


Life is a Flight

by Miraichaos



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Aviation student Shiro, Ex-military Shiro, Fluff, IT Technician Matt Holt, Injury, M/M, Matt Holt/ Shiro, Matt is a memelord but hes also shy, Mentions of PTSD, Panic Attacks, Romance, Shatt, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shiro has a cat, Shiro is actually awkward, Slow Burn, Trauma, brief descriptions of violence, mentions of klance, past bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 64,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12363570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraichaos/pseuds/Miraichaos
Summary: Takashi Shirogane is a third-year college student who keeps to himself. He is avoided due to his intimidating appearance, which is feared and mocked by others. His only friend is his younger "brother" Keith. Shiro is prepared for another year of isolation, until his phone breaks and he visits the campus IT Center, where he meets a kind boy named Matt who does not seem to mind his appearance. It just may turn out that Shiro makes his first friend, or maybe something more





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So I started writing this weeks before s4 was released, so my characterization of Matt is a bit off. He doesn't show up in this chapter, which is mostly setting the place and introducing Shiro, but I promise it won't take long for Matt to appear. I'm also aware that college, military ranks, and other such things don't work in reality the way they work in this fic, but I did this the way I did for the story. To follow reality would make it a lot more difficult and I'd have to mess with their ages a little. Anyway I hope you all can enjoy this, and I plan for weekly updates. The first chapter is boring, I know, but I have to get that set before I can get into the relationship. Sorry for any errors, typos, etc and enjoy the chapter

"Takashi Shirogane?"

A tan-skinned man with dull brown eyes approached the counter, wisps of white hair tangling in his eyelashes. The rest of his hair was grey and extremely short, nothing but fuzz on the bottom and nearly completely shorn off on the top, besides a tuft of white at the very front above his forehead. He was tall with very broad shoulders, and scars littered his skin where it wasn't covered by his t-shirt, worn leather gloves, or pants. The worst of them that any regular person could see was a pinkish-brown one that stretched over the bridge of his nose.

Everything about him screamed military, warrior, and intimidation. Those in the room with him shrunk away slightly, the very few who had children with them pulling their kids toward them and as far away from the man's path as possible. He looked dangerous, and his tense posture gave away his constant alertness.

"You're Takashi Shirogane?" the old woman at the desk asked, eyeing the man cautiously. He pretended not to notice.

"Yes ma'am," the man, Shiro, told her with a small smile. The woman relaxed at his politeness, and she spun in her chair to pick up the folder next to her computer.

"I just need you to sign a few things on this paper and make sure all the details with your scholarship are right. If you have any questions, feel free to ask," she said, marking a few lines with X's were he needed to sign.

Shiro gave the woman a nod and looked down at the paper, his eyes carefully scanning each and every word. With each correct section, he signed his name, making sure he wouldn't mess up and end up with a hefty bill at the end of the semester. Each section he read efficiently but with enough care to not miss anything, and once he reached the bottom he found that everything was in order. His classes and boarding were covered, and he only needed to pay for food and textbooks. Everything was as it should have been, and Shiro touched the pen to the paper to sign his name one final time. Just before he started, he glimpsed the typed words just above the line, his name spelled out in its entirety and... his rank.

Shiro paused for a moment as his mind flew back to the last time someone had spoken his rank. He'd been fresh out of the hospital, his body held together by stitches and bandages wrapped all around him. And his arm, the surprise he'd woken up to after being so sure he'd die. His arm, nothing but stitches, fresh scars, and so much metal. It had been salvaged to the point that he still had perfect use of his arm and hand, but it wasn't at all the same as before. That day when he'd been discharged, when his former commander fixed a purple heart on his uniform, all Shiro could feel was the cold metal beneath his bandages. It was patched to his skin and filled the parts of his bones that were missing or too broken to mend. Too many stitches held together what would later become even more scars.

Shiro didn't realize he was shaking until his pen tapped the paper again, and he shook his head to return to the present. A quick glance around revealed that no one was staring at him, no one had noticed his small episode. Letting out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, Shiro carefully signed the paper using his name and former rank, then handed it back to the woman behind the counter. She gave him a smile and a tagged key in return.

"Your dorm building and number are written on the tag. If you have any trouble finding your room, just ask for help," she told him when he accepted the key and flipped the tag over to read it.

"Thank you very much," he told her with a slight nod before turning. He retrieved his bags from where he had left them on the floor and headed for the door, not looking back. It was his third year, and his dorm room was the same one it had been the two previous years. A family dorm converted into a single for students with disabilities who may need more space. At a glance, no one would think Shiro was disabled at all. However, he was clinically diagnosed with a somewhat severe case of PTSD from the events of his military career, and that was quite enough to get him labeled as 'disabled'. He was also allowed a therapy animal, and even though he didn't have an kind of specially trained pet, he did have a cat he'd found abandoned in a dumpster as a kitten. The small creature had been tied up in a plastic bag and was missing an eye and a chunk of one ear. Shiro had never expected to adopt any kind of animal, but the kitten had reminded him of himself. It was alone an damaged, but still fighting.

After a short walk away from the main campus office, Shiro found his building. It was one of the smaller, quieter ones, set up like a motel with two floors rather than the hotel-like layout of most other dorms. It sat surrounded by trees and bushes that blocked out the world, lending Shiro the peace he desperately needed.

Shiro's footsteps were soft and quiet as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, then walked to the very end of the balcony that spanned the entire front of the building until he reached his door. He slipped the key into the lock and listened to it release with a familiar click. The door opened smoothly, and he stepped into the room that had been his home for four semesters so far, going on five.

The room was decently sized, with a living area just inside the door, a small kitchen and dining area off of that, and two bedrooms with a bathroom tucked between them. Shiro wandered through each room, pulling a frayed sweatshirt from around his waist and tossing it on the sofa. He made a stop in the bathroom and pulled a pack of toiletries from the duffel bag dangling from his fist, leaving it on the counter of the sink to be unpacked later. He then stepped into the bigger of the two bedrooms, which he used for working out. He no longer needed to stay fit, as he wasn't in the military anymore, but his old habits brought him a little too much comfort to just let go of them. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor and heard the satisfying clink of dumbbells within it, then moved on to the other bedroom.

Shiro's feet covered the familiar distance between the doorway and the bed that was tucked into the corner. He turned and slowly sat on the plain mattress, hearing the bedframe creak under his weight. Shrugging his backpack from his shoulders, Shiro let out a deep sigh and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his face into his hands. He was exhausted already from the long drive to the college, the hours of being regarded with tension and unease while working on checking in and doing paperwork related to his scholarship, and lugging two heavy bags the entire way. Everything in his body ached, and even the hunks of metal that had replaced most of his right arm felt tired.

_Meow._

The zipper on Shiro's backpack clanged, and the man turned around just in time to see a fluffy head poke through the small unzipped portion of the bag. A cat, much smaller than it should have been at its age, looked at Shiro with nothing but innocence. It's head was black with a white circle around its missing left eye, and splotches of white dotted its chest and back before melting into pure white to the base of its tail and middle of its legs. At those points the fur turned black again, all the way to the underside of the cat's paws. The only aberration was the cat's right foreleg, which was entirely black except for some small splotches of white. That was the part of the cat Shiro loved most, besides its sweet behavior and the comfort it brought him.

"Eurus!" Shiro called softly with a small smile. His voice rasped, betraying how tired he was, and the cat seemed to notice. It wiggled out of the backpack and jumped onto Shiro's back, climbing to his shoulders before dropping on his lap and flopping on its side. "Good girl," he said to her, and the cat, Eurus, nuzzled his hand affectionately.

Shiro settled into a rhythm as he stroked the cat's soft fur, and her purrs reached his ears even after he had lain back on the bed and closed his eyes. Shiro didn't even know he was drifting off until he was already swallowed up by dreams.

-000-

Shiro awoke to a warmth on his chest, and when he blinked his eyes open he found Eurus curled up on him, asleep. It brought a smile to the man's face, and he lifted a hand to scratch the cat's chin as his gaze turned to the window. It was dark out, but he didn't have a clock to tell the time. He had his phone, but it was in his back pocket and he wouldn't be able to get it without disturbing Eurus. 

With a quiet sigh, Shiro resigned himself to waiting until Eurus stirred, and he traced the faint lines of the uneven surface beneath the paint on the ceiling with his eyes. They were swirly like clouds, and reminded him of the sky. He began to feel the memory of wind in his hair, blowing his bangs from his face as he stood on the runway. The echo of roaring engines filled his ears, and he was back in his jet. The world around him was a beautiful blue with puffy splotches of white clouds surfing lazily in the breeze below him. A streak of grey caught his eye as one of his crew whizzed by, howling with glee through the headset. Shiro couldn't bring himself to tell the soldier off as a small chuckle escaped him. The force against his chest as he accelerated after his comrade was a familiar embrace that he welcomed, at least until it began to grow too strong. Puzzled, Shiro attempted to speak, but his vocal cords were suddenly strained and raw, incapable of making anything but pathetic rasps. The next thing he knew, he was in captivity.

Ropes bound Shiro tightly to a chair, biting his wrists and constricting his chest. Each breath took energy he didn't think he had. The bridge of his nose throbbed and burned, the wound still relatively fresh and growing infected. The blindfold tied around his head was tight enough to make him feel the pressure on his skull. He could feel his ribs straining his skin, his muscle and fat gone from weeks and weeks of starvation and little movement. His mind was lost, afraid, hurting, and broken. A small part of him hoped rescue would come, but he'd mostly given up on that. All he could feel was pain and misery, and despite the break from torture at the moment, he knew something worse was to come.

A sharp pain drew Shiro out of his mind and he gasped for breath, bolting upright and starling Eurus. Her claws dug further into his stomach during the motion before she tumbled completely off him and onto the bed. Shiro's eyes widened momentarily and he reached for the cat quickly. Picking her up, Shiro stroked Eurus's head a few times apologetically and set her back on his lap, where she turned to look at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, still a little out of breath. Eurus stared another moment, then nudged her head against his stomach. Shiro smiled and began to pet the cat again, thankful for her forgiveness.

When Eurus jumped off of Shiro's lap and jogged to the door, Shiro remembered he hadn't fed her in a while, and he hadn't had access to a little box all day. He hurriedly jumped to his feet and ran to the room with his duffel bag, which held a large plastic bag full of litter and a litter box. Shiro dropped the box in the corner before dumping the litter in, and he'd barely finished before Eurus was in the box.

Shiro left Eurus to do her business and returned to his bedroom, where he opened his backpack and emptied it. He put the clothes in the dresser, taking extra care with his aviation uniform, and stacked the books on the desk, then pulled out the various other things that filled the nooks and crannies in the bag. A sack of cat treats went on the desk, a pocket knife beside it. A laptop charger and laptop were set out on Shiro's bed, and he plugged the laptop in and turned it on to check out his class list one last time. A few other things from the backpack were settled in various places around the room, then Shiro finally pulled out his phone to check the time. 6am.

Deciding it wasn't worth it to sleep, given his classes started in three hours, Shiro moved on to the other room to unpack his duffel. Dumbbells were placed gently on the floor, and a small standing punching bag was pushed into a corner. A medicine ball rolled to a stop next to the dumbbells. Some more clothes and a few other things were pulled from the duffel bag until it was empty, and Shiro wandered through his dorm placing everything in its place until his arms and both his bags were empty. Once he finished, he checked the time again. 6:45am.

Shiro spent the remaining two hours before his class checking for assignments online, making his bed, working out, showering, and devouring a couple granola bars for breakfast. At 8:30am he was headed out the door in his uniform while Eurus weaved around his feet until he shut the door.


	2. Recommendation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let's pretend this isn't garbage I uploaded while exhausted from a week of work/school and going on 21 hours without sleep. I promise Matt is in chapter three :)

Ten minutes before class, Shiro reached the designated room. Ten other students sat in the rows of seats, most of them on their phones, one with a book, though all of them were familiar faces. Everyone in the room was at the same level of training, and with just two aviation classes in that level, it was rare to not know everyone else. Transfers from other colleges never brought new faces into the aviation program, despite seeming to expand just about every other major.

At exactly 8am, the instructor walked in. A tall man with bulging muscles who was bigger than Shiro strode to the front of them room, crossing his beefy arms over his chest as his beady eyes scanned the students intently. The corner of his lips curved up just slightly when his eyes passed over Shiro, who dipped his head a fraction in return.

After a minute of silence, the instructor finally spoke.

"I see many familiar faces from the exam last year. A few I was impressed with, as well," he stated, glancing briefly at Shiro. "Besides that, welcome to your third year of training. For those of you who don't know me or don't remember my name, I'm ex-Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Aaron Con, and I'll be your instructor this semester. I hope you all know that my expectations are high this year, since you've all have quite a bit of experience in flight. I was present at your exams last year, and got to witness exactly what I'm dealing with, but there is always the possibility that your skills faded over the summer break. That being said, I need a more accurate gauge of your skills before we further your training. Today will be flight simulations, and once I've gotten a grasp on each of your skills and weaknesses, we'll get into the classroom stuff. Once the textbook is out of the way, we fly," he explained.

A knock on the door drew the attention of Instructor Con, who walked over and opened it a crack. None of the students could see outside, and not Instructor Con nor whoever was outside was speaking. Instead, Con peeked out the door for a moment before turning back toward the class.

"I understand that many of you plan to go into military careers after you complete your education. However, not everyone is cut out to fly a fighter jet, so we've decided to bring in an expert to help pick out the promising candidates," he stated, before stepping away from the door and returning to the middle of the room, stopping a little further to the left than the center. "Now, I have the honor of introducing General Holt, retired officer of the United States Air Force," he said with all formality, snapping his heels together and raising his fingers to his brow in a crisp salute as a tall, greying man with small, rectangular glasses and wrinkled eyes walked in. He chuckled at Instructor Con's salute, then waved his hand to get the man to relax. Instructor Con let go of his rigid posture, but his back remained straight and his chin lowered slightly as he clasped his hands behind his back respectfully.

General Holt turned to the students with a warm smile on his face, which made his eyes crinkle cheerfully. He looked nothing like a war veteran, especially one of such high rank, unless someone who knew what they were looking for gazed into his eyes. Behind a layer of warmth lay a lack of light, the despair and coldness brought on by war, loss, and pain. Shiro knew what that looked like because he saw it every day when he looked in the mirror. However, where General Holt had a blanket of warmth in his eyes that hid the darkness, Shiro did not. The younger man could only wonder how his senior had managed such a thing.

"Well hello! As Instructor Con said, I'm Holt, Samuel Holt, and will be working to help you hone your skills for whatever career you intend to pursue, mostly for those who wish to take the military route. It isn't for everyone, and I suspect that a few of you here who plan to join the Air Force will either change your minds or find that you don't have what it takes." A moment of darkness peeked through the warmth in his eyes, but was quickly buried. "You may call me Instructor Holt. While I was a General when I was serving, I'm retired now and that title is no longer needed. I look forward to working with you all, and good luck on achieving your goals for the future," he said.

A quiet chorus of 'Yes, sir's came from the students, earning a smile from Instructor Holt before he stepped back and allowed Instructor Con to take over. The younger man spoke a little more about the simulation the students would be doing, then he led the class to the flight simulation room in the basement, Instructor Holt walking beside him.

On the way downstairs, Shiro felt his phone buzz in his pocket. His mind off somewhere else, he reached into his pocket with his right hand and pulled the phone out, only to knock his elbow on the railing. While he had no feeling in most of his arm due to the metal and many dead nerves, his ulnar nerve was an important one that remained. When his arm was destroyed, his elbow survived, but a piece of something broke off and left his ulnar nerve more exposed. It was covered with a metal shield, but like anyone else, hitting his elbow a certain way and hitting that ulnar nerve sent a wave up numbness down his arm. The only difference was that, for him, it meant numbness in his entire arm, and his grip on his phone went lax as a quiet curse escaped him. The device fell helplessly to the concrete steps. It bounced from one step to another, then down another four before stopping on the first floor landing. Shiro hurried toward it, and was careful to use his left hand to pick the phone up. He flipped it over in his hand a few times and found that the screen had miraculously survived. However, when he hit the power button, nothing happened.

Just one more flight down the staircase, Instructor Con was opening the door to the basement. Most of the students who had been behind Shiro on the way down had passed him, and with a sigh the grey-haired student dropped his phone back into his pocket and booked it down the stairs, catching up with his classmates just outside the basement door. He would have to deal with his phone later. At the moment, he had a simulation to do.

-000-

The simulation was a breeze. Instructor Con had used three settings for the simulation; cargo, fighter, and commercial. The cargo simulation was all about flying steady, turning smoothly, and dealing with high wind speeds. Fighter was something that had been reality for him for a few years, and he maneuvered with expert grace, defeating all of his enemies and dodging every attack that came at him. Commercial was a bit of a struggle, since he had never flown a plane with more than one or two human passengers, especially not civilian passengers. Despite that, he handled the plane well. The simulation involved a surprise loss of power at the end, and at least half of the students failed because of it. The maneuvers for such a thing were above their level, and they hadn't yet been taught how to bring a plane back online. Shiro only knew due to his military experience, though even he struggled with the simulation, as did the others who managed to pass it to some degree.

Being last person to do the simulation, Shiro stumbled out of the room as the rest of the students were leaving, the class returning to the room for some textbook. The simulations had taken almost five hours, but the class went on for six. There was still an hour left, and Instructor Con was very intent on taking care of the textbook business as quickly as possible.

On his way to the staircase, Shiro's arm bumped into something and he turned to see Instructor Holt looking at him, studying him. The older man was a few inches shorter than Shiro, and far less bulky, but his presence was strong. It was clear that he had been a powerful leader in the past.

"Oh, uh, sorry sir," Shiro stated, tripping slightly on his words. His tone was polite and respectful as always, but for some reason he couldn't quite read Instructor Holt well enough to speak comfortably around him. There was something the man kept hidden very deep, and while Shiro could sense its existence, he couldn't see it.

Instructor Holt smiled. "Don't worry about it," he said, then his gaze flicked to Shiro's pocket. "Was that your phone I heard falling earlier?" the older man asked, taking a guess based on the sag of Shiro's shoulders and the way the younger man's fingers drummed on his pocket but didn't pull out his phone.

Shiro nodded, then reached for the device in his pocket. He pressed the power button and held it, but nothing happened. A second attempt yielded the same results, and Shiro turned the phone over in his hand in search of some kind of damage.

  
"I hear this school has a IT Center run by the technology professors and their best students. I was told teachers get free repairs on technology, but students have to pay. I don't believe it's too pricy, though, and I think students get their first repair free. Think about going and having the kids there take a look at your phone," Instructor Holt recommended. Shiro nodded.

"Thank you, sir. I will."

The two completed the rest of the walk in silence, Shiro occasionally stealing glances at the man beside him. Instructor Holt came off as very kind and warm, but Shiro could sense something within him that felt a bit unsettling, and he had to suppress a shiver as he walked. The feeling remained even after the two reached the classroom and moved apart, much to Shiro's discomfort. He was already starting to like Instructor Holt, but simply couldn't shake the unease the man made him feel. Shiro could only wonder if other students felt it too.

"Open to page ten in your textbooks. This is something all of you need to know, but anyone who wants to be a commercial pilot needs to pay extra attention..."

The class droned on, and as Shiro listened and took notes, he started to wonder what scene he might encounter at the IT Center.

-000-

When class was over, Shiro was the last to leave. While the rest of the students hurriedly packed up their bags to head to their next class, Shiro pulled his phone from his pocket once again. He flipped it over in his hands, studying the small piece of technology until loud music suddenly exploded in the room. The sudden noise made Shiro's head fly up, and he nearly dropped his phone. His body tensed, waiting for something to happen, but there was only an embarrassed chuckle.

At the front of the room, Instructor Holt was digging through his pockets with a small smile on his face. Pink dusted his wrinkled cheeks as he pulled his phone from his pocket and answered.

"Hey there son! How are you doing?"

Feeling like he was being invasive by hanging around during Instructor Holt's private phone call, Shiro hurriedly gathered his things and walked out of the classroom as quick as he could without seeming disrespectful. On his way out, he was careful to close the door gently so the sound wouldn't interrupt the instructor's conversation, and he accidentally overheard another sentence. Instructor Holt's tone was far more serious than before.

"Just be careful. We don't need a repeat of back then."

Shiro left before he could overhear anything else.


	3. Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whoops this is kinda trash and short. Besides that, look who showed up (o3o) Sorry about any errors or overall garbage writing. I've been even busier than usual all week and my writing skills are super rusty.

Ten minutes after leaving the classroom, Shiro was in the cafeteria. He wasn't feeling particularly hungry, despite not having eaten anything but two granola bars in the last twenty-four hours. Food wasn't why he was there. Instead, he was avoiding the IT Center. It wasn't that he was one of those guys who didn't want to associate with "nerdy people" or any of the stupid crap he'd heard throughout his life. Instead, he didn't want to go because he felt anxious. Despite what some might've thought, he was actually quite bad at socializing, and was a bit anxious around people he didn't know. Part of it was an attempt to keep others at arm's length so they wouldn't find out about his captivity, or, as ironic as it was, his arm. Overall he had never been much of a social butterfly, and the thought of walking into a room full of people far smarter than him was a bit intimidating. His greatest fear about going was that he would hand over his phone and they person at the desk would give it a little tap, then it would immediately start working just fine.

Shaking the thoughts of embarrassment out of his mind, Shiro joined the queue for the lunch line and picked up a sandwich and water. After paying, he sat down and wolfed his food down, finding that he had been extremely hungry, he just hadn't felt it. He then chugged his water and came to the realization that he no longer had any excuse to not go to the IT Center. His plan had been to eat slowly, but that clearly had not happened. For a moment he considered just waiting a day and seeing if his phone would start working again, but he made himself forget the idea when he remembered Keith would probably call. If Shiro didn't respond when his brother called, then the man would end up with an eighteen year-old more stubborn than a brat storming the school. Just the thought of it made him sigh, and the imagery overrode his anxieties and left him walking out of the cafeteria, tossing his garbage in the appropriate bins as he left.

-000-

Far too soon, Shiro was standing outside the IT Center. He was just outside the door with his back pressed against the wall as if he was on a mission, when in reality he was hoping for the silence to be broken before he entered.

Shiro let five minutes pass, then ten, and there still wasn't a single sound from the room. If it wasn't for the sign on the door stating that the place was in fact open, he would have figured there was no one there.

With a silent breath to prepare himself, Shiro slowly turned the corner and stepped into the room. His footfalls brought no noise, a trained skill, as he walked across the frayed, grey carpet. He scanned the walls and found them to be plain white concrete and totally bare. There wasn't a single poster of anything, not even any basic recommendations for troubleshooting malfunctioning tech. Even the desk that stretched across the middle of the room had nothing on it, just boring grey plastic and metal that matched the carpet below. A look at the surface of the large desk revealed nothing but a few scratches and a single bell.

The bell was a typical silver and black one with a small button on the top meant to make it ring. However, instead of ringing the bell, Shiro simply stared. He didn't know what to do at the moment. Should he ring it? Should he call out? Should he just stand there and wait for someone to come? What if no one came? What if they were closed but someone just forgot to flip the sign and close the door?

"It's not going to ring if you just stare at it."

Shiro jumped and nearly dropped his backpack on the floor at the sound of a voice. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed the approaching figure until the person spoke, something that hadn't happened since before his capture. His eyes darted up from the bell to the lone figure walking from a doorway in the back of the room toward the desk, a polite smile on their face. As the person got closer and brushed their bangs from their face, Shiro realized that it was young male, one who looked like he was in high school. He had short, light hair the color of earthy sand, and his eyes were a bright brown that looked almost gold. Medium-sized circular glasses sat in front of his eyes, and seemed to make them look even brighter. Once the boy reached the desk, Shiro noticed that he towered more than a head over the other, who wasn't quite shoulder height on Shiro. In a blue and white hoodie and grey cargo pants, the boy looked plain, but Shiro also found him intriguing. There was something oddly familiar about him that the aviation student couldn't quite place.

"Did you need help with something?" the boy asked, and Shiro realized he'd been standing there staring in complete silence for at least a solid twenty seconds.

"Oh, uh, my phone," he mumbled, slight color flushing his cheeks. He mentally slapped himself for somehow inventing another two ways his time in the tech center could go wrong and executing them both literally the moment someone walked in.

Shiro pulled his phone from his pocket and held it out for the boy on the other side of the counter, who took it and looked it over.

"I dropped it while going down the stairs. It tumbled a bit and now it won't turn on," Shiro explained, scratching the back on his head.

The boy nodded, his polite expression gone and replaced by a calculating look. He flipped the phone over a few more times, then pressed the buttons a bit. When nothing happened, he ran his finger along the side of it until he came across a small dip, and he wedged his fingernail in it. The back of the phone popped up where the boy's finger was, and he pried off the stubborn plastic with practiced ease. The boy set the back on the counter and examined the inside of the phone, looking at the battery. He then popped that out as well, and lifted the remainder of the phone up closer to his eyes. He looked a few parts over, and after about another minute of fiddling, looked up at Shiro.

"I have an idea of what could be wrong, but it'll take a while to take the phone apart and get to it. Do you think you can leave it here overnight?" the boy asked.

Shiro contemplated for a moment, then decided it was better to leave the phone with someone who actually had a chance at fixing it rather than taking it with him when it was still broken. Only the first option would get it in working order quickly.

"Sure," he said, hiking his bag further up on his shoulder. The boy behind the counter nodded and pulled a notepad and pen from his pocket.

"Do you have your school ID?" the boy asked, and Shiro nodded. The man dug into his pocket and pulled the small card out, then handed it over. The boy took it and looked it over, then began to write. He quickly scribbled out Shiro's full name and his age in a series of neat lines and loops, as well as his student number, then handed the card back. He then reached under the counter and pulled out a gallon-sized plastic bag, which he filled with the parts of Shiro's phone as well as the paper. After sealing the bag, he pulled a marker from his pocket and wrote the date on the bag, which he then placed on a cart a few paces behind him. "Come back about this time tomorrow, and your phone should be fixed. It looks like this is your first visit to us as well, so this repair is free," the boy said as he walked back to the counter. Shiro nodded.

"Thank you, uh," he paused, spotting a small metal nametag pinned to the boy's shirt, "Matt," he finished. The boy, Matt, smiled slightly.

"Enjoy the rest of your day, Mr. Shirogane." With that, he was gone. He disappeared as quickly as he'd appeared just minutes earlier, gone in the blink of an eye. All Shiro could do was glance around the room for a moment before he turned and left, not wanting to deal with anymore strange things or awkward encounters that day. On the bright side however, instead of being hung up on his awkward interaction, Shiro's mind was stuck on another thought. Why did Matt look so familiar?

-000-

Shiro spent the rest of his evening in classes. He sat through two hours of English and two hours of mechanics, then was finally released at 8pm. He walked out of the building and into the chilly dusk air. A breath of the cold filled him with calm and clarity, and the stress of the day melted away with a slow exhale. His head tilted back as his eyes gazed at the violet sky above, and a small part of him longed to be up with the clouds and the colors. For a fraction of a second, he wanted nothing more than to be back in his fighter jet, streaking towards the sunset. Unfortunately, he would never experience that again. He was too damaged, both physically and mentally, to go back to what he used to do. He was different than he was back then. The Takashi Shirogane of those days was dead, killed in an explosion while saving his comrades.


	4. The Second Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the late update. I was out of town last week and fell behind with schoolwork, so I wasn't able to post the new chapter until today.

The next morning, Shiro had no classes. His aviation classes were on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, while his English classes were on Mondays and Wednesday and his mechanics classes on Mondays and Fridays. His schedule was light that year, as he had filled his weeks to the brim his previous two years in an attempt to distract himself from the past and settle back into some sort of civilian life. Most of his required classes were out of the way, and if not for the fact that his aviation classes required four years to complete, he could have graduated after his third year by adding just two more classes.

With Tuesdays and Wednesdays free, as well as Saturdays and Sundays, Shiro knew he would end up bored quite often. He was used to constant work, constant movement, something for him to do at every moment. The idea of stopping to relax for more than an hour or two was completely foreign to him, something he hadn't done since he picked up athletics in junior high.

It took only ten minutes of pacing through his dorm room, patting his pocket for a phone that wasn't there, and flipping through the books he'd already read four times each before Shiro decided he needed to get out. It was barely 9am, and he still had another five hours before he needed to back to the IT Center. He contemplated going there to see if the Matt from the day before had finished working on his phone early, but decided against it. He wasn't even sure that the boy was the one who would fix it, or even if he was truly a college student. Matt had a nametag, and he'd seemed to know what he was doing, but Shiro wasn't entirely convinced that the young-looking boy was actually a college student. If anything, he had to be freshman, but it seemed more likely that he was just the son of the instructor filling in while everyone else ate lunch.

Shaking the thoughts of the IT Center from his mind, Shiro found himself standing in his exercise room. There wasn't much in there, none of it meant for anything more than a quick work-out between classes. He knew he could only do so much for so long without getting bored of the repetition and lack of challenge, and he had hours to burn. Instead, his best bet would be to go to the gym on campus for students. He didn't like it since there were so many people and he had to work out in a long-sleeved shirt to hide his arm. The heavier clothes always resulted in him getting tired and hot quicker than if he was in his dorm wearing something lighter, but the alternative was completely out of the question.

It took only two minutes for Shiro to change his clothes, throwing on a long-sleeved black shirt with a few of the buttons below the collar undone and some athletic shorts. He tied his shoes quickly, not even thinking as he knotted the laces and pocketed his ID beside an MP3 player. With one last lap around the house, in which he fed Eurus and spot-cleaned her litter box, Shiro was headed for the door. He only stopped at his dresser, where he picked up the black leather gloves he almost never took off. They were meant to cover just his metallic right hand, but wearing one leather glove stood out more than a pair, so he wore them both. The only time he took them off at school was when he was alone in his dorm. They would make exercising a little harder and require washing after, but that was better than baring his hand to the world. Shiro tugged the gloves on and left the room.

-000-

It was a ten minute walk from Shiro's dorm to the campus gym, which was relatively empty. The early morning rush before classes was gone, and only a few others who had either the day, or just the morning free were in the room. Three occupied treadmills and ellipticals, while a fourth and fifth were lifting weights. One person was doing yoga in a corner, and the man at the check-in desk sat in his chair and scrolled around on his phone with bloodshot eyes. Shiro approached that man quietly, but his large form did not go unnoticed. The second his shadow fell over the man at the desk, the phone was down and the sign-in clipboard was out. Shiro held out his ID for the man to take to sign him in, and he tried to smile to lessen the tension. He didn't try to intimidate people, but his large body, scarred face, bulging muscles, and military-esque appearance tended to do it anyway.

The man at the desk handed back Shiro's ID, then watched the aviation student walk away from the desk and toward the weights. Shiro pretended not to notice as he pulled his MP3 player from his pocket and shoved the headphones into his ears, tucking the device back into his pocket after hitting play. An upbeat, fast-paced song began to play as Shiro set up a machine for weighted standing calf raises, and he was already started before the song reached its midpoint.

After a good thirty minutes of his leg workout, Shiro shifted to another machine to do some upper-body work. The cable crossover machine in the gym was rather new in comparison to a lot of the other stuff, and Shiro had the feeling some students were responsible for that. There was always that one person who would set the cable as heavy as they could on just one side then attempt to dangle from it. The issue there was that the pulley got the pressure of the entire weight of the person as well as the weight on the end of the cable, and sometimes the pulley would break. It wasn't too hard to replace, but repeating the same action over and over would eventually lead to requiring a whole new machine.

Shiro was careful to make sure the weight was right on both sides before he started, and ignored the small sparks of pain in his right arm as he worked. He had been warned back in the hospital that strain on his arm could cause pain, especially if his muscles were swelling beneath the metal due to heavy lifting. No damage would be done to his arm if he worked out, but pain was inevitable, and would unfortunately just get worse the longer he exerted himself. For Shiro, it would be quite a while before he had to quit. However, once he did quit, it would take some time before he could use that arm again, at least an hour.

With a few short breaks, Shiro worked on the cable crossover machine for nearly an hour. His back, shoulders, biceps, triceps, and fingers all ached, and his right arm throbbed where skin met metal. Despite that, the workout still felt very refreshing, and Shiro didn't feel like calling it quits quite yet. He moved on to the hand weights, and selected somewhat lighter ones that he clenched in his hands while lunging and squatting. He then picked up an empty bar off the floor and stuck weights just lighter than his preferred ones on each end. Shiro hefted the bar up onto his shoulders, than began to squat again, falling into a smooth rhythm that matched the song he was listening to. When the next one came on a little more upbeat, he increased his pace, then slowed it for the one after that.

Shiro used a couple more machines before his hand swiped his pocket and he remembered that he didn't have his phone. The man scanned the walls for a clock and found one near the check-in desk, which read 1pm. He still had two hours left before he needed to drop in at the IT Center, but he was a bit too tired to continue at the gym for that long. His shirt was making his uncomfortable, the damp material scratching uncomfortably at the scarred skin below it.

A flash of movement outside caught Shiro's eye, and he looked to the source to find two young women jogging side by side. They moved slowly, talking and laughing as they went, but their exercise Â wasn't a bad choice. Shiro waited for the pair to pass by completely before he headed for the door, keeping his pace slow so no one would think he was following them. He then waited a moment outside the gym, scrolling through his music until he found a quick one to start off with. Shiro selected it, adjusted his headphones, then took off at a light run.

-000-

Throughout his run, Shiro let his mind wander. The wind on his face reminded him of flying and the freedom it brought him. The memory of the faces of his crew, some of whom he'd lost on the battlefield, others to the traumatic memories back home, ghosted through his mind and hit him with a wave of guilt. He wished he was still there for his people, the young men and women who had served with him and flown with him, listening to him despite the fact that he was younger and less experienced than every single one of them.

The thoughts of the military shifted to Instructor Holt, a veteran with an unknown story. Shiro longed to learn more about the man, despite having just met him the day before. While Shiro himself hated telling his own story, especially the darker bits, he loved hearing about the experiences of others. Most of all he loved to hear about the comradery, something that sometimes wound up being the only thing soldiers had left in the world.

Shiro's mind changed course once again, this time landing on an image of his cat. The thought made Shiro smile a little bit as he thought about the way she purred and pawed at him when he was in a state of anxiety, easing his mind. Shiro knew that she calmed him down better than any fancy therapy animal could, and he loved how she gave him a purpose. She gave him a chance to protect something and make it grow instead of doing things that resulted in loss of life.

After a few more shifts, Shiro mind landed on Matt, the boy from the IT Center. It made him pause in his run, and when he looked around to figure out where he was, he found that he was standing right outside the building the IT Center was in. There was no clock to tell him the time, and after being lost in thought for so long, he had no idea how long he'd been running.

Panting quietly, Shiro stepped into the building and wandered toward the IT Center, stopping inside an empty classroom on his way to check the clock. 2:45pm. He was right on time. Shiro walked down the hall, calming his breathing on his way to the room where he had been the day before. The door was open once again with the sign stating that they were open hanging on it, a reassuring sight.

This time, Shiro did not stop outside the door. Instead he plunged right in, turning the corner and pulling out a headphone as he walked up to the counter. Unlike the day before, there was someone at the counter, though all Shiro could see was the back of a white t-shirt. The owner of the shirt was bent over, digging around under the counter, and Shiro stopped a few steps away to wait. It only took a few moments for the person to straighten, revealing that Matt was back once again. The familiar face sent a wave of calm through Shiro, who was glad that he didn't have to deal with another new face.

"Ah, Shirogane. You back for your phone?" Matt asked, shoving his bangs out of his face. Shiro nodded, suddenly aware that his white tuft of hair was matted to his forehead and he was super sweaty from working out. It had never occurred to him to take a shower before stopping in at the IT center, but he was starting to think it would have been a very good idea.

Matt crossed the room and walked through the doorway in the back. Shiro heard some rustling before the boy returned with a plastic bag containing a phone. The bag was the same one as the day before, with Shir's name on it, but unlike before, the phone was in one piece.

"When you dropped it one of your wires came out of its socket, so the screen wasn't getting any power. That's why it wouldn't turn on," Matt explained as he opened the bag and pulled out Shiro's phone, keeping his language simple out of consideration for Shiro and the man's lack of technical knowledge.

"Uh, thanks," Shiro said awkwardly, accepting his phone when it was handed back to him. He pressed the power button and watched the screen come to life, thankfully with no missed calls. No angry teenager rampages would happen that day.

Shiro spent another minute fiddling with his phone next to the counter, then realized Matt was still there. The boy was watching him with the strange glint of a cocktail of emotions in his eyes, one of them curiosity, but Shiro could discern nothing else. He wondered if it was his appearance or if the stare was a high school student studying a college student, at least until he noticed a lanyard containing a college ID with the Matt's face hanging around the boy's neck. In that case, it had to be his appearance like always. Thankfully though, unlike many other wide-eyed observers Shiro had encountered, Matt made no comments and asked no questions.

Instead of waiting to leave until he had made sure everything on his phone worked, Shiro decided to make his exit before the silence in the room could be broken and thanked Matt for his work before heading to the door.


	5. Just 'Shiro' is Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter came a little later than expected, but I'm glad to finally be posting it. Sorry for the long, sudden hiatus. I was a lot busier than I thought I would be and ran into a lot of issues. I finally have some extra time, but will get pretty busy again soon. In preparation for that, I will plan chapters to come at 2-4 week intervals depending on how much time I have. Sorry for the confusion, but this is the best way I could find to keep the story going while also getting all my work done. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter!

It was only a week before Shiro ended up back at the IT Center.

He was careful with his phone, keeping it put away when he was going down the stairs and being sure to set it down gently instead of lazily dropping it when he wasn’t using it. He even set it a little further back on the small table next to his bed that served as a night stand, taking the extra precaution to assure it wouldn’t fall on the floor in case Eurus decided to play with the charging cord while he was sleeping.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that Shiro was focusing all of his thoughts on protecting his phone, he was a bit negligent with his other technology. He was no longer keeping up with the updates on his ancient laptop, and he didn’t notice the way his screen would flicker each time he turned it on. It wasn’t until the day he really needed it, when Instructor Con assigned the students a video to watch during class, that Shiro’s laptop decided to bite the dust.

Shiro pressed the power button on his laptop and watched the screen blink to life. The fans began to whir as buttons lit up, then it all suddenly stopped. Shiro frowned and watched the light next to the power button fade, so he clicked the button again. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing. A few seconds passed before Shiro lightly smacked the side of the device a few times, but there was no sound.

A silent sigh escaped Shiro as he dropped his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his tangled bangs and close-cropped hair. His eyes slipped shut as a wave of stress washed over him, tensing his muscles and making his brain buzz. The video had a list of questions that went along with it, all of them due at the end of the class, but his laptop was the only device that could play it. His phone could play videos, but the file type of the video wasn’t compatible with it, so the video wouldn’t play on there.

“Are you alright, Shirogane?”

Shiro’s head snapped up at the voice in front of him, and his gaze rose to meet that of Instructor Holt. The man wore his usual cheerful smile, and his hands were clasped behind his back, a habit from the military Shiro guessed the man hadn’t shaken.

“My laptop just,” Shiro began, before dropping his hand on the table with no grandeur to represent the state of his device. “And my phone can’t play the video,” he added.

Instructor Holt nodded, his smile dimming just slightly as he picked up on what Shiro meant. “It seems you might need to visit the IT Center again,” the man recommended. “Go ahead and go. I’ll talk to Instructor Con and see about extending the due date for your responses,” he said, gesturing to the questions sheet.

Shiro nodded and thanked the man, then got to his feet. He closed his backpack and shouldered it before closing his laptop, picking it up, and heading out of the room. He was aware of all the eyes on him, and he felt his pace quicken involuntarily halfway across the room. He didn’t even look in Instructor Con’s direction, afraid the man might be irritated by his lack of responsibility on his technology upkeep.

Shiro had always been a model student in his class, but for some reason he’d been lacking in the past week. His third year was off to a rough start in comparison to his previous years, both in terms of technology and his ability to pay attention in class. His things kept breaking and his mind was foggy, making him zone-out during lectures and even once during a flight simulation. He always recovered quickly enough, but he could tell from the small downward quirk of Instructor Con’s mouth that the man had noticed.

Shaking the thoughts of his past week from his mind, Shiro made his way out of the building and toward the IT Center. It wasn’t very far away, only a ten minute walk, so he would hopefully be able to get his laptop checked in sooner rather than later. If all went well, he wondered if he’d maybe get it back that night.

Unfortunately, Shiro’s plans of keeping up with his class were crushed when he reached the IT Center. It was earlier in the day than the last two times he’d gone, and it seemed everyone else on campus with tech problems had decided to go on the same day, at the same time as Shiro. A long line stretched out the door, and Shiro was dead last. He sighed for the fourth time in fifteen minutes as he slowed to a stop behind a girl with at least ten piercings in her face alone. They suited her, but Shiro didn’t understand why people would scar themselves intentionally like that. If he could make even just the scar on his nose vanish, he’d do it without hesitating.

As Shiro waited, he observed the rest of the students. Most of them carried fancy new phones and laptops, some with cracked screens or the legendary blue screen of death. A few others had black screened, totally dead lumps of useless metal like Shiro’s. The demographic of the students was similar as well, most of the students dressed in a hipster style with gelled and curled hair. It made Shiro feel out of place, or at least more out of place than usual.

The sound of a familiar voice caught Shiro’s attention, and he looked up at the counter and saw Matt raising his hand to signal the next person in line. The young man met the approaching woman with a smile, taking the computer that she held out and launching into a simple round of questions about the issue. His hands were careful with the technology, slim fingers nimbly searching for ports and screws as he listened to a description of the problem.

Shiro couldn’t hear much from where he stood, but he managed to hear a light chuckle escape the boy, and it made his lips twitch into a smile. He suddenly found himself wishing that it was him up at the counter, talking to Matt and making him laugh. He wanted that bright smile to be turned in his direction.

‘ _Shiro no, what are you even thinking about you barely know this guy. Just because he was nice to you doesn’t mean he’s your friend or anything, it is literally his JOB to be nice to people,’_ Shiro thought, mentally slapping himself. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking for a friend on campus, given the closest thing he had to one was his cat. Eurus was great, but she wasn’t a human who could walk around campus with him and talk with him. One-sided conversations got awkward, and if anyone ever heard him talking to his cat, he’d definitely go from just ‘scar-face’ to both that and ‘the crazy-cat-dude’.

The line inched forward bit by bit, and Shiro slowly moved into the room. With each stressed college student who passed him on their way out, he got closer to the counter. He was able to see that the counter was also manned by an older man with salt and pepper hair and small glasses, as well as a curly-haired Latina with a cheerful smile that seemed infectious, kind of like Matt’s. The two, as well as Matt, were working quickly to get through the line, jotting down notes on notepads and writing names on plastic baggies. Laptops, phones, and even a small television filled the shelves behind the counter, which were already loaded with tech. It made Shiro wonder how the people running the place would even be able to fix it all, which led to the man dreading how long it might take for his laptop to be fixed.

Luckily for Shiro, when he reached the front of the line, Matt was finishing up with his customer. The boy took a dead-screened phone from a kind-looking black woman with wavy white hair and gentle eyes that made Shiro’s chest tingle. She was quite beautiful. The woman turned and left, catching Shiro’s gaze as she did so. Unlike most people, who looked away cringed, she gave him a friendly smile before going on her way. It made the aviation student’s heart a little warmer.

“Back for round two?” Matt asked as he waved Shiro over. Shiro shook his head and smiled weakly.

“This time it’s the laptop. It started to turn on, but then everything suddenly stopped and it shut off. Now I can’t even get it to start,” he explained. Matt nodded, taking the laptop and opening it up. He pressed the power button, then leaned in to listen for the fans.

“Is there any chance the battery ran out?”

“I charge it every night, and the charger hasn’t failed me since I got it.”

Matt scribbled something on a notepad, then stuck it on the laptop. He then wrote Shiro’s name on the top of a second one before looking up at the man.

“Can I have a contact number? It’s hard to tell how long the fix will take, especially since we have quite the pile over there,” the boy said, gesturing with his head toward the shelves behind him. Shiro nodded and recited his cell phone number. “And would you prefer the notification for pick up to be by call or text?” Matt asked. Shiro paused to contemplate.

“Uh, text please,” he decided. That would be the best option in case the notification came while he was in class. Plus, the ringer on his phone didn’t always work and he didn’t want to miss the call.

“Okay. We’ll let you know when your laptop is ready,” Matt said, picking up the device after sticking the second note on it. He turned to drop the things off on the shelf, but Shiro stopped him.

“Before I go, I have an a video to watch for an assignment, but I can’t play it on my phone. Is there anywhere I can rent a computer or something?” Shiro asked. Matt turned back and nodded.

“Downstairs through the second door on the left from the main entrance is a computer lab. It’s open to anyone unless a professor reserves it, but that one is a bit older and usually doesn’t see much use. I recommend going there. All you have to do is sign in to the computer using your student login, then you can do whatever homework you need,” he explained, attempting to gesture with his hands but failing due to the burden he was carrying.

“Okay, thanks. Uh, good luck with all the, uh,” Shiro stopped, motioning to the shelves. Matt let out an amused chuckle.

“Thank you. See you later, Mr. Shirogane,” the boy said.

“Just, uh, Shiro is fine,” Shiro said before he could stop himself. His face felt a little warm at the slip, but he tried his best to ignore it. Matt smiled, a warm smile that was a little different than the bright and polite one he usually wore.

“See you, Shiro.”

Shiro walked out of the room barely containing a small grin. His mind replayed the chuckle he’d heard, the one that resulted from him and his words, and it made him smile a little wider. Maybe he could try to be friends with Matt after all.


	6. A Slow Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! I know it has been a long time since my last update, but like I said, updates could take anywhere from two-four weeks due to my schedule. (A little explanation here -->) I'm a high school and college student, and I work part-time, so I'm extremely busy. I'm currently in the middle of exams at my high school and the first week of the spring semester at my college, so I'm extremely short on time. I realize this chapter is short, but I wrote it shortly after publishing the last one to have it done in advance so I could post it this month while still having time for all of the work I need to do. So I'm sorry about the slow, short updates, but I promise I'm not losing motivation. I plan to continue writing this story until it is finished, it's just a bit difficult to get done. Thank you to everyone who continues to follow the story and read the chapters. It really means a lot to me, and despite how short and slow this chapter is (as the title suggests, it is a bit of a filler/transition chapter) I hope you like it :)

Over the next few days, Shiro’s life went a bit smoother. The fog in his mind had mysteriously lifted, leaving his brain sharp and his reflexes even sharper. It was good timing too, because they were starting to work with the actual planes that week. However, there were no lone flights yet. Those would start after everyone did a flight with an instructor and showed that they hadn’t gotten rusty over the summer break. Instead, they were doing refreshers over controls and basic maintenance.

The end of classwork for the time being was a lucky break for Shiro, since he didn’t have his laptop. That didn’t do him much good in his other classes, but it was his flight classes that he wanted to be most impressive in. Those took priority.

“On Monday we start flights. For now, finish assembling your kits, then you are dismissed,” Instructor Con announced. It was the end of the Friday class, meaning the students had their weekend ahead of them, and most of them didn’t want to stay a minute longer. However, half of them were struggling with their engine kits, and wouldn’t finish for at least another half hour. The other half were in various stages of completion. Among them was Shiro, who was just finishing with a few screws. His eyes caught movement to his left, and he looked up to see Instructor Holt approaching.

“You sure know what you’re doing. Are you a mechanics minor?” the older man asked. Shiro nodded.

“You never know when you’ll have to fix something yourself, so I thought mechanics might be a good minor. I also like fixing things, even though I’m not very good at it. With enough practice, assembly gets pretty easy, though. It’s kind of the same with a lot of smaller engines,” he explained. A small smile crept across his face as he spoke, unable to control the little jolt of happiness that went through him as he finished. Mechanics wasn’t his strong suit, but being able to fix things was pretty important for just about anyone. It was especially important since his tech seemed to want to break every day, and pretty soon he would run out of money and not be able to afford the IT center. Their prices were actually pretty good, but Shiro was living on pensions, and they only stretched so far between him and his brother back home.

“I see. My son does a lot of fixing things too, and he’s pretty good at it. Maybe he can give you a few pointers,” Instructor Holt offered with a chuckle. Shiro nodded. It would be nice to get some outside help, since the people in his classes weren’t very open to talking to him, let alone working with him.

Instructor Holt stood around for a few more moments as Shiro finished up his project, then the man turned and moved on to another student nearby, who was putting her last piece on her engine. Shiro watched him go as he wiped his hands on a rag and cleaned up, then he took his engine into the storage room and left the class.

Shiro’s mechanics class was in a building a good twenty minutes away, and his class started in half an hour. It left him with little time for food, so he stopped at a vending machine on his way and bought Gatorade and a few granola bars.

When Shiro reached his class, he dropped his bag under a metal table in the corner and picked up a pair of safety glasses from a bin near the door. They were one of the larger pairs, and fortunately fit his face perfectly. A few times he’d shown up late and been stuck with a pair of glasses that barely squeezed onto his face and left welts on the sides of his head for a whole day. Of course, no one bothered to trade with him, not even someone with a smaller face who had glasses that were just a smidge too big. They found him weird, creepy, broody, and ugly. A few students had even said he looked like an old man with his grey and white hair when they thought he was out of earshot. Fortunately he wasn’t outright bullied, but he guessed the only reason for that was his scars and his large, muscular build, which tended to intimidate most people.

“Okay everyone, today we’ll be working on…” The professor began to explain the lesson, and Shiro focused all his attention on listening. He hung on to every word, searching for tips on how to get better and what not to do. When the professor pulled a broken, rusty Harley-Davidson motorcycle from the junk lot outside, a small smile curved his lips. If Keith was there, the boy would have lost it. Shiro’s brother loved motorcycles, and seeing one in such poor condition would surely send him stomping and yelling about lazy people and disrespect for such a beautiful invention.

The task for the day was for the class to identify as many issues with the bike as possibly without taking it apart or touching it too much, since it was a bit frail. Whoever came up with the most would get extra credit, then each student would be assigned a part to fix. They would all repair the bike as a group effort, and be graded on their specific pieces. That would let the professor know who needed more practice and who could move on to fixing larger vehicles.  
Shiro searched the bike over and over, thinking about all the things Keith always talked about and all the things he had learned in his classes so far. He knew the bike had a lot wrong with it, so when his list stopped at five problems, he didn’t hesitate to look again.

In the end, Shiro came up with eleven issues. The winner of the extra credit found fourteen issues, but Shiro wasn’t upset about not finding everything. Sure he wasn’t great, but he was doing better than his previous year, and that was something. He kept that in mind as he was assigned his part, and worked on it quickly but carefully. By the time class ended that day, he knew he at least had a chance of passing the repair test.

On his way back to his dorm, Shiro got a text from the IT Center. It stated that his laptop was ready for pick up, and the hours of the center were attached to it. Most days they were open from 9am-9pm, but Saturdays and Sundays they were closed, and they closed at 5pm on Fridays. It was 5:20pm.

With a sigh, Shiro set a notification on his phone to pick up his laptop Monday morning.


	7. Close Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter has more focus on Shiro and his insecurity over his arm. I understand there is has been little interaction between Matt and Shiro so far, but this will definitely be a slow-moving relationship. In this story, Shiro and Matt are both meant to be people with a little bit of history. I didn't want them to have some instant head-over-heels moment as soon as they meet or a few days after they first meet. This isn't just some love story, rather it is more like a story about growth in which the relationship between Matt and Shiro will play a fairly large role. That being said, I am making sure Matt and Shiro do continue to have interactions, because while the story is about Shiro, Matt is also very important and will be incorporated more as he and Shiro get to know each other better. I hope you all understand.   
> As a side note, I wanted to thank you guys for understanding my reasons for slow updates and for sticking with the story. I just keep getting busier, and while my updates have fallen to a monthly output, they will not stop. I will continue writing, and do not plan to make my updates any less frequent than they currently are. I really do hope you guys like the story, and if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment. I will do my best to answer them as long as it won't result in spoilers for later parts of the story.

Saturday morning, Shiro went for a run again. He got up early at 6am and took to the sidewalk. With his headphones in and workout clothes on, he was off. He had worn a long-sleeve shirt like usual, but had left his black leather gloves on his dresser. It was early, so not many people would be out. It also didn’t get very bright until about 7:30am, so no one would notice his grotesque right hand unless they got close and took a long look.

Beneath Shiro’s feet, the sidewalk was solid and assuring. He’d woken up after another bad dream, one he couldn’t quite comprehend. It felt hot, like he was on fire, but he felt no pain. All there had been was an uncomfortable tingle. His vision had been a blurry mess of red and black, flashes of light exploding in the distance. His hearing was muffled to the point that he could barely tell one sound from another. He thought he’d heard shouting and screaming, but he wasn’t quite sure. It was dreams like those that he hated the most.

The crystal clear nightmares that often struck him made him jolt upright in bed, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it would burst, while the vague dreams left him confused. Sometimes he could fall asleep again after a nightmare if he laid down long enough, and other times he just closed his eyes and tried to think about something else while staying put. On the other hand, he couldn’t stay in bed after a vague dream. They left him feeling disoriented and detached from his body, as if he had woken from one dream only to be inside of another. Nothing seemed to be able to ground him after one of those, not even the pain from digging his nails into the flesh of his palms and forearms, a method he used to ground himself during his more severe panic attacks. It was for that reason that he’d decided to go for a run in the first place, since the rhythm and solid ground under his feet helped to slowly pull his mind back into his body.

 As time passed, Shiro was relieved to feel the fuzziness in his mind disappearing. He let out a sigh of relief when he took a short water break an hour in, finally able to think. When he started jogging again, he let his thoughts wander. It was a habit of his, letting himself go. He could jog for hours while just letting his thoughts drift, and he’d only notice his sore muscles and heaving lungs when he came to his senses at the end of it. The drifting during his runs also covered him in a blanket of calm, as his mind tended to go to the memories of flying, the few memories of skydiving, and the years before of standing on the open plane of a runway, feeling the wind slide through his bangs and tickle his scalp. The feeling of wind as he ran wasn’t nearly as strong as in the skydiving memories or as serene as standing on a runway, but it was enough to at least call the wisps of the memories to the surface of his mind. Those memories were the things he loved in a world that seemed to hate him.

 As the sun rose above the horizon and the world began to be illuminated, Shiro turned in the direction of his dorm. He was going a bit slower than before, doing the end of his run as a cooldown, but had to change course a few time to avoid the other students who slowly began to fill the sidewalks. When he saw someone coming on his sidewalk, he’d veer off onto another and move back on course after he passed them. By the time he reached his building, morning classes were starting, and the students were leaving their dorms and heading off with coffee cups and energy drinks in hand.

Shiro narrowly avoided running into one of the guys who lived next door when he passed the guy’s door just as he was leaving his room. Shiro called out a quiet apology and pretended to scratch his left shoulder with his right hand as he stuck his key in his lock with his left hand, hoping his neighbor wouldn’t look back and see his exposed right hand.

When he entered his dorm, Shiro quickly pulled the door shut behind himself to separate himself from the world. He slumped against the door and let out the breath he’d been holding since he came upon his building and found the outside crawling with students. His right hand twitched at his side and he clenched it into a fist, conscious of the fact that anyone could have seen it. A look at his phone revealed that it was 8:30am, half an hour later than he’d planned to be out. He cursed himself for not paying better attention to the time, especially when he wasn’t wearing his gloves.

Needing to calm down a little after the close encounter with his neighbor, Shiro looked for Eurus. The cat was asleep in the middle of his unmade bed, and she yawned and looked up when Shiro called her. Shiro smiled and scratched her chin, then ran his hand over the silky fur around her ears to flatten what stuck up from her nap.

Eurus purred and leaned into Shiro’s hand, then turned her head to sniff him. She quickly recoiled and gave Shiro an annoyed look that made him smile.

“I guess I should probably take a shower,” he said, catching the hint. Eurus proceeded to lay her head back down on the bed and close her eyes, a clear end to the conversation that made Shiro shake his head and smirk.

_'Wow Shiro, no wonder no one likes you. Even your cat just rejected you,’_ he thought to himself. It was a lighthearted joke to himself, because he knew that Eurus did in fact like him, she just did not enjoy his presence when he was smelly and drenched in sweat from a run. However, the more he thought about it, the more it was true a thought to seem very funny.

A cold feeling blossomed in Shiro’s chest and the smile slipped from his face as he dug around his dresser for some fresh clothes. He balled the clothes up in his hands and headed for the bathroom, giving Eurus a small smile when he noticed that she was watching him, perceptive of his emotions as always.

Shiro showered quickly, a habit he’d made in the military and never quite kicked. He scrubbed his hair and washed up in just three minutes, then emerged from the bathroom two minutes later with his poof of white hair combed and fresh clothes on; his dirty ones were left in a hamper in the corner of his room.

Shiro stood next to his dresser and glanced at his phone as he used a hand towel to carefully wipe away extra water from his right arm. The metal wouldn’t rust even if he didn’t; it would have to be submerged in water for weeks straight for that to happen at all, but the better he took care of it, the less he’d have to worry about pieces being compromised and needing replacements. His arm was already an experimental mix of flesh and a metal prosthetic, something that had been done in an attempt to allow him to keep full function of his right arm instead of losing what remained and getting a prosthetic that he wouldn’t be able to move like a flesh limb. It made Shiro’s life easier, since he could do all of the things he had always done with his right hand, but the mix of skin and metal stood out more than a prosthetic and he was very conscious of it. In the past, he never would have thought he’d have any insecurities past wondering if his flying skills were good enough for his rank. He never would have guessed that he would be wearing long sleeves and leather gloves every day to hide an entire limb from sight.

Shiro dropped his hand towel on his dresser when he finished drying his arm, then, still uneasy from the events of his early morning, pulled on a long-sleeved shirt and his familiar leather gloves to cover his arm.

Lacking anything productive to do over his weekend, Shiro flopped face-down on his bed and pulled out his phone. He had downloaded a movie a few days earlier but never had the time to watch it due to his classes. Since he finally had a day to kill, he pulled it up, turning up his volume loud enough to hear the audio clearly. He would have preferred to watch the movie on a bigger screen, but his laptop was a no go, so his phone would have to do.

A few minutes into the movie, Shiro felt a weight on his back between his shoulder blades and turned around to see Eurus standing on him. She kneaded the spot with her paws for a moment before laying down and licking her shoulder contentedly. Shiro smiled at the sight before turning back to his movie.

-000-

After two and a half hours of bad jokes, zombies, and dramatic reunions, the credits rolled on the screen of Shiro’s phone. He closed the tab and returned to his home screen, which was a random picture of a sleek jet. The sight always set a pang of longing through him as he remembered his own jet, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to change it. Other than the memories of his team and flying, the only important things he had in the world were Eurus and Keith, but his brother hated pictures. The only way Shiro had managed to get any was by sneaking them, and they tended to end up blurry. One of the few good ones he had was his lock screen, a picture of Keith asleep on the couch back home, cuddled up with Eurus. It always made Shiro smile, even on his worst days, though he had to switch the picture at home in case Keith picked up his phone because he knew the boy would delete it.

Checking his messages, Shiro found none from Keith. His brother had called him every few nights and sent a few texts during the day since Shiro left for college, but for the most part he was busy with school and work. Keith was in his senior year of high school and bused tables at a local family restaurant. In Shiro’s absence he was looked after by his friend Lance McClain, a barista at the coffee shop next to the restaurant who Keith claimed to hate despite them being friends. However, Shiro had seen them in the time when they weren’t arguing over something stupid like who could clean dishes the fastest, and he knew there was no true hate between them. The two were closer than Shiro had ever been with anyone, and Lance was a good guy. If not for the fact that Keith was too dense to recognize any emotions but anger and annoyance from others, and the fact that Lance had crushing insecurities that made him think he wasn’t good enough for anyone, the two would be totally inseparable.

With a deep breath, Shiro pushed himself upright to sit on his bed, and Eurus jumped off his back as he started to rise to avoid falling. She let out an annoyed meow and Shiro reached out to pet her apologetically before checking the time. It was almost noon and he’d hadn’t had breakfast, but he didn’t feel comfortable about leaving his room again yet. However, he didn’t have a microwave or any pans for cooking on the stove in his dorm, let alone anything to cook. The minifridge in the kitchen was empty except for an untouched bottle of whiskey and some bottled water, and his cupboard contained nothing but a box of granola bars. Shiro cringed when he spotted the whiskey in the refrigerator, and he shut the door quickly. He wasn’t much of an alcohol person, but sometimes he needed it when he was a little to stressed or when the nightmares wouldn’t let him sleep without some help.

Knowing that actual food wouldn’t appear on the counter no matter how long he stared at it, Shiro returned to his bedroom for his ID and phone. He stopped in the other room to feed Eurus and glanced at his hands and rubbed his fingers together to assure himself through visual, audio, and somatosensory confirmation that he really was wearing his gloves, then headed out to get food from the cafeteria.


	8. Chance Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys I'm back with another chapter! This one is longer than my typical updates, which always seem to be about 2000 words, but you guys deserve it. Unfortunately the wave of work I have been stuck with has only grown and not at all subsided, but I was able to write a bit during a few hours of free time and have found time to upload. I decided I should update in honor of s5, because is was great (*KIND OF SPOILER ALERT I THINK* I do hope to write a one-shot about Keith's mom leaving him years ago if I have the time and if anyone is interested). Anyway I hope you guys enjoy the update and look forward to more of Life is a Flight :)

The day was hotter than most days in the fall typically were, and Shiro found himself wishing he could wear a short-sleeved shirt and take off his gloves. Anxiety of what could happen if anyone saw his arm kept him from doing so, especially after the close call he’d had that morning, but there were some days when it was just too hot for him to not at least think about it. It didn’t help that the bright rays from the sun were blinding to Shiro after having spent two and a half hours watching a movie in a darkened room, and he didn’t have any sunglasses. He just hoped that the weather would change soon, possibly clouding the sun over a bit and cooling the temperature to something a little more bearable.

Squinting his eyes against the light, Shiro dropped his gaze to the pavement and continued walking, using his memory to take the right path to the cafeteria. A few times he almost bumped into people, but he kept his head down and kept going. It wasn’t until the building came into sight that he actually did run into someone, or more accurately, the two ran into each other. 

“Oh, ah, sorry.”

Two voices muttered the same phrase, and Shiro’s gaze leaped from the sidewalk to a familiar face. Matt stood in front of him, one of his hands hovering over the phone he held as he tried to see the screen in the bright mid-day sunlight. His eyes met Shiro’s and he smiled, dropping his arm to his side and slipping the phone into his pocket.

“Hey, Shiro. I was just heading to the cafeteria. Sorry about that,” the boy said, tilting his head back to look Shiro in the eyes with a polite smile. However, he was squinting, and he lowered his gaze after just a moment as the sun blazed unforgivingly in his eyes.

Noticing Matt’s struggle, Shiro discreetly shifted to the side a little to block the sun from the young man’s direct line of vision as he did his best to school his features and return his expression to something more neutral, relaxing his tense posture a bit and attempting a smile in return.

“Oh, uh, so am I,” he stated lamely, not sure exactly what to say.

In the IT Center, Shiro didn’t need to talk much. He only had to ask and answer questions, then he could listen to Matt explain what was wrong with the device, how it’s fixed, and a bunch of other stuff he didn’t understand. Shiro had no idea what he was supposed to talk about outside the IT center though, and wasn’t sure if bringing up the place and asking about all the problems people were having was an interesting conversational topic or not.

“Do you want to eat with me then? I usually go with other people from the Center, but none of them are there today because it’s the weekend,” Matt offered.

“Sure.” Shiro replied awkwardly after a moment, his brain slowly attempting to process the fact that someone was actually offering to casually hang around him, something he hadn’t experienced since he was in the military. 

The pair resumed walking, this time side by side. Matt didn’t pull out the phone again, but he also didn’t speak. Shiro was silent as well, still unsure of what to talk about, or even if they should talk.

“So, why are you at the IT Center today? Aren’t you guys closed?” Shiro asked after a moment, deciding to take a chance with a question. Matt rubbed his neck a bit sheepishly.

“Yeah. We close on weekends because there are only about five students who work at the Center along with the professor, and it assures that we all get some time off to do what we want or need to do. I don’t have much stuff to do though, and since we’re pretty busy right now I’m trying to fix as much stuff as I can in case we get more during the week. People will lose faith in us if we take two weeks to fix their tech,” he explained. Shiro frowned.

“Why don’t you go out with friends or something?” he asked. Matt shook his head.

“All the IT Center people are out with their other friends, so I don’t have anyone to hang out with right now. I kind of prefer working with the tech all day, though,” he said. Shiro nodded.

The two fell into a relatively comfortable silence, their gazes ahead as they entered the cafeteria building. They worked their way through the clusters of students until they reached the line, where they each picked up a meal. They then emerged from the line and scanned the rows of tables and booths in search of an empty one. Shiro spotted one in the back corner and nudged Matt’s arm before gesturing with his head. The two walked quickly across the room, skirting the occupied tables and the bags that littered the floor until they reached the empty booth. They claimed the table with their trays and slid into the seats across from each other, then dug into their hamburgers.

“This phone is making me hate life more than your average student,” Matt said a few minutes into his meal when an obnoxious ringtone suddenly blared from his pocket. He pulled a sleek white iPhone from his pocket and set it on the table, poking at the screen until it quieted. Fortunately, the room was very loud, so no one seemed to have noticed.

“Is it yours?” Shiro asked, crumpling up the wrapper of the burger he’d just finished. Matt shook his head.

“Someone brought it in because the ringtone keeps going off at full volume at random, and it was interrupting their sleep and classes. Technically I’m not supposed to take repairs out of the IT Center, but Professor Rift wants this thing gone. He said I could even take it home with me to work on as long as I can take care of it sooner rather than later. Thing is though, I couldn’t even fix it with a factory reset,” he explained, furrowing his brow and tapping at the screen a few times again. “Nothing’s wrong with the hardware, so it has to be the software, but the reset should have fixed that. I don’t know what’s going on,” he added. Shiro nodded.

“Can the professor fix it?” he asked. Matt shook his head again and sighed.

“He doesn’t want to hear this thing go off any more than he has to. If he knew how to fix it, if _any_ of us knew how to fix it, then I wouldn’t be sitting here doing the same thing over and over in hopes that it will actually work,” he pointed out. “My younger sister is trying to figure it out at home. She likes building and fixing stuff too, and she’s probably going to be better than me in a few years. I’m sure we can take care of this soon,” he said. “I hope,” he tagged on quietly to himself.

Shiro watched Matt as the boy tapped away at the phone, his fingers flying across the screen. It was hypnotizing in a way, the motions seemingly repetitive when in reality he was doing something just a little different each time. Shiro didn’t know he was staring until Matt’s hand stopped and the boy called his name once, then twice, then again, finally gaining Shiro’s attention and a startled twitch.

“You alright?” Matt asked, his head tilted to the side just slightly as his eyebrows furrowed ever so little in concern.

Shiro scrubbed his face with a gloved hand, half to bring himself back to reality and half to hide the slight color of embarrassment on his face.

“Just tired,” he responded, not entirely lying. He hadn’t exactly slept much the night before, and as a person who suffered from frequent nightmares on top of being a college student, sleep wasn’t exactly something he got a lot of on a regular basis. 

“Ah. I can relate,” Matt said with a small smile, giving up on the phone and sliding it back into his pocket. He then picked up his burger again and began to nibble at it, not quite hungry but knowing he needed the food because he hadn’t eaten yet that day.

The two lapsed into silence again and finished their food. When Shiro finished first, he found himself picking at his gloves while he waited for Matt get done. He noticed the young man staring at one point, but Matt never questioned him, which both relieved and disappointed Shiro. He hated when people asked him questions, such as why he never wore short sleeves, why he always wore gloves, where did he get the scar on his face, and if he dyed his hair. Despite that, part of him wanted Matt to ask. Part of him wanted to spill the details of his life to someone. Talking to others was nice sometimes, but the only people he was close enough to get personal with were Keith and Eurus, who wasn’t even a person, but a cat. Shiro could only wonder what it was about Matt that made him want to divulge secrets he’d carefully kept for years. Perhaps his kind nature and innocence? Or was it the fact that someone other than Shiro’s brother or his brother’s friends was being genuinely nice to him for the first time in years, and he was desperate to have a shoulder to lean on during his bad days rather than laying in his bed in the dark or drinking himself unconscious? It was hard to tell. On the other hand however, what would he do if Matt didn’t respond well? What if he lost the closest thing he’s had to a friend in his college career because Matt didn’t want anything to do with him? The tech student seemed to not mind Shiro’s appearance at all, but what if Shiro’s story turned him away? The thought made Shiro tense, a flower of cold dread blossoming in his chest. That single possibility alone was enough to completely quell his urge to open up at all.  

 Once Matt finished, the two vacated their table for other students to use and left the cafeteria. They walked together until they neared the IT Center, where Shiro stopped.

“I guess I’ll go back to my dorm. Good luck with the phone,” Shiro said. Matt nodded.

“Thank you. Oh, by the way, how’s your computer working? Professor Rift fixed it. He said it was hard because it was a little old, but it should work okay now,” Matt explained.

“Actually, I never got it back. I got the notification last night after you guys were already closed,” Shiro recalled. Matt sighed.

“That system is so slow; I need to make a new one. Do you want to pick up your laptop right now? Professor Rift won’t care as long as you don’t touch any of the tools or tech,” he offered.

Shiro’s eyes widened a fraction in surprise, and his brain took a moment to process the offer.

“Oh, uh… sure, I guess,” he stuttered awkwardly, causing him to mentally slap himself. He wasn’t usually so unsure of what to say or do, but Matt was far different in conversation than the temporary partners Shiro had dealt with for class projects. He was much more willing to talk and far more likely to catch Shiro off-guard with unexpected words and kindness. Matt was also a chance at making an actual friend in a world that rejected Shiro for his appearance and mind because they weren’t normal enough, and he was afraid he’d mess that up. At least Shiro wouldn’t have to worry about Matt turning his back on him over discomfort with the older man’s insecurities if he was already chased off by Shiro’s inability to hold a decent conversation.

Shiro had never had problems with socializing back in high school, during the time when he’d been popular and sporty with loads of friends who only ever talked about the same three things. Even in the military there had been so much required of him in conversation that he never had to think of something to say. It had been straightforward, simple. Immediately after his discharge, he’d worked to be the same social guy as in high school, but the rejection and isolation he faced due to his differences quickly sank in and he found himself being closed off from the world. His social skills had gone rusty after years of disuse, and he was suddenly in need of gears that wouldn’t turn.

Matt smiled and led the way without another word, and Shiro followed him into the building and up an unfamiliar staircase until they reached an unmarked white door. Matt stuck a key in the lock, twisted, and opened it up to reveal a room full of tools, equipment, and lots of tech. Laptops, cell phones, TVs, tablets, everything. It was all a bit stunning, and Shiro found himself stopping to take a look at everything in the room.

“Like I said, we’ve been busy,” Matt said, gesturing to all of the tech on his way to a desk in the corner. He took the phone out and left it there, then moved to the shelves and started digging around. He muttered names under his breath before pausing and humming a sound of success. “Here we go.” He reached into a stack and pulled out a blocky old laptop, carrying it to Shiro and handing it over. “Go ahead and try it out, then if it doesn’t work right you won’t have to walk all the way back here from your dorm,” he recommended.

Shiro nodded and opened the laptop, balancing it on one arm and hitting the power button with his free hand. He waited as the device slowly powered up, the screen lighting up and the fans whirring to life until his home screen appeared. He opened a few programs to make sure everything worked like it should, and found that the laptop was actually working better than he expected. It hadn’t run that smoothly since he first got it.

“Is it working okay?” Matt asked. Shiro nodded.

“Yeah, it works great. Thanks for letting me come in and get it today,” the man said, the relief in his voice evident. He had been dreading the scramble to get his laptop on Monday, knowing he would have had to wait in a long line during his precious few hours of free time. Now, the only issue he had left was the payment. “So what’s the fee?”

“The bill will get delivered to your dorm at the end of the week, and you can pay at the Administration Office. It used to be that students paid here, but during the spring semester last year a student working at the first aid center was found embezzling, so transactions can’t be done through student-run groups on campus anymore,” Matt explained, frowning as he spoke. He fiddled with a tablet he had picked off a shelf while Shiro was testing his laptop, and his fingers jabbed at the screen just a little too roughly when he mentioned the scandal from the previous semester.

Shiro tensed at the slight tone of anger he detected in Matt’s voice despite the fact that it wasn’t aimed at him at all. That was the first negative emotion he had seen Matt express in the week that he’d known him, and it was a bit unnerving.

As if sensing Shiro’s unease, Matt’s hand stopped as the boy looked up at Shiro. Matt studied him for a moment, then a gentle smile pulled at his lips. “Anyway, if there are any problems with your bill, you can drop by here and Professor Rift can take a look at it. Your computer didn’t need any new parts, so it shouldn’t be too expensive,” he said. As he spoke, Matt moved the tablet aside on his desk and picked a slim laptop off the shelf to work on.

Every shred of the negativity that had furrowed Matt’s brows and hardened his voice just moments ago had disappeared in an instant, and with it went Shiro’s discomfort. The tension in the aviation student’s muscles was washed away in a wave of calm, leaving Shiro feeling relaxed. It seemed there really was something about Matt that made Shiro feel so oddly comfortable in his presence, and it made Shiro curious. He wanted to know more about the boy, but at the same time, the clock on the wall was telling him he needed to go back to his dorm and feed Eurus.

“Alright. I’ll let you get back to your work, then, ” Shiro offered with a small smile as he folded up his laptop and tucked it under his good arm. He got a friendly smile and a wave from Matt before he headed for the door.

Shiro only made it a few steps before a sudden wave of courage hit him, fueling a reckless thought in the back of his mind. Before he could stop himself, he spun around and found himself meeting Matt’s gaze. The boy looked at him with curious eyes, his hands hovering over a mess of wires inside the disassembled laptop on his desk.

“Do you want to hang out sometime? Like, when I don’t have a device that I need someone from here to fix?” he asked, his tone a bit flat like he was possessed. He may as well have been, because he couldn’t think of any other reason why he was able to be so upfront.

Matt surprised Shiro by laughing. It was a quiet, giggle-like laugh that pulled his lips into a smile and crinkled the skin around his golden brown eyes.

“I don’t see why not,” he said, the smile on his face not the least bit forced. He held out his hand. “Let me see your phone for a minute.”

Shiro stepped forward and pulled his phone from his pocket, handing it to Matt. He didn’t understand why he boy was laughing, or why he wanted his phone, but he decided to just go with it because he didn’t have a clue of what to do next.

Matt tapped around on Shiro’s phone for a minute before turning it off and handing it back. Shiro accepted it and smiled a bit awkwardly, shoving the phone into his pocket and backing away.

“I guess I’ll see you later, then,” he said, then turned and left before he could burst into flames and burn in the raging inferno of his own social awkwardness.

As Shiro exited the building that held the IT Center, he took out his phone and turned it on. He opened up a few apps in search of what Matt had done, but couldn’t find anything. There were no new updates, nothing had been installed, and no recent apps appeared when he tapped the corner of his screen. Frowning, he pulled up his contacts to text Keith and ask how the boy was doing in school. It was then that he noticed a second contact on the almost-empty page. It was labeled Matt, but unlike Keith’s contact, there was no photo. It struck Shiro that Matt had taken his phone _to put his number in it_. Exchanging contact information hadn’t crossed Shiro’s mind once, not even after asking if Matt wanted to hang out sometime.

Shiro smacked himself in the temple and exited his contacts, fumbling for the power button with fingers that had sudden gotten shaky from a burst of excitement. He clicked the button once, then twice, and his lock screen showed up. It occurred to him that he had no password, so anyone who got a hold of his phone could get into it. He hadn’t cared before, since his only personal information was Keith’s contact. However, he wasn’t so sure about just leaving his phone open to the world anymore. Keith would never answer a text or pick up a call if he didn’t recognize the number, but Shiro didn’t know about Matt. In his head, Shiro made a note to put a password on his phone later that day.

Somehow, Shiro wasn’t surprised that night when he found that he couldn’t sleep at all from the tingle of excitement in his veins. After two lonely years he had finally made his first friend in college, and it was a kind, beautiful, smart guy from the IT Center.


	9. Hammer of Courage... and Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! I actually managed to get a few more chapters written over spring break. I didn't get loads done, because a lot of my time I spent getting dragged around with family, but i got about 4 more chapters written. I'll see about posting another in about two weeks since I'm ahead, and next month I may be able to jump down to two week intervals for posting instead of monthly ones because my college semester ends in the beginning of May. Thank you to everyone who had stuck with the story so far, I'm really glad to have you guys. Your kudos and comments have been very motivating, and I plan to keep writing even when I don't have much time. 
> 
> WARNING: There is a rather minor head injury in this chapter, and while it may seem a bit silly to some that I'm putting out a warning, I am aware that sometimes that's all it takes. For anyone who may be negatively affected by any descriptions of blood or head wounds even if it is short and minor, or anyone who simply would like to skip those descriptions, these are the places to look out for:  
> -When the person messing around with tools picks up a hammer, skip from that spot to 7 paragraphs later.  
> -When Shiro arrives at his dorm, skip to the next paragraph  
> Those spaces will allow any of you to skip over and mentions of blood completely  
> *These spaces also allow any of you to skip over a minor flashback episode. I know I haven't really warned about those, but I feel I should start doing that. If anyone has any concerns about parts of earlier chapters that I should post warnings about, feel free to leave a comment and I will edit the notes of the chapter to include a warning. This also goes for any tags that really should be added. I haven't really added many because I don't want an extremely long, messy section of tags, but I'm open to adding warning tags if necessary.

Matt and Shiro didn’t see each other for a week after their run-in at the cafeteria. The two were busy with classes, homework, and in Matt’s case, the IT Center. There wasn’t much communication at all between them, since only Matt had given his number to Shiro and not vice versa, and Shiro couldn’t quite build up the courage to send a text. Anxiety deep within his gut told him that something would happen and Matt wouldn’t be the person on the other end. It told him Matt might’ve mistyped while entering his number, or that his sister was playing on his phone and would be the one holding it when the message went through. The fear made Shiro wait days to text Matt, not even daring to open the contact until Friday, when his mechanics class went horribly sour.

The professor had assigned a workshop during which the students would split into groups and each group would receive a large, scrambled toolbox which they were to organize in a way that would make it easier for them to find the tools they needed. The test was supposedly an introduction into the next unit, where students would start working on broken-down cars that were donated to the university over time. The cars were reused every year, as the professors of the mechanics classes would scramble the parts of the vehicles and purposely create problems with them, then task their students with fixing them.

The organization of the toolboxes wasn’t exactly a proper lesson, despite what the professors all tried to prove. It was no secret that the toolboxes for car repairs would always end up in a mess at the end of each semester, and all the students knew that the professors would rather jump off the tallest building on campus than spend their time organizing them. To avoid that, the professors would make the organization into an ‘assignment’ and claim that the students needed to organize the toolboxes specific to them and their preferred set-ups so they could work more efficiently. That wasn’t entirely false, but the impact was played up quite steeply.  

Regardless of how bullshit everyone knew the assignment was, they did it anyway, as it was an easy A that many would desperately need in order to hold onto a passing grade later in the semester.

After the assignment was given, students immediately began to group up around the toolboxes. There was no limitation given on how many people could be in a group, since multiple groups would be working on the same car, and everyone would be graded for their abilities individually. Due to that, groups of friends numbering seven to eight occupied a few toolboxes, earning a look of slight disappointment from the professor.

As everyone joined up with their friends, Shiro made his way to a nearby toolbox with no one around it. As expected, no one came to join him, not even the other loners, who stepped up to join the other small groups in the room.

By the time everyone stood at a toolbox, every group numbered at least three people, bar Shiro’s, which was him alone. The professor called for everyone to start, then discreetly made his way over to Shiro as the students dove in.

“Shirogane?”

Shiro looked up from the drawer he was emptying to meet eyes with the professor, who had a slight look of concern on his face. “Hey, Professor,” he greeted with a polite smile.

The professor returned a weak grin that was more forced than the relationships in the cheesy romance movies Shiro had been tricked into watching by his brother’s friend Lance. The older man looked a bit pained, and his lips twitched as he pondered what to say.

“Are you alright with working alone, Shirogane? I know you aren’t much of a socializer, but if you want someone to help you out I can talk to a few of the other students-“ he began, only to be silenced by a dismissive wave by Shiro.

“That’s okay, sir. The people in this class aren’t exactly enamored by me, but that’s alright. Like you said, I’m not much of a socializer. I’ll be fine,” he assured, hoping the calm, confident tone he was faking didn’t sound as strained as his voice felt. It wasn’t like he was lying, per say. He personally wasn’t very fond of most of his classmates, just as they weren’t very fond of him. However, the cold numbness of rejection was a far-too-familiar weight in his chest that made his lungs feel a little too tight.  

“You sure?” the professor asked, his reluctance to leave Shiro by himself uncomfortably blatant. The professor cared about his students, and it pained him to see someone like Shiro so isolated. The man knew Shiro was very polite and well-mannered, and he always felt extreme malcontent at his student’s ostracization.

“Yes, sir,” Shiro replied. He nodded his head toward the group at the next toolbox over, just about five feet away. “Besides, I won’t get bored having to listen to that group over there,” he joked, though he was sure to let a little of his exasperation into his light tone.

The professor smiled again and nodded, finally backing down. He watched Shiro for another moment before nodding again and turning away to go check on the other groups.

With the professor gone, Shiro sighed silently and got back to work. He liked his professor, but he wished the man wouldn’t try so hard. Shiro had had an English professor in his first year who was very similar to his current mechanics one, a person who encouraged bonding with classmates and group work. They had tried to put Shiro into groups on multiple occasions and would approach the group upon noticing Shiro being isolated, wanting to get the other students to be more inviting toward him. Somehow that just made Shiro feel worse, as back then he had still been in the process of learning that other people didn’t like that he was different. Watching students turn annoyed glares from the professor to Shiro made his gut clench with embarrassment and his heart freeze in despair. There was something painful about needing an authority figure to make others stick around him for any amount of time, and all the professor’s efforts had done was make Shiro feel worse. The feeling had been hard for him to ever put a label on, which made it difficult to talk about, and that difficulty made him clam up. When Keith would ask if he was alright, Shiro would simply walk away without saying a word. He’d spent his autumn break during his first semester and the winter break between his first and second semesters locked in his room back home almost all day every day, struggling to breath with the heavy exhaustion of the mountains he was still struggling to conquer and the new ones that stretched out ahead of him.

Shiro shook his head and banished his thoughts. His first year in college had been a very dark time in his life, definitely one he didn’t want to look back on for multiple reasons. Even Keith never mentioned it, despite how closed-off Shiro had been to him starting from the day of the man’s discharge from the military all the way until the middle of summer after his first full year of college. Shiro had gotten much better since then, and he had no intention to linger on the old thoughts and memories he’d worked so hard to put behind him.

Setting to work, Shiro pulled all the messy drawers from his toolbox and dumped their contents into the largest drawer, which was more of a bin that pulled out from the bottom of the box. He recognized it as a storage area for large tools, something he might use once in awhile in his class, but wouldn’t need any time soon. The space was empty and likely would remain that way, since the bigger pieces of equipment were usually relatively expensive, which made universities hesitant to place them in the hands of students without an instructor supervising.

Taking a quick inventory of his tools, Shiro thought about the best way to organize them. There wasn’t nearly enough drawers for every single type of tool to have its own space, but he didn’t need that much storage. Similar tools could go in similar drawers, smaller ones like screwdrivers in the tiniest drawers at the top and bigger ones like hammers in the largest drawers near the bottom. He would keep the different kinds of tools separated within the drawers they shared, taking care not to mix his Phillips screwdrivers with the flatheads. He also decided to organize them by size, a common tactic that some toolboxes required when they were made with specific molds in the metal for specific tools. While his toolbox was a simple one containing no specific molds, sorting by size would make it much easier for him to find what he needed while working later in the semester.

As Shiro worked, he drowned out the world around him. His mind was on nothing but the tools in front of him, carefully holding a mental image of how he was organizing his things as he worked so he wouldn’t accident sort the same kind of tool into two different places. The focus made him work quickly and efficiently, but it left him oblivious to the outside world. It wasn’t long before he got a firsthand lesson about a rule his professor had told the class on day one; always pay attention to what your peers are swinging around.

The rowdy group just feet from Shiro was likely the least efficient of all the groups in the class. When Shiro was almost done organizing, they had barely put away three tools. They were too busy swinging the tools around, pretending the wrenches were swords and they were knights. Despite how often the professor yelled at them, they resumed their fooling around almost immediately after every scolding.

One of the boys in the group in particular was doing anything _but_ work. He had his eyes locked on a girl across the room, who smiled at him when he pretended to fling a wrench like a throwing knife. The boy was off in his own world trying to make the girl laugh, and didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to Shiro during his antics until he was pretending to be Thor as he hefted a rather large forked hammer in the air – and struck Shiro right in the head.

Shiro stumbled to the side, his hand flying up as pain exploded in his temple. Across the room the professor looked up when the student he was speaking to froze, and the man’s expression went from the kind one he used when explaining something, to shock, then to anger in mere seconds. He stormed across the room, glaring at the boy who held the hammer. The student was stiff and pale, his eyes wide with fear as they flickered between Shiro and the enraged professor. The professor gave the boy a look that promised hell, then his expression slipped into a more gentle look as he slowly approached Shiro.

“Shirogane? Are you okay?” he asked, moving glacier-slow as he sent a hand on Shiro’s shoulder with a butterfly-light touch. Shiro ripped his shoulder away, his eyes wide and wild. He saw not the professor, but a masked man with a metal pipe, an old memory from years ago. That was only for a moment though, and as the initial shock from the pain in his forehead faded and gave his mind a moment of clarity, he was able to see what was really in front of him.

“Yeah,” Shiro responded after taking a breath to calm his racing heart and assure his panicked mind that he was safe, fighting to keep a straight face despite the deep throb in his temple. He could feel the slick of blood beneath his gloved fingers, and when he pulled his hand away to check the bleeding, a heavy droplet slid right into his eyelashes. Shiro cringed at the sensation, pressing his hand firmly to the wound to stem the bleeding.

“Are you _sure_?” the professor asked, his eyes asking the question he didn’t voice aloud; _Is your mind okay?_ Shiro’s professors didn’t know much of the backstory, but they knew he suffered from PTSD. They were aware that he might tense up from contact, react badly to certain sounds and smells. Shiro had asked that his professors be notified in advance, so when Shiro walked into class on the first day they would understand. He didn’t do that because he wanted to write them a book about things not to do and not to say. He didn’t want to go into detail, and he didn’t want them to walk on eggshells around him. He just wanted them to know what to do in the case something went wrong. He wanted them to know to talk softly, to only approach him if absolutely necessary, and to approach him extremely slowly with no sudden moves or noises, especially in cases like the one that had just transpired. Had his professor rushed over and grabbed his shoulder to turn him around and inspect the wound, Shiro’s survival instincts would have kicked in and he could have hurt the man. Shiro took measures to avoid such accidents, typically keeping himself well-grounded and trying not to slip too far into his thoughts in potentially dangerous situations, because while he was working to put his past behind him, there were some things that simply didn’t go away. If he couldn’t fully restrain himself from lashing out defensively should something happen, he would at least try to avoid falling into those situations as much as possible.

“Yes, sir,” Shiro assured, taking a deep breath to steady himself. The hammer hadn’t hit him hard enough to cause any real damage, but it had sliced him pretty good and would leave an impressive bruise for at least a few days.

The professor called for everyone else to get back to work, bar the kids who had been fooling around next to Shiro, who were sent to the hallway to be dealt with soon. Aware that his student was feeling okay, the professor stepped a bit closer, and used the hand he had on Shiro’s shoulder to gently turn the younger man as he quickly inspected the wound on Shiro’s head. After a moment, he withdrew his hand and stepped back to give Shiro some space.

“Why don’t you head out early? I’ll put your box away for you,” the professor offered, and while Shiro wouldn’t have minded staying, he was still feeling a bit jittery. It would be hard to focus if he stayed, and he wouldn’t get much done. Staying would also mean enduring more stares and more whispers than usual, and he was feeling too stressed to put up with it. He hadn’t quite had an episode, but he had gotten close. Knowing he needed some time alone to calm himself, Shiro nodded.

“Thank you, sir.”

The professor gave Shiro a smile, clasping his hands in front of himself to keep himself from giving Shiro a supportive pat on the shoulder, a common habit of his. Shiro was thankful for the man’s thoughtfulness. With a clean rag the professor gave him as he packed up his bag, Shiro exited the classroom. He pressed the rag to his head to soak up the blood until he reached his dorm and was able to get a bandage, something the professor didn’t have on hand.

As he walked down the sidewalk, Shiro was thankful for the dim evening light that made him less visible to the world. The sidewalks were all empty, most students either in class or in their dorms, so Shiro was able to take a breath. The cool air filled his lungs and made his muscles relax, the adrenaline from earlier draining from his body and leaving him feeling exhausted. He was almost tripping on his own feet by the time he reached his dorm and stuck the key in the lock, allowing himself to stumble inside. He dropped his bag on the floor and made his way to the bathroom, where he dug out some antiseptic and bandages for his head. After cleaning the wound he inspected it, wiping away the beads of blood that seeped out. A bruise was already beginning to form, the spot purple and beginning to swell. He didn’t have any ice, so after putting on a bandage, he put a hand towel under the faucet and let the cool water run on it, then pressed it against his head as he went to his bedroom.

Laying down gently to not disturb his head, Shiro checked his phone and saw a message from Keith. He opened it and smiled when he found a picture of Keith’s friends, Lance and Hunk, waving at the camera.

**_Keith: Lance and Hunk say hello_ **

**_Shiro: Tell them I said hello back :)_ **

Exiting the conversation, Shiro found himself in his contacts, thumb hovering over the newest one; _Matt_. For some reason he had the urge to see him again, to talk to him and complain about that stupid kid with the hammer, the other idiots in his class, and various other insignificant things that usually didn’t come up in his conversations. It took him a moment to realize that those were the things he used to talk about all the time in high school; the random little things, the shitty classmates, the minor inconveniences. Those were the things he used to mindlessly talk to his friends about, and after years of not having anyone to vent to, he had forgotten.

Hesitantly, Shiro opened a conversation with Matt, contemplating what to say. He was feeling tired and didn’t think he’d be awake much longer, so he couldn’t exactly start a full-blown conversation. He also hadn’t talked to Matt in a week, so he didn’t feel it would be appropriate to start rambling about his day. However, he did want to talk to Matt at least a little.

Shiro pondered the thought a bit more, then internally slapped himself. ‘ _Keep it simple, stupid,”_ he thought, then typed out a message.

                **_Shiro: Hey Matt, it’s Shiro. Do you want to have lunch together tomorrow?_**

Shiro stared at the screen, holding his breath. He stayed that way until his lungs grew tight and he had to exhale. He sighed to himself and shook his head slightly. “ _It’s not like he’s been waiting for your text all week. He’s probably not going to see it for a while,”_ Shiro thought. He felt a bit dumb, and was starting to regret sending the text, but there was no taking it back. Once a message was sent, it couldn’t be deleted, which made Shiro decide that -even if life couldn’t have them- at least phones should have an undo button.

In an attempt to distract himself, Shiro returned to the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth. When he finished he walked out in fresh clothes, the dirty ones from the day waiting in the laundry basket to be cleaned. His gloves sat on top of the pile, serving as a reminder for him to actually go to the laundromat before he was out of clean clothes, or more importantly, clean gloves.

Wiping a smudge of toothpaste foam off his lip, Shiro went back to his room and picked up his phone to plug it in. He stopped when the notification light flashed, and when he hit the power button he came face to face with a new message.

                **_Matt: Sure. How about at 1?_**

Shiro hadn’t been expecting a reply that night, and the small surprise blossomed a flower of warmth in his chest.

                **_Shiro: Sure. See you there_**

Shiro hurried to put his phone down and let it charge, noticing he was down to 4%. As he laid in bed and drifted off to sleep, there was a small smile on his face. His weariness dragged him into unconsciousness quickly, and he missed the weak notification light that lit up his room with an incoming text.

                **_Matt: I look forward to it :)_**


	10. Time For Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have returned! I finished my college finals just this past week, and am now down to just high school and work. However, I have two big projects due at the end of month that I still need to finish, then exams after that. I may see about dropping down to updates every two weeks after that, but I'll have to see how it goes. As always, thank you to everyone who keeps up with the story, and those who leave comments and kudos. It's always nice to know there are at least a few people who enjoy my writing enough to read it. I hope you all enjoy chapter 10 :)

Shiro woke in the morning with a pulsing headache. He couldn’t help the groan that slipped from his lips as he flopped from his back to his stomach, burying his face in his pillow to escape the blinding rays of sunlight from the window that seemed to shine directly into his brain.

‘ _Today I’m definitely not getting up,_ ' Shiro thought, attempting to burrow his head deeper into the pillow as his headache intensified. It was a Saturday, meaning no classes, so it wasn’t like he had to get up. He could just lay there, not move, and hope his headache would go away. However, laying facedown was doing him no favors, but he couldn’t lay any other way without facing the sunlight. That would have to go away too.

A sudden weight hit Shiro’s back, and he jerked his head up in surprise. His heart stuttered until his eyes landed on Eurus, who sat on the small of his back with an annoyed look on her face. She stared at him as he took a deep breath to calm his racing heart, then she walked up to his shoulder, jumped onto his nightstand, and batted his phone with her paw.

“Eurus, no,” Shiro scolded, though there wasn’t any anger in his tone. He was exhausted and in pain, and it left him without the will to properly tell-off his cat.

Before Eurus could knock his phone off the nightstand, Shiro snatched it up. He noticed the blinking notification light and frowned, then hit the home button to see what it was. His eyes widened a fraction when he saw the message from Matt that had been sent and remembered the conversation from the night before. Shiro looked over at Eurus and immediately realized what she’d been trying to tell him.

“Good girl, Eurus,” he told her. If cats could look smug, she definitely would at the moment.

Shaking his head, Shiro glanced at the corner of his phone screen for the time, and froze when it read 12:20pm. He was supposed to meet with Matt at the cafeteria in _forty minutes_ , and factoring in the ten minutes it would take him to get to the cafeteria if he walked fast, he had only half an hour to do some daily chores and his morning routine.

“SHIT!”

Shiro threw off his blankets and jumped to his feet, only to stumble across the room into the wall as a bolt of pain and a wave of dizziness struck him. He hissed and gingerly patted at his temple, narrowing his eyes as he felt at the bump left behind from the events of the previous day. There wasn’t much he could do about it except take some painkillers and hope for the best.

When the dizziness subsided, Shiro closed the short distance between him and his dresser, where he pulled fresh clothes from one of the drawers as well as a clean pair of gloves. He then stepped over to his small closet and pulled a silvery long-sleeve shirt off its hanger before rushing to the bathroom.

Shiro washed up in record time, not that is usually took him very long to shower on a normal day, and ran a comb through his tuft of white hair while simultaneously brushing his teeth. Once that was done he picked up the bottle of antiseptic and box of bandages he’d left out the night before and peeled the old bandage off his face. The spot underneath was an ugly splotch of green against his tan skin with a dot of purple around the shallow cut made by the fork of the hammer. It had scabbed overnight and was no longer bleeding, but Shiro didn’t want to risk going without a bandage, so he dabbed at it with antiseptic and gently stuck another medium-sized square bandage over it.

Once he was done in the bathroom, Shiro returned to his room to check the time on his phone; it was 12:40pm. He had no clue why time was passing so quickly during his scramble, but he didn’t have the minutes to spare in order to think about it.

Moving as quickly as he could without actually running, Shiro went to the adjacent room that held his workout equipment and Eurus’ things. He picked up the water dish, jogged to the kitchen, cleaned and refilled the bowl in the sink, then ran it back. He then opened up the plastic bin that held Eurus’s food and scooped out a cup full to dump in her dish. It took a few tries for him to fill the cup, as the bin was almost empty, and he made a mental note to pick up some more cat food soon.

When Eurus’s food and water bowls were both full, Shiro moved on to her litter box. It would be faster to dump the whole thing and refill it, but a glance into the second plastic bin in the room -which held the cat litter- told Shiro he would need to buy more of that, too. There wasn’t enough left to properly fill the litter box, so Shiro settled on spot cleaning it and making another mental note to also get some cat litter while he was out.

Eurus purred happily as Shiro set her litter box back on the ground and immediately set to scratching around in it. Typically Shiro would stop and laugh, but he was close to running late and did nothing more than shake his head with amusement while returning to his bedroom.

Upon returning to his room, Shiro snatched up his phone and glanced at the weather app to check the temperature. A heatwave had been going through, but it was almost the third week of September, so the weather was beginning to cool. The temperature at the moment was a solid 65°F, cool enough that Shiro wouldn’t have to worry about overheating, but too warm still for a jacket. With that in mind, he dashed around his dorm in search of his ID, which he stuffed in his pockets with his keys. He checked the time again and saw that it was 12:49pm, leaving him with a minute to take a quick lap around his dorm to make sure everything that needed to be done before he left was taken care of. Once finished, he grabbed his wallet from the counter next to the door, slipped on his shoes, and left.

-000-

Shiro made it just in time. While he knew it wouldn’t be too bad if he was a few minutes late, as he could have simply informed Matt that he had woken up late, he was afraid to. He didn’t want Matt to think he didn’t care, or that he didn’t really want to be out. He didn’t want Matt to think he wasn’t looking forward to hanging out with him. He wanted Matt to know his company was appreciated, even if that meant jogging down the sidewalk and weaving through groups of people in order to reach the cafeteria on time.

Upon his arrival at the cafeteria, Shiro was glad to find that he wasn’t even breathing hard. Despite that, his heart was pounding, though he was well aware that it wasn’t due to the running. Taking a breath to calm his anxiety, Shiro ran his fingers through his tuft of white hair to make sure it wasn’t tangled then looked around for a familiar face. It took a few moments to locate Matt, as students who had just woken up from a late Friday night were all crowding toward the cafeteria for food. The sheer number of people made Shiro’s pulse even faster, and he had to keep sidestepping to avoid people bumping into him as he searched for Matt. The boy was relatively small, making him difficult to see in the sea of people, but Shiro did eventually notice him standing half inside the shrubs next to the cafeteria doors as he attempted to move away from the crowd of people entering the building.

Shiro quickly made his way into the crowd, cringing when his right arm bumped a girl’s shoulder, but she didn’t even notice. He tried to avoid contact with other people, but it was difficult as the incoming flow of people funneled in toward the set of two doors leading to the cafeteria.

As he got closer to the entrance, Shiro tried to think of how to get Matt’s attention. The boy wasn’t looking in his direction, and likely wouldn’t hear him over the chatter of the other students.

Unsure of what else to do, Shiro waited until he was close enough to reach out and touch Matt to try to contact him. Shiro stretched out his left arm and tapped Matt’s shoulder as the flow of students herded him through the doors. Matt and Shiro made eye contact for just a moment, then it was broken when Shiro passed through the doorway. Shiro looked back for another second before turning to face forward as he cleared the second set of doors.

The room opened up immediately at the doorway, and the tight crowd of students dispersed enough that Shiro finally had some breathing room. He was able to step out of the flow and stand off to the side to wait for Matt. Shiro watched the incoming students until he saw Matt, then followed the tech student further into the room until the students broke up enough that Shiro could easily weave past through group to reach him.

“Hey,” Shiro greeted, raising his voice a little so Matt would be able to hear him. Matt jumped a little, startled by Shiro’s sudden appearance, as he had been looking the other way.

“Oh! Hi,” Matt returned, his lips turning up in an infectious smile.

Shiro felt his own lips curl pleasantly at the sight, and he nodded toward the line up ahead of them. Matt caught the memo and walked with Shiro up to the lines in the back of the room for food.

The wait wasn’t long, but it was a bit awkward. It was a too loud for them to talk, so they just silently moved through the line together, picking out whatever food looked good and making their way to the registers. They got into the same line and waited as the students ahead of them swiped cards and handed over cash to pay for their meals. Upon reaching the front of the line, Shiro swiped his ID card and got a nod from the man at the register, then he stepped back as Matt swiped his own ID before stepping away from the register as well. Shiro raised an eyebrow as Matt approached, and the tech student nodded toward an empty booth along the back wall.

The two quickly made their way to the booth before it could be taken and claimed it for themselves. They set their trays down and slid into the seats, then Shiro fixed Matt with a curious look.

“You don’t have to pay for lunch either?” he asked, a bit interested. It was a rarity for students at their university to get free meals, as those deals were typically only given to students who required loads of financial aid and loans in order to go to school, leaving them without the money needed for food. It wasn’t that Shiro thought Matt was some guy from a wealthy family or anything of that sort, as he didn’t know very much about Matt himself let alone Matt’s family, but he was curious as to what the circumstances were.

“Yeah. Staff members don’t have to pay for meals, and as an employee of the IT Center, I count as a staff member,” Matt explained, picking up his fork for twirl it around in the pile of spaghetti he had picked up from the lunch line. “Though only the basics are covered. If I get anything extra like a flavored water or something, then I have to pay for that,” he explained, then his expression shifted to curiosity. “What about you?”

Shiro went quiet, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He didn’t like explaining his situation to people, and while he did feel far more comfortable around Matt than any other person he had met at the university thus far, he was unsure about telling the boy his life story and potentially scaring him off. There was also the possible event in which Matt would pity him, and that was almost worse than people who found him creepy, or weird, or something of that sort. However, Matt had answered Shiro’s question, so he felt he shouldn’t leave the boy hanging.

“Just some difficult financial circumstances,” Shiro answered vaguely, not wanting to go in depth.

Matt seemed to pick up on Shiro’s discomfort, because he quickly changed the topic.

“Do you have any pets?” he asked, his curiosity genuine. Shiro nodded.

“Yeah, actually. I have a cat,” he replied. Matt’s eyes widened.

“Oooo. I have dog. Her name is Bae Bae,” the boy said, his voice tinged with excitement. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, which he quickly unlocked before pulling up his camera roll. Shiro watched Matt scroll through what looked like hundreds of pictures before he chose one and pulled it up. Matt then turned the screen to face Shiro so the aviation student could see the picture. A medium-sized tan dog had its tongue hanging out of its mouth, looking at the camera with bright eyes. Its tale was a blur in the background, likely due to it wagging.

Shiro smiled at the picture of the dog, though his expression changed to curiosity as his eyes landed on the person who was crouched next to it. It was a kid, one who looked to be no older than fourteen or fifteen, who had features extremely similar to Matt’s. Their hairstyles were the same, their eyes the same large, bright orbs of brown, though the shades differed. Like Matt, the kid appeared to be very thin and short.

Matt noticed Shiro staring and turned the screen back to face himself. His eyes landed on the kid in the picture and he smiled.

“That’s my younger sister, Pidge. Well, actually her name is Katie, but I call her Pidge. She used to claim to hate it, but since I started going to college she’s been pretty insistent that I call her that,” Matt explained with a grin on his face. “We don’t see each other much most days. She must miss me,” he joked with a light tone, though his grin disappeared and was replaced by a small smile as the light in his eyes faded into something sad. It was clear that Matt’s sister wasn’t the only one who missed their sibling.

“She’s adorable,” Shiro complimented, the girl’s childish smile reminding him of the way Keith used to smile years ago, back before they hit rock bottom and lost everything.

“I know, right!?” Matt responded excitedly, making Shiro chuckle.  
The light had returned to Matt’s eyes, and it made something in Shiro’s chest tingle. Unsure of what it was, he ignored it.

“So, do you have any pictures of your cat?” Matt asked after taking one last look at the picture on his screen before putting his phone away. He still had a small grin on his face that Shiro found he couldn’t have said no to even if he didn’t have any pictures. He didn’t exactly have many, but he knew he had a few.

“Yeah. Most of them aren’t very recent, though,” he said, pulling his phone from his pocket. He hesitated on the lock screen, taking a moment to remember his password before typing it in. He hadn’t yet gotten used to the password, and sometimes had to take a minute to think about it before he could remember what it was.

Shiro opened up his camera roll and was met with about thirty pictures. Half of them were screenshots of planes from movies he’d watched in the past, and another good handful were the semi-blurry pictures of Keith he always tried to take. The remaining five were pictures with Eurus in them, though two were blurry and two more were from shortly after he first found her. Only one was a good picture of her, and that one just happened to be the exact picture that was his lock screen.

“This is the most recent one I have. It’s from over the summer break,” Shiro said, holding his phone out for Matt to take. The boy accepted it and tilted it toward himself so he could see the image better. “That’s Eurus and my brother, Keith, who has no idea I have this picture and would delete it if he did,” Shiro explain with a little bit of a chuckle and a tone full of fondness. It wouldn’t strike him until later how easily the words came out, words he typically never spoke to anyone. He wasn’t a fan of talking about family despite how much he cared about Keith, though he knew that how much he cared was part of the reason why.

Matt looked at the picture and smiled, both at Eurus and Keith. “Cute,” he said, though it was hard to tell if he was talking about the picture, Eurus, or Keith. He didn’t elaborate, and Shiro decided not to ask. “Your brother isn’t much of a picture person?” Matt asked, handing the phone back. Shiro looked at the picture again before hitting the power button.

“Nah. He’s pretty camera shy,” he admitted, getting an amused smile from Matt.

The two continued talking about random things, from what they were doing in their classes to how slow the student internet had been a few days ago. The conversation didn’t have much of a point, not meant to let them get to know each other better or anything of that sort. It wasn’t awkward or personal, rather it was something to fill the air between them and let them keep talking. They were able to complain to each other about the stupidest things and laugh at each other’s small instances of misfortune, such as one of Matt’s stories in which he had dropped his screwdriver while working and fell out of his chair while reaching for it.

The whole time, neither of them got uncomfortable. Neither of them wanted to go anywhere, or talk about anything else. They were content, more than content, actually. They were happy, a feeling quite foreign to Shiro. It was nice, very nice, and as they talked he wished it would never end. Only it had to, because eventually they finished their food and started getting annoyed looks from students standing around, waiting for tables to open up. Eventually they had to get up, dump their trays, and leave. Eventually the conversation had to end.

Shiro and Matt exited the cafeteria building, then walked slowly down the sidewalk together. It was harder to talk outside than it had been in the cafeteria, as some clouds had rolled in and the wind had picked up in the last hour and proceeded to carry their words away. After a few minutes of repeating themselves over and over again, they settled into silence. Their attempts at words were replaced with quick sideways glances and gazes that flicked away from each other when they met, and the two reveled in the comfortable atmosphere that settled over them as they continued step-by-step with no exact destination in mind.

At one point during the walk, a strong gust of wind whipped Shiro’s white tuft of fringe back, revealing the plain tan bandage stuck to his forehead, the faintest parts of the bruise beneath seeping out around the edges. At that exact moment Matt glanced up at Shiro, and his eyes locked on to the spot, causing Shiro to tense. For a moment he thought Matt would stop and ask about it the same way people always did when someone they knew got a rather nasty-looking injury, and Shiro prepared to shrug the question off, but it never came. Instead, Matt’s gaze dropped down to Shiro’s eyes, where he must have been able to see Shiro’s sudden discomfort, because the boy’s lips pulled up into the slightest smile and didn’t speak a word. The tension left Shiro’s shoulders in an instant, and he returned Matt’s smile and shifted his gaze to the pavement below his feet.

Eventually the pair found themselves slowing to a stop in front of the building that held the IT Center, and they turned to face each other as the wind suddenly calmed, leaving them in silence.

“Thanks for meeting up today,” Matt said, looking up to Shiro with a smile.

Shiro nodded. “You too.”

The pair was silent for a moment, their gazes shifting around as they pondered whether to leave it at that or talk a little more. It was almost a minute before Matt broke the silence.

“Soooo,” he began, his eyes on the ground as he subconsciously tapped his fingers on his legs somewhat nervously, “do you want to meet up again tomorrow?” he offered, looking up from the ground but not meeting Shiro’s eyes.

The older of the two stiffened slightly, his eyes widening a millimeter as he processed the offer. “Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Same time?” Shiro asked, his own gaze dropping to the pavement as he began to pick at his gloves.

“Sure,” Matt agreed, risking a glance up at Shiro and immediately dropping his gaze when their eyes met.

The two stood in silence for a few more moments, their eyes flicking up and down a bit awkwardly until Matt took a hesitant step back and gave Shiro a small smile before turning and scurrying into the building. Shiro watched him go with a ghost of a smile on his face until Matt disappeared from sight, then he began the trek back to his dorm.


	11. I Love To Hear You Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 11 is here! Exams are coming up next week and the following week, so wish me luck. This chapter was originally part of the next one, but that left me with such a huge chapter I had to break it down a bit. I hope you guys enjoy this still :)

Over the course of the next week, Matt and Shiro met up for lunch every day. They both would reach the building just before 1pm, then enter and go through the line together before finding an open table and talking.

Oftentimes the conversations were dominated by Matt, who would ask a few questions and ramble on about anything and everything. He’d ask Shiro what his favorite movie was, or his favorite book, and if he hadn’t heard of them he’d listen to Shiro give a summary then launch into an explanation of his own favorites. When common topics came up, like Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter, the two would have tiny arguments over the smallest details that left one of them pouting and the other smiling victoriously.

When Matt prompted Shiro to talk about some of the things he liked, the boy would lean forward in his seat and listen attentively with curious eyes and questions at the ready. He’d grill Shiro about what he was doing in his mechanics class and ask about the tools they used and the objects they worked on. He’d then offer up advice for what Shiro could do in order to be more efficient and do better on projects, or list problems that certain issues signified so Shiro would be better at recognizing them.

When Matt talked, Shiro would lean his elbow on the table and rest his cheek in his hand as he listened and watched Matt gesture wildly, talking with his entire body. Even when Matt’s words sounded like a foreign language, Shiro would listen and smile, asking a few questions when he understood some of what he was hearing and hoping Matt either didn’t notice his confusion or wasn’t bothered by it when Shiro was totally lost.

Despite how much the two talked, they never seemed to run out of thinks to talk _about_. Their discussions about movies and books sometimes lasted for multiple days, and Matt’s stories from the IT Center were endless. When the two started discussing their majors, Matt majoring in Computer Science and minoring in Engineering, and Shiro majoring in Aviation and minoring in Mechanics, the discussion topics grew even broader. Shiro would ask about all the stuff Matt needed to learn and what kind of tech he liked working with most, while Matt would ask Shiro what he liked about flying and what technical things needed to be taken into consideration, like weather and plane type.

The Sunday after their first planned lunch meet-up, Shiro and Matt went to lunch together at 1pm just as they had for the past week. They got their food, sat at a table, then Shiro dug in as Matt picked at his sandwich and talked excitedly about the iPhone X that had recently been brought to the IT Center.

“It's so thin and sleek, and the screen on the back is amazing! It’s literally like a single piece of glass and nothing else, kind of like what Tony Stark has in all the Marvel movies. The camera is perfect, too. I mean, we’re not supposed to mess around with stuff we don’t have to mess around with in order to fix the phone, especially not personal information, but we just opened the camera up for a couple minutes to look at the quality. It’s literally like looking around with glasses on when you have perfect vision, but like, the glasses make it easier to see, not harder. And the color is so clear! I swear, everyone needs that phone, except it costs like one-thousand dollars or something and is _so_ fragile. The person who brought their phone in said their friend dropped their iPhone X the day after they bought it, but they only dropped it like 3 inches onto their bed of all things and the screen just _shattered_. I guess not long after they left it on the floor and their older brother stepped on it with these really big work boots and completely _destroyed_ it. The person was asking if rice would fix that destruction, too, and not just drowned phones. I swear, Cyprus and I almost cried from holding back laughter and Professor Rift just dropped his head into his hands and left,” Matt rambled, flinging his arms around and doing poor imitations of the student who brought the phone in and asked their hilarious questions.

Shiro zoned out a little bit as he listened to Matt talk, his brain focusing on the way the boy’s eyes shone brightly with excitement and his mouth was stuck in a permanent grin. All he could see was the very embodiment of joy and innocence in front of him, and it was so unbelievably refreshing that he might as well have been breathing in the freshest air in the history of the planet. He could have sat there and listened to Matt talk with a grin on his face for the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately, Matt noticed Shiro’s slightly far-away look and misinterpreted it as boredom.

“Oh, am I talking too much? I do it pretty often, but usually someone tells me to stop pretty early on because I don’t notice-“ he began, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly as his gaze fell to the table, a slight sadness settling in his eyes until he was cut off by Shiro.

“No, no you’re not, really. I like listening to you talk about the things you like. You’re really expressive and can’t seem to stop smiling. It’s a nice break from all the shitty attitudes a lot of people here typically have. Seriously, Matt, don’t worry about it,” the man assured, pulling his face away from his hand to shake his head vigorously. He gave Matt a small smile, which the boy returned before launching back into his excited rambling with only a little hesitation.

Shiro settled his cheek back into his palm, keeping the gentle smile on his face even as his brain swirled with rage. _‘I am going to murder whoever told this incredible genius to shut up,’_ he thought, the hand that dangled lazily off the edge of his side of the table clenching into a fist.

Matt talked a bit more, then ate his food and listened to Shiro talk about his latest flight aviation class, where someone flying with Con had panicked mid-flight and nearly flown into a field three miles away.

Once both their trays were empty, the pair dropped them onto the stacks on top of the garbage bins and left. When they emerged from the cafeteria, they moved off to the side so they weren’t blocking the door and stopped to face each other.

“So, where are you going?” Shiro asked. Matt shrugged.

“Typically I’d go to the IT Center, but Cyprus is there right now to work on stuff and keep me out. Since I’ve spent most of my weekends so far this semester working on stuff, Professor Rift wants me to ‘take a break’ and ‘be social’ or something,” he explained, raising his hands to do air quotes and drawing a chuckle from Shiro. “What about you?” he asked.

Shiro paused. He had found half a bag of cat litter in the trunk of his car, along with a gallon bucket of Eurus’ food, so he hadn’t gone to the store last Saturday as he had originally planned. However, what he had found was running low, and he would need to get more very soon. “I actually have to go to the store down the road, the uh…Kroler?” he wondered aloud, unable to remember the name of the store.

“Hmm… Kloner? Something like that, maybe,” Matt agreed, his brow furrowing as he tried to think.

The two stood in silence for a moment, internally debating. Shiro was the first to give up, letting out a low sigh. He then looked back at Matt, who was still thinking, and stiffened as an idea came to mind.

“If you don’t have anything to do for a while, do you want to, uh, come with me?” the aviation student asked a little hesitantly, hoping the warmth that had rushed to his cheeks wasn’t visible. Matt looked up at him in surprise, his eyes widening a fraction. Shiro worried that maybe he was going a little too far, pushing the slowly-expanding boundaries around his and Matt’s friendship. They had just eaten and talked together for over an hour, and Shiro would understand if Matt was ready to end their time together for the day.

“Oh, uh…yeah, sure,” Matt said after a moment, looking to the ground and causing Shiro to miss the faint color that flushed his cheeks. The air had gotten heavy and awkward, and Shiro almost wanted to rewind time and shove his offer back down his throat. However, as his brain processed Matt’s words, his own eyes widened.

“Uh, okay. Um, my car is over by my dorm,” he said before slowly stepping in the direction they needed to go. Matt followed, keeping his head down. An awkward silence then settled over them, and Shiro, with his extremely rusty and clunky social skills, had no clue how to end it.

The silence continued until they reached the car, where Shiro quietly mumbled that Matt should sit up front in the passenger seat because the car was relatively small and there wasn’t much leg room in the back.

The two got into the car and buckled in, then Shiro turned the key in the ignition and swiveled his head to watch for cars as he slowly backed out of the parking space. He crept the short distance from the parking space to the side road that his dorm was located on, then headed for the main campus road. Once he got there, he found himself at a yellow light and slowed to a stop.

Shiro stole a glance at Matt, who was looking at his hands in his lap. Neither of them had really spoken since they’d left the cafeteria, and Shiro was regretting his offer despite the fact that Matt had accepted. They had gone from a comfortable conversation to something tense and awkward, and he couldn’t think of any way to lighten the mood.

Luckily for them both, neither of them had to do anything. When Shiro glanced back up at the road after looking at Matt, he froze, and Matt saw him stiffen and followed his gaze only to have the same reaction. Four people were going across the crosswalk, all of them dressed in strange costumes. One wore one of the popular inflatable dinosaur suits, and upon closer inspection, the two students in the car noticed the person was on roller blades. A second person wore a banana suit, and was skateboarding behind the dinosaur. Next to the banana was someone in a hot dog suit riding a scooter. Behind the three of them was a final person on a unicycle dressed as some sort of fruit neither Matt nor Shiro could discern.

Matt and Shiro watched in stunned silence as the four crossed the street and continued on their way just before the traffic light turned green. Shiro numbly turned the car in the direction of the store, then glanced at Matt.

“So, college, amirite?” he asked. Just a moment later they both burst into a fit of laughter that didn’t completely settle down until five minutes later when they pulled into the parking lot of their destination. As Shiro scanned for a place to park, Matt’s eyes went to the building.

“Oh, we were wrong. It’s Kronners,” Matt said, looking up at the enormous block letters on the front of the store. He and Shiro shared a look as Shiro glanced at the store then pulled into a parking spot and killed the engine. After a moment of gazing at each other’s expressionless faces, they started laughing all over again.


	12. A Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! This summer has proved to be much busier than I'd hoped for, but the chapters will keep coming, I promise. This one is extra long, but definitely worth the time it took to write. As always I'm trying to maintain a slow burn development, though I admit I actually have a set ending for the story. That definitely won't be any time too soon, but I'd say the story is probably already at or past the halfway mark. Depending on the events that occur as Matt and Shiro start to get closer, the end could come a bit sooner than originally planned or a bit later, though there will still be quite a few chapters in between. I'm hoping to soon explore Matt's character in this story, as while it is centered around Shiro, Matt will not be a flat character. He has a bit of his own stuff going on, and hopefully soon as the two get to know each other, some of that will come to light along with more details about Shiro's past.   
> Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter!

As Shiro and Matt entered Kronners, they both stopped to look around at the vast array of departments and endless shelves.

“I get that this is a supermarket, but I fail to see why it needs to be so big,” Shiro mumbled, shaking his head as he began to walk again. All he needed was food and litter for Eurus, but it always took him ages to get it because the pet items were in one of the back corners of the store, far from the entrance.

Matt followed Shiro without a word, glancing down the isles as they passed them. The pair then fell into silence again, and while it wasn’t nearly as awkward as the previous one, it wasn’t quite comfortable either.

“Soooo, what are you getting?” Matt asked, sticking his hands in his pockets when he couldn’t decide between crossing his arms or keeping them at his sides.

“Just some litter and food for Eurus,” Shiro said, nodding toward his destination. “It’s all the way in the back of the store, though,” he added. Matt nodded.

“Yeah. Sometimes I come here with my parents when they get groceries, and it’s always a pain getting stuff for Bae Bae. It’s hard to steer the cart all the way to the registers when it’s weighed down with a ton of groceries and a 50lb bag of dog food,” the tech student complained with a sigh.

Suddenly, Matt stopped, confusion taking over his features.

“Don’t you need a cart?” he asked. Shiro shook his head.

“Like you said, the carts are a pain to steer when they’re heavy. I usually just carry the bags,” he explained, getting a nod of understanding from Matt.

“I guess that works,” the tech student supplied after a moment of contemplation. Shiro only had one small cat, so Matt’s mind had gone to the small bags of pet food and litter, not the enormous 50lb bags of food his family always got for their dog. That left him in confusion when Shiro bypassed all the small bags and went straight for the big ones.

“Uhhhh, which one was it…” Shiro mumbled to himself, looking over the bags of cat food on the shelf. His eyes scanned over the brand names and pictures printed on the front of the bags until he found the one that looked familiar. Without a word or a hint of struggle, Shiro hefted the bag onto his right shoulder, then crossed the isle to the cat litter and picked up a second huge bag, which he tucked under his left arm against his side. When he turned to look at Matt, he was met with wide eyes and lips parted in surprise.

“Oh,” was all Matt said, the word slipping from his mouth as he gazed at the man in front of him with a mixed look of surprise, confusion, and slight disbelief. Shiro simply tilted his head as he mirrored Matt’s confusion, taking a moment to realize that most people didn’t casually carry 100lbs of pet food and litter around a store. The aviation student shrugged awkwardly.

“It’s not that heavy to me,” he pointed out, glancing at his arms to make his point. It was as if Matt was noticing for the first time that Shiro was quite a large man with large muscles, someone who could easily handle a few bags of pet supplies.

After a moment, Matt’s face broke out into a smile. “You’re like my sister. Well, no, not really. She’s tiny, but she’s freakishly strong. Like the Hulk. Just, y’know, smaller,” the boy explained, stumbling a bit on his words. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out the best way to get his point across. “Not like She-Hulk, because my sister is _seriously_ the tiniest teenager I’ve ever seen, but like, yeah. Kind of like if Bruce Banner has the Hulk’s strength without actually turning into the Hulk” he rambled, looking up to see if Shiro understood what he meant. Matt was met with an eyebrow raised in amusement, and he chuckled lightly. Just like that, the awkwardness was gone again.

“Sounds like she’s quite a character,” Shiro guessed with a smile as he began walking to the registers at the front of the store. Matt grinned.

“You have no idea. She’s _terrifying_. Some classmates of hers were being asses last year, so she hacked into their phones and played themes from different kids shows on them during class,” Matt explained, shaking his head. “I wasn’t there to hear it, but I got to read about it in a newsletter sent to all the students from the school asking that they ‘refrain from watching videos in class, especially with the volume on, so they wouldn’t distract other students with Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, Caillou, and Sesame Street.”

By the time he finished, Matt was barely suppressing laughter.

“I mean, neither of us care what other people watch. Like, if some fourteen year-old wants to watch Dora or Spongebob, sure, whatever. Pidge would never do it to make them get judged by others. Everyone in her class knew it was her and wouldn’t actually think those kids were watching what they consider ‘dumb kid shows’. That was just her way of showing them that she won’t let them walk over her, and it worked. They haven’t bothered her since,” he added, taking a breath to calm himself, though his grin remained.

“Remind me to never get on her bad side,” Shiro joked, a smile on his face. Matt nodded, still smiling.

“That’s pretty hard to do, actually. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” the tech student assured, though there was something off about his tone. Shiro couldn’t quite place it, but he didn’t feel he should pry, so he kept his mouth shut.

“I can’t say the same thing about Keith,” Shiro commented, an older memory of his brother coming to mind. “When he was in elementary school some kid took his favorite pencil, and in retaliation he brought a screwdriver to school the next day and took all the screws out of the kid’s desk during recess. When the class came back from inside and the kid sat down, his desk crumbled to pieces. He didn’t get hurt, but the class got a good laugh at him.”

“Ouch. Did your brother get caught?” Matt asked. Shiro shook his head.

“The kid knew Keith did it and told the teacher, but Keith hid the screwdriver in his shoe, so the teacher didn’t find it when she searched his desk and bag. I found it when he got home, though. I was going to make him own up to it, but I found out that the school was thinking of expelling the kid who did it for vandalism. I kept quiet, but made Keith swear not to pull something like that again,” he explained.

“Did it work?”

“He hasn’t disassembled any desks since then, but he still gets back at anyone who wrongs him. He’s a bit of a hothead,” Shiro said, thinking about the previous year when he pressured Keith into admitting that he’d cut the straps on some other guy’s backpack for calling Keith’s friend Hunk fat.

Matt nodded.

“Pidge doesn’t typically get physical like that because it’s easier to get caught. It’s easier for her to erase her footprints after hacking than to hide a pair of scissors or a screwdriver, especially now that schools have security cameras and can catch a person in the act,” the tech student pointed out.

“Yeah. Keith got busted by a hallway camera once for stealing some girl’s phone and throwing it in the trash while she was in the bathroom. It was an incident with few consequences, though. He only got written up,” Shiro recalled.

“I guess we both have some interesting siblings,” Matt decided when he and Shiro finally reached the front of the store. They stepped into the shortest line they could find, then waited for those ahead of them to go through their transactions.

“I can’t disagree with that,” Shiro said.

A few minutes later the pair shuffled forward when the customer directly ahead of them finished paying for their things. Shiro set down the bag that was under his left arm first, making sure the barcode was on the cashier’s side, then he set down the second bag on top of it. The cashier scanned both bags, then read off the total. Shiro pulled out his wallet, handed over a few bills, took his change, put his wallet back, then hurried to pick up the bags again. Once he had one settled back on his shoulder and the other back under his arm, he scurried forward a few steps to move out of the way for the next person. Matt followed a step behind him, eyes on the ceiling, lost in thought.

As Matt and Shiro exited the store and headed to Shiro’s car, Shiro started shifting the bag in his left arm up a little more to pin it between his side and bicep so he could grab the handle on his car to open the door to the backseat. He was saved when Matt jogged ahead and pulled open the door for him. For a moment, Shiro worried the silence between them might have Matt uncomfortable and caused him to retreat to the backseat to put more distance between them. However, Matt didn’t get into the car. Instead he held the door open and looked at the bags in Shiro’s arm, causing Shiro to nearly sigh in relief. _‘He’s just opening the door for me because my hands are full. Way to overreact, Shiro,”_ the man thought to himself. He gave Matt a thankful smile and dropped one bag into the backseat, then the other, then stepped back out of the way as Matt pushed the door shut. Shiro circled around to the driver’s side while Matt pulled open the passenger door and dropped into the seat. The two buckled their seatbelts and the car rumbled to life.

The ride back to the university was silent, the laughter they had shared on the way there only a memory. The two had fallen into yet another lapse in conversation, unsure of what to talk about. To avoid eye contact, Shiro kept his eyes glued to the road, and Matt stared out the window. They both stayed that way until Shiro pulled into the parking lot at his dorm and killed the engine, leaving him without an excuse to look anywhere but at Matt. The tech student was in a similar situation, no longer able to pretend the scene outside his window was interesting. Hesitantly, the two looked in each other’s directions, putting on small smiles for one another.

The quiet didn’t last much longer though, interrupted when Taylor Swift’s ‘Blank Space’ blared from Matt’s pocket. Shiro startled and whipped his head down to look at Matt’s side as the tech student turned redder than the fire engine-colored truck parked a few spaces to the left of them. The boy dug around in his pocket until his fingers found his phone, and as he pulled it out he frantically tapped the ‘accept call’ button in an attempt to shut off his ringtone.

“Hello? Oh, hey dad.”

Shiro tensed, feeling like he was intruding. Not wanting to open his door and make a lot of noise, he pulled his own phone from his pocket and pulled up Keith’s contact.

“Nothing really. I just went to Kronners with a friend.”

Shiro suppressed a smile at being called ‘a friend,’ a phrase that hadn’t been used to describe him in years, as he started typing up a message.

“No, we just got back.”

Shiro tried to focus on his message, pushing his brain to think about what to ask Keith. How was school going? Had he and Lance gotten sent to the principal for fighting again recently? How was work? They were all busy questions that Keith hated and typically wouldn’t answer unless Shiro prodded some more, but he was looking for a way to distract himself so he wouldn’t feel like he was eavesdropping on Matt, not to start a conversation with his brother, who was likely still in school.

“Whenever is fine, I think. Professor Rift won’t let me work on the tech this weekend because I’ve spent all my weekends this semester there when I wasn’t scheduled to work. He’s got Cyprus in there to fix the tech and keep me out.”

Shiro couldn’t think of anything to type, his mind drawing a blank, but he felt stupid just staring at his phone.

“Mhm. Okay. I’ll meet you at the IT Center.”

Shiro quickly typed something up.

**_Shiro: What’s up?_ **

Hoping Keith was on his phone at that exact moment and would respond, Shiro stared at his screen.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, dad. Bye.”

Matt ended the call and looked over at Shiro, who looked at old texts from Keith and pretended they were new for a moment to make Matt believe he’d been distracted the entire time. The day had been awkward enough at times, and Shiro didn’t want to make it worse. After a few seconds, Shiro hit the power button on his phone and slid it back into his pocket.

“My dad just called, and he’s picking me up in a few minutes at the IT Center. Do you need help getting the bags inside before I go?” Matt asked, polite as ever even though his tone betrayed slight awkwardness.

Shiro unbuckled his seatbelt, opened his door, and stepped out. Matt followed suit.

“Don’t worry about it, Taylor,” Shiro teased, causing Matt to redden and put a hand on his face.

“ _Ohmygod_ I did it for the meme!” the boy claimed, his voice slightly muffled. Shiro just laughed.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Really!”

Shiro took a breath to stop his chuckles, but his smile didn’t fade.

“Go ahead and go so you can get home and tell your sister about your evil friend who teased you about your meme ringtone so she can hack my phone and play the Wonderpets theme while I’m in class,” he said, his tone light and playful. Matt shut his door and crossed his arms.

“Ooooooh it’ll be so much worse than that. How about My Little Pony?” Matt suggested. Shiro raised his hands to his face in mock horror.

“Noooo! I’m not a Brony! Anything but that!”

The two broke down into laughter, holding onto the car for support. Shiro was the first to sober, as his laughter slowed and stopped when his eyes landed on Matt’s face. The boy’s eyes were squeezed shut and his face was split by a wide grin as he laughed, leaning on one arm against Shiro’s car while the other was wrapped around his waist to hold himself up. The sight turned Shiro’s grin into a soft smile, and since he didn’t want to risk getting caught trying to sneak a picture, he burned the image into his mind. It had been a long time since he’d seen someone look so happy because of him.

Matt soon calmed down, and his shoulder heaved as he drew in deep breaths. He looked up to see Shiro’s eyes on him, and it just made him smile wider. The two were locked in a moment, a rather common occurrence in the past week. They had gotten much closer in just a span of eight days than either of them would have thought possible, and both of them were beyond delighted about that. Despite the fact that they both had things to do and places to go, neither of them wanted to leave. They could have stayed that way for ages, appreciating the friend had found in each other, but the world didn’t stop for anybody.

“I should go before my dad calls again. I don’t need to torture you with Taylor Swift again,” Matt said, nodding in the direction of the IT Center. While he didn’t know where Shiro’s dorm was located relative to the IT Center, he did know which way led to the cafeteria and which direction the IT Center was in from there.

“Alright. Watch out for bikes and joggers,” Shiro told him, aware that Matt could get lost in thought and easily be run over by either.

Matt laughed and turned, setting off for the IT Center.

“See you later, Shiro,” he called over his shoulder, a smile still on his face. Shiro gave him a small wave, then watched Matt’s retreating back. In less than twenty seconds, he was already obscured by the trees.

-000-

Ten minutes later, Shiro was back in his room. It had been a little difficult getting both bags out of his car, shutting the car door with his feet, locking the car while the hand holding his keys was also holding the cat food, passing the doors of his neighbors while hoping none of them would open one in his face, unlocking his door with half a hand, opening the door with half a hand, and squeezing through the doorway with the load he carried. He’d ended up leaving his dorm door open as he carried the pet supplies into the room with the litterbox, then returning to grab his keys and shut the door. He then had refilled the food and litter bins and completely cleaned Eurus’s litter box. After that was all done, he’d walked into his bedroom and stopped.

Without a word, Shiro pulled off his gloves and dropped them on his dresser before going over to his bed and flopping down face first. After a moment, he felt Eurus jump up on his back. She was quick to lay down between his shoulder blades, rendering him completely immobile. Once Eurus laid down somewhere, she decided when she would move, even if she was laying on a person. If she was comfortable and someone moved her without a good reason, she didn’t let them get away with it.

“Did today actually happen, Eurus?” Shiro asked, folding his hands under his chin and turning his head to look back at his cat. She just stared at him for a moment, then began licking her paws. Shiro sighed. “It’s been years since I’ve had a good conversation with anyone who isn’t you, Keith, or Keith’s friends. It was also actually kinda nice to get to complain about the little things to someone like we’re stupid kids who aren’t putting up with any of the big stuff,” he admitted, subconsciously glancing at his right arm. “Sure, I’ve talked to Lance and Hunk about stupid stuff a few times before, but they know too much. They know all about my arm, what happened to my team, what happened to Keith and I. I know they try to hide it, but they both tend to get expressions of pity sometimes when I talk to them, especially if the conversation is related to everything that’s happened. It was just nice to talk to someone who has no idea what happened to me and doesn’t look at me like I’ll shatter if they say the wrong thing.”

Eurus pushed herself further up Shiro’s back until she was curled up at the top of his shoulders, then she laid her head down at the base of his neck.

“I just like having Matt around. Sure, there were quite a few awkward silences, but… He’s so kind and he doesn’t pry. He doesn’t point out my scars, doesn’t ask why I wear long sleeves when its boiling hot outside, doesn’t ask why I wear gloves all the time. Instead of being intimidated when I picked up 100lbs of food and litter like it was nothing, he started telling me about how strong his sister is. Instead of asking what I meant by ‘financial circumstances’ when we were talking about why we both get meals free, he started asking about pets and showing me pictures of his dog. It’s insane how little he seems to care about how I look and how much he loves talking about the people and things he cares about. I mean, I’m sure he could go on for hours about his dog, or his sister, or his work at the IT Center. He’s just… I don’t know…” Shiro trailed off, dropping his head on his hands.

Matt was different than everyone else Shiro had met at the college. Unlike the others students, he wasn’t rude to Shiro or put-off by his appearance, and he didn’t ignore him or dislike him. Unlike the professors, he wasn’t kind to Shiro out of pity or because he was a good pilot and student. Matt was something else, and while Shiro couldn’t think of the words to explain it, he could sum it up in just one sentence. He had only known Matt for a few weeks and had only been out with him a handful of times, but he already felt that Matt was the closest, most genuine friend he’d ever had. Shiro could only hope it would stay that way, and that he wouldn’t screw up and lose it all.

That single thought made Shiro’s heart freeze, and all his joy from the day was drained in an instant. What was it one if his English teachers in high school said about friendships? _They’re like books. They take years to write, but seconds to burn._ One screw-up can make love turn to hate. One misstep could make Matt decide he didn’t want to hang out with Shiro anymore. One is all it takes.

_’One wrong move that I’m too good at making,’_ he thought. To him, that was the crushing reality of the situation. Any false step could set fire to the book that they had just started writing, turning it to ashes and dust, and Shiro would be back to square one. He’d finally made a friend, been _called_ a friend, and that left him more vulnerable than he’d been since years ago when he’d had his team.

Despite it being just 4pm, Shiro was exhausted. His thoughts were draining, and he wanted to escape them. A run wouldn’t help him; he didn’t have the energy. This wasn’t some nightmare he’d just woken up from. This was a nightmare come to life that was chasing him, lingering in the back of his mind and making him afraid. Even though nothing bad had happened yet, that didn’t mean it wouldn’t and his anxiety wasn’t planning to let him forget that. He couldn’t escape that fear, not even as he drifted into the dark recesses of sleep.


	13. Half a Day Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! I was planning to do a double post in a span of a week or two, then possibly another double post soon after as I will have a few free days with no projects during which I can write. I'll try to make that happen, but there's always a chance that things might come up.
> 
> Anyway, the main reason I posted this chapter now is to make an announcement concerning season 7. I did not see the first episode, though I did see all the spoilers posted about it. That being said, do not finish reading this note if you wish to avoid spoilers, though I promise this chapter itself is is spoiler free and by the time the story isn't, s7 will have already been released. Warning aside, I'm here to tell you that this fic WILL continue despite the introduction of Adam for multiple reasons. One is that they aren't currently together, the second is that we know Shiro IS interested in men, and the third is that regardless of what happens in canon, fanfiction exists because people see something and think, "well what if THIS happened?" The point of fanfiction is writing about something you wish you could see happen even if you know it won't. The creators might have said Lotor is gone, but that doesn't mean no one can write about him anymore. The same thing goes with Shiro being in a relationship with someone who isn't Adam. I will say that I personally do ship Adam and Shiro, I think it's adorable, but I also still ship Shiro with Matt and personally don't care what happens with those relationships as long as Shiro stops suffering. I also do plan to include Adam in this fic, and he will probably play a large role in how Shiro fears what people think about his mental illness. I don't know if Shiro's physcial illness, which is what broke them in the beginning, will be included though. I'm not sure how I would include that, as the end of this fic is already planned, though I may consider putting it into any fics I write in the future
> 
> To sum it all up, I WILL write this fic until it is finished, even if Shiro and Adam get back together. After all, it's not like Avengers fans stopped shipping Black Widow with other people once she got into a relationship. Fanfiction is meant to deviate from canon, so this story WILL continue and I will probably write other fics about Shiro and Matt in the future, as well as Shiro and Adam. I've seen that a lot of fan-made content for Shiro/Matt has died out since the introduction of Adam and it makes me sad to see it, though I do not plan to do the same. Even if no one reads this fic anymore, it will continue until it is finished. 
> 
> Thank you to those who have kept up so far, and even if many of you decide to drop the story, I am glad you enjoyed what I have put out so far and hope someday you may come back to finish it once it is complete.

Three days after the trip to Kronners, Shiro woke up to his alarm blaring. He grunted, rolling over and pulling on the edge of his pillow so it slid out from under his head and landed on top of it. Though unfortunately for him, it did nothing to block the obnoxious screams coming from his phone.

With a sigh, Shiro rolled over again and poked his head out from under his pillow so he could see as his hand groped around his nightstand in search of his phone. Once he had it in hand he swiped across the screen to shut off the alarm, then had to fight the urge to close his eyes and go back to sleep. It took enormous effort, but he was soon out of bed and headed for the kitchen in search of something to eat while rubbing the bleariness from his eyes.

Shiro had spent to the previous two nights texting Matt, leaving him with less time to sleep. Time seemed to fly when he talked to the tech student, and suddenly 10pm was 2am and Shiro was hit with a  wave of exhaustion. Luckily, he’d been able to sleep late the previous morning, as he had no classes on Tuesday, but Wednesday wasn’t the same. He had his aviation class early in the morning at 8am, meaning he had to be awake by 7 to have time to shower, feed Eurus, clean up, find something to eat, then make the trek to the aviation building that wasn’t exactly close to his dorm. Shiro had also been up much later the night before, as Matt had gone oddly silent until almost midnight, then made up for lost time by texting until almost 3am. Despite that, Matt had seemed very awake throughout the conversation as if it was taking place in the middle of the day. Shiro wondered if maybe Matt had taken a nap, though he didn’t feel it was his business to ask, so he didn’t.

Yawning for the fifth time since he woke up, Shiro grabbed two granola bars from his cupboard and ventured to the room with Eurus’s things. Her water bowl had hair in it, and her food bowl was almost empty. How she’d managed that, Shiro didn’t know. Instead of pondering it, he replaced the water and began to wrestle with the bin containing cat food as Eurus circled him, rubbing her face and sides against his legs for attention. Shiro filled her dish and scratched under her chin with his left hand momentarily as his right scooped up food, then left her to eat as he headed for the shower.

After a quick, cold shower, Shiro was finally awake. His tuft of white hair was a mess of knots that his comb refused to detangle, but he simply put it off as he dressed in his aviation uniform and searched for a clean pair of gloves. He’d met up with Matt a lot recently, and even in the past two days during which they had been unable to meet, Shiro had been busy with classes, catching up on work, and calling Keith to see how the teen was doing in school. That left him with little extra time to do things like laundry, which he has procrastinated in favor of keeping up on his daily workout. Unfortunately, he was in rather dire straits. Nearly all of his clothes were dirty, including all but one pair of gloves, and even his aviation uniform was uncharacteristically neglected. He didn’t have too many clothes, but there was enough that he might have to run two loads of laundry at the laundromat, which was always full. There was no telling how long it would take, though Shiro knew he wouldn’t have enough time to see Matt once again.

With a sigh, Shiro pulled on his last pair of gloves and returned to the challenge of combing out his hair. It took longer than usual, setting him behind to the point that he nearly forgot his shoes and was left jogging out the door once he was finally ready to leave.

-000-

To Shiro’s disappointment, Instructor Holt was nowhere to be seem when class began. Instructor Con said nothing, leaving Shiro and the rest of the students without any idea of where the man was. The man might have been a new presence in the class who they’d only known for about a month, but he was kind and very popular with the students, perhaps because he was there to offers tips and support, not grade them like Instructor Con.

The absence of Instructor Holt affected the class in many ways, as Shiro soon came to see. With Holt available, two students could go in the air at once, as long as it wasn’t a test day since only Con could do any kind of grading. The students got nearly twice as much flight time as usual, a somewhat rare occurrence in that semester so far due to rain, clouds, fog, and other bad weather that made flying hazardous. However, without Holt, they were back to the typical one-at-a-time flights. The result was that each student slotted to fly that day only got about twenty minutes of flying in, and the last few in line were cut off by a malfunction in the landing gear that made landing uncertain and dangerous.

With flying off the table and Con preoccupied with trying to find the issue while waiting for one of the professional mechanics working for the university to arrive, the class was left with a boring worksheet to do until class was over. The worksheet contained diagrams of engines from different models of planes, diagrams of the exterior of entire planes, and diagrams of the entire interior of planes. Each diagram had at least ten blank lines with arrows pointing to specific places that students were to identify, then write down the name in the corresponding blank. The top of the worksheet also specified very clearly that the paper was to be completed as homework if students did not finish before class ended. With only an hour left in the class and half a dozen diagrams to get through, most students took advantage of the lack of an instructor in the room and got out their phones to pull up the diagrams and fill them in using the internet. They all finished within half and hour and left early, but those same people were the ones who would struggle during the written exam and when they reached the real world, where they needed to know how every plane they flew worked.

By the time class was over, Shiro was one of the few students who remained. The class wasn’t very large already, being a third-year class, but without those who had cheated on their homework there was barely a half dozen students left. Like Shiro, the remaining students valued hard work and strove to put forth effort, a rare quality amongst people. All of them would have homework for the night, but they were also the people who Shiro knew for sure he’d be seeing in the fourth-year class next year.

Packing up, Shiro made a note on his phone to bring his homework to the laundromat when he went so he could work on it while waiting for his clothes. There wasn’t much else to do as he waited, and after seeing someone steal a washer by opening it when the person using it left, removing that person’s clothes, putting their own in, and using the remaining time for their self, Shiro didn’t dare leave his machines unattended to go do something else.

With a single glance back at the classroom, wondering once again where Instructor Holt could be, Shiro headed to his next class.

-000-

It was the moment he stepped out of the aviation building that Shiro got the email. It came as a surprise, last-minute email from a professor who always notified students of schedule changes at least a week in advance; English was cancelled.

Shiro stopped dead in the doorway, extremely confused as to why a professor notorious for holding class even when weather made the most stubborn professors cancel would possibly cancel a class so last minute when the weather was fine and flu season had not yet struck.

The answer, as it turned out, was quite simple. Like many others who lived in the area and made loads of money every year, the professor lived in a rich neighborhood surrounding a large, beautiful lake forty minutes from campus. The drive was never too bad, but the distance was too far to walk, and taxis and buses were a rarity in the town the university resided in. For the professor, that meant car trouble spelled the end of class. Lucky for the students who didn’t want to go to class that day, the trusty suburban the professor drove decided it was time to break down the minute the professor turned the key in the ignition. With no means of transportation and less than an hour before class was meant to start, the professor had no choice but to cancel.

A smile crept across Shiro’s face as he realized he would actually have some free time that night. Even if Matt was busy with the IT Center, a strong possibility as he spent most of his off-time working there, Shiro would have time to relax. He could finally watch one of the movies he’d been putting off until his schedule cleared up, take another trip to the store to buy some real groceries, or even just take the long nap he’d been craving since the semester began.

With his mood lifted, Shiro’s stress began to melt and his tense muscles began to loosen. He was finally starting to feel calm, a feeling that had hovered just out of reach since Matt left after his and Shiro’s trip to Kronners just days ago. Anxiety over classes was starting to build as midterms approached, and as Shiro and Matt’s friendship grew, Shiro worried more and more about what could happen if Matt found a part of Shiro that he despised and decided Shiro wasn’t a friend he wanted or needed anymore. Of course Matt had shown that he wasn’t nearly as shallow as others Shiro had encountered, looking past Shiro’s appearance and getting to know him as a person instead of ignoring him since he was different and ‘strange’ like others did. However, kindness had limits. Matt knew little about Shiro beyond his interests, his cat, and the fact that he had a troublemaker for a brother. He didn’t know about his arm, about the nightmares and memories from his time in the military that brought him instability anyone would find hard to manage. He didn’t know how sometimes even the smallest things could send Shiro back to his time in captivity and cause him to isolate himself from the world, or lose himself to fear and panic. Just because Matt was friendly and didn’t seem to have any problem with how Shiro’s appearance was different than the average person didn’t mean he’d be fine with how Shiro’s _mind_ was different. It didn’t mean he’d be able to manage Shiro’s episodes when they came along, or that he would even want to try.

Mental illness was a big part of Shiro’s life, as well as his younger brother’s. Some people just didn’t know what to do when an episode of anything struck, even if they wanted to help, worried they might make it worse. Shiro wouldn’t blame Matt if that was what it came down to, but he didn’t want to lose this wonderful, genuine person he had managed to stumble upon in his chaotic life to something he couldn’t control and couldn’t quite fix. The very real reality that he could was what scared him more than Matt disliking him and leaving him because he wanted to, rather than because he was worried he’d hurt him and felt like he had to.

Pushing the negative thoughts from his mind before it could leech away his calm and call back his stress, Shiro pulled out his phone to check the time. It was just past noon, and he had the rest of the day. If he got back to his dorm and brought his clothes to the laundromat quickly, there was a chance it would be empty enough that he wouldn’t have to stand in line. Shiro decided he’d plan on doing that, getting the essentials done early and leaving him with more free time later in the day. That way he’d have more time to decide what to do with it, and could even see if Matt was done working by then.

Smiling to himself again, Shiro was lost in thought when the door he was walking past suddenly opened and someone ran into him. Whoever it was, they were much smaller than him, bouncing off his side and falling to the ground with a stifled, choked yelp of pain.

Yanked from his thoughts, Shiro stopped and looked down, taking a breath to slow his racing heart after being spooked by the sudden contact. However, the breath caught in his throat when his eyes landed on the unfortunate victim of the collision, who was slumped over on the ground, cradling a heavily-bandaged forearm.

The person on the ground was none other than Matt.


	14. How About a Movie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was gonna update literally two weeks ago and completely forgot! I'm sorry!! Anyway, I've actually been very busy recently, thus why I forgot to post. HOWEVER, in my free time I'm working hard to get ahead quite a bit with the story. I just recently finished the timeline for it, and can say that the turbulence these two will face will soon be upon us. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and stick around for more :)
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING FOR PANIC ATTACK AND DISCUSSION OF PTSD  
> -For the panic attack, skip the first six paragraphs. That is where the panic attacked is described  
> -The PTSD discussion ends before the first bold line. To skip it, start reading two paragraphs before the first bold line

Shiro’s eyes widened in surprise at the sight, and while he wanted to help, he couldn’t stop himself from recoiling when his eyes properly took in the bandages wrapped around Matt’s arm, so similar to how Shiro’s own arm had been on the day not too many years ago when he had finally woken up…

Panic seized Shiro’s heart, and his back was suddenly uncomfortably warm. His lungs didn’t seem to expand, not letting in as much air as he needed. It made Shiro’s head feel light, and he started to sweat. Those memories he had tried so hard to move on from were returning to the surface.

Meanwhile, Matt was still on the ground. With his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw clenched, he sucked in one breath, then two, unaware of who he had just run into. He held his right arm carefully, trying to will away the pain as he moved to stand. However, his arm bumped his knee as he tried to get up and sent a fresh wave of pain through him. He let out a quiet, pained hum, pressing his lips together to keep himself from making too much noise.

The sound reached Shiro’s ears, stealing all of his attention. It grounded him, returning to him enough control that he was able to step towards Matt and crouch in front of him.

“Matt? Are you okay?” Shiro asked, his voice still strained and shaky. If Matt asked about it later, he’d play it off as only worry over Matt’s condition rather than a mix of that and Shiro’s own internal panic.

Matt didn’t respond right away, his eyes still closed and his face tensed and aimed at the ground. The tech student’s silence made Shiro worry more, and he clung to that feeling as he tried to focus on Matt and the situation at hand in an attempt to distract himself from his thoughts.

After a moment, Matt let out a breath and finally opened his eyes. He looked up at Shiro with a forced smile, but winced. It wasn’t until he turned away from the ground completely that Shiro noticed why.

A gauze pad was taped to Matt’s left cheek, a white rectangle beneath his cheekbone. Whatever was beneath it couldn’t be less than stitches if it required more than a simple bandage.

“Sorry about running in to you,” Matt said, though Shiro nearly missed it in his shock. When the younger man moved to stand once again, Shiro found himself jumping to his feet with a hand on Matt’s uninjured arm to guide him up. The contact was much more than the usual accidental bumps and brushes that occurred when they walked side by side, and on any other day Shiro would have felt awkward and pulled away. However, at the moment, awkwardness was the last thing on Shiro’s mind.

The two stood where they were for a moment, Shiro unsure of what to say or what to do while Matt was preoccupied with looking over the bandages on his arm to make sure they hadn’t torn or moved when he fell. It wasn’t until someone walked through the same door Matt had exited through, nearly colliding with the pair, that Matt nodded toward the sidewalk and began moving. Shiro followed after him, getting out of the way as he and Matt moved to a nearby pond. The two walked out onto the small deck that reached out over the water, giving students a view of the life in the deeper parts of the tiny body of water. Settling against the railing, Matt leaning on his left side and facing Shiro with his body as he looked out at the water, neither of them spoke.

It wasn’t until Matt subconsciously grabbed at his bandaged arm again, pulling it close and holding it gingerly, that Shiro finally spoke.

“Are you alright?” he asked for the second time that day. Unlike before, when Matt had been on the ground, the boy nodded.

“Yeah. Thanks for stopping to help,” he replied shortly, his gaze not leaving the water. His lips twitched as if he wanted to say more, but he didn’t, and Shiro didn’t pry. He didn’t feel it was his business to ask if Matt wasn’t readily offering to answer.

The two lapsed into silence again, neither speaking or moving, instead standing like statues as the gentle breeze ruffled their hair and clothing. The moment was peaceful, so much so that Shiro found his earlier panic receding. He glanced at Matt’s arm again, breathing in slowly as he reminded himself that the bandages only covered Matt’s forearm, that the younger man’s upper arm and hand were perfectly fine, and the arm was not, in fact, Shiro’s. He told himself it wasn’t that day all over again, that those days were behind him, and that Matt was hurt and needed a little bit more attention than Shiro was giving him. Usually, those kinds of thoughts would only work to an extent and Shiro would end up shutting himself in his bedroom until he finally calmed down completely. However, it seemed that day was a good day, because he found himself able to look at Matt’s arm without being completely overtaken by anxiety. It made him uncomfortable still, which was unavoidable, but it was progress.

A group of loud students passed by the pond, and Shiro found himself frowning as he took a step toward Matt. The boy took notice, and put together what Shiro was thinking before Shiro realized it himself.

“It was an accident,” Matt said, glancing over at Shiro to give him another one of those forced smiles. He swung his gaze back toward the water, leaning on the rail a bit more as he took a breath and continued. “I was helping my mom make dinner last night, and Bae Bae got into the kitchen. She was trying to get into the food while I wasn’t looking,” he began. “She jostled a pot of boiling water and knocked my cutting board off the counter. I dove to catch it before it hit the floor, and some water from the pot sloshed over and spilled on my arm. It burned me pretty good. I probably would have been alright, but I’d left my knife on the cutting board. It got flung in the air when Bae Bae pulled the board of the counter, and it fell on when I dove and sliced my cheek.” Matt let out a choked laugh that sounded more pained than anything. “Just my luck, right?”

Shiro said nothing, not sure of how to respond. If it weren’t for the very real bandages on Matt’s arm and the gauze taped to his cheek, Shiro might not have believed it. He still almost didn’t believe the story, which seemed too crazy to be real, but one glance at Matt’s face told him the boy was being completely honest. Shiro had been worried that maybe someone had hurt him, a far-too-common occurrence in the world they lived in. While he was glad that wasn’t the case, he still felt horrible.

“My mom took me to the hospital for stitches and to have the burns looked at, so we couldn’t finish making dinner. She ended up just bringing pizza home. My sister was pretty happy about that, since she didn’t like what we had been making, though she seemed a little upset about the reason for it. Usually she’d make a few jokes, but she didn’t really say anything,” he recalled. “Maybe she was tired. We didn’t get home with the pizza until really late, anyway,” Matt finished, though at that point he seemed to be talking more to himself than to Shiro.

Shiro stared, wondering why Matt had been thinking of his sister when he’d just had boiling water splashed on his arm and a blade go through his cheek, and found himself speaking before he could think to stop himself.

“Why didn’t you just let it fall?”

The question was one any average person would have asked, though Shiro regretted it the moment he said it. He knew from personal experience that people had reasons for the things they did, even if they were strange, and it was horribly rude and invasive to ask. He’d been working on keeping out of the private business of others, but after years of not being close enough to someone to get exposed to any kind of private business, his filter wasn’t quite working yet.

Matt shook his head. “I couldn’t. The cutting board would have made a lot of noise when it hit the floor, and even could have shattered,” he pointed out. He paused for a moment, his features relaxing into a somewhat sad expression. His voice went soft and quiet when he spoke again. “My dad was in the next room watching the news. Small noises from the kitchen wouldn’t bother him, but that… He was in the military for a long time. He didn’t ever get hurt too bad, at least not physically, but he left with plenty of invisible scars. He’s gotten a little better over time, getting used to civilian life and all, but he has post-traumatic stress disorder. He’s been working on it a lot, trying to get better, but… that’s not something that just goes away after taking a few pills and a long nap.”

Shiro nodded, knowing all too well that Matt was completely right.

“He’s got a lot of things he has to avoid, one of the biggest being sudden loud noises. The cutting board falling and shattering would easily be enough to trigger it, so I caught it to make sure that wouldn’t happen. Sure, it sucks that I got a little burned and cut up, but I’d do it again. He was worried when he found out what happened, but I’d rather see him worried than see him lock himself up in the bedroom and go through everything alone. The things he has to manage… it’s really hard on him. If there’s any way I can help at all, I won’t hesitate to do it.”

Shiro internally punched himself a dozen times as he listened to Matt’s explanation, understanding on a very personal level just what the young man meant. It eased his anxiety to know that Matt was familiar with veterans and the struggles they faced, that he actively tried to help his father instead of keeping his distance and leaving the man to manage his recovery on his own. It warmed his heart that Matt was an even better person than he knew, though he couldn’t help the new flower of worry that blossomed within him as he thought over what he’d just learned a little more.

Since they moment they’d first collided that day, Matt had barely made a sound despite his pain. Only after hearing the context did Shiro realize that Matt had been actively trying to stay quiet, likely a habit he had developed out of courtesy to his father. Matt had already done his father a huge favor, but had gone the extra mile to ensure his father’s safety over his own. While that was beyond kind, it was also worrying. Shiro couldn’t help but wonder if, someday, Matt might get hurt and be unable to call for help after years of teaching himself to keep quiet. He didn’t even want to think of the possible outcomes, none of them good. The thought made him want to tell Matt to worry more about himself, but knowing the younger man, he was too kind and selfless to do so.

“Anyway, everything’s good now. My arm should heal after a week or two if I keep using the ointment I was prescribed, and the knife thankfully didn’t go all the way through my cheek. It’ll probably scar, but I don’t really mind,” Matt said, his tone back to the light one that Shiro had grown familiar with over the past month. 

The sudden 180 Matt pulled nearly gave Shiro whiplash, but he could recognize when someone was looking to change the subject, so he didn’t fight it. Instead he pulled out his phone to check the time, finding that just about ten minutes had passed since they collided.

“Well, uh, I gotta do some laundry, but… If you want to hang out for a bit once you’re done with your work and classes today, I’m free,” Shiro offered, recounting that doing laundry was no longer an option, but he’d have free time later. It had been a few days since they had done anything, and Shiro was hoping to spend some more time with his friend before the nearing midterms hit and they were both swamped with studying.

Matt smiled. “Actually, when Professor Rift saw my arm he sent me home early,” the tech student explained. “He told me I needed to rest, since I was having a hard time moving my arm and holding tools anyway. I’ve got the rest of the week off work, and only have to go to my classes. I don’t have any more classes tonight though, and I won’t be going home until later in the evening, so whenever you finish your errands just let me know and I’ll meet up with you,” he offered.

Shiro nodded. “Um, yeah. Sure.”

Matt flashed Shiro another reassuring grin, this one far more genuine than the previous two, and Shiro couldn’t help the smile it brought to his face. The aviation student promised to contact Matt soon, then ran off to get to his dorm quickly. He was moving fast, excited for later that day when he’d be able to hang out with Matt again. If it weren’t for his severe lack of clean clothes, he would have put laundry off even more. Though since he couldn’t do that, he opted instead to just go as fast as he could.

On his way out of his dorm, a backpack and drawstring bag stuffed with clothes slung over his shoulders, Shiro felt his phone buzz. He pulled it out and found a message from Matt. It contained a screenshot of a movie poster and showtimes for the day at a theater just down the road. Oddly enough, it was one of the new movies Shiro had been looking forward to. Pulling his door shut behind him, Shiro scanned over the showtimes in search of the one he thought would be best.

**Shiro: 4pm?**

It was a minute before Matt responded, catching Shiro just as the aviation student slid his car key into the ignition.

**Matt: See you then**

Shiro smiled, dropping his phone on the passenger seat next to his bags of clothes as he buckled up. In his excitement, he nearly ran over the curb, but that wasn’t even close to enough to wipe the grin from his face. At the moment, he doubted anything was.

-000-

Shiro’s luck continued when he reached the laundromat. Just as he had hoped, barely half of the machines were occupied. There was no waiting, a rare occurrence in the only laundromat within twenty miles of the university.

Hoping to finish quick, Shiro quickly loaded up a washer with clothes and detergent, inserted a few coins, and started the machine. He then leaned back against it, crossing his ankles and relaxing into a more comfortable stance as he pulled out his phone and waited.

For the first ten minute of waiting, Shiro scrolled around online. However, it wasn’t long before he found himself opening his contacts and clicking Matt’s.

**Shiro: Have you read any of the reviews for the movie yet?**

The text was sent without Shiro even thinking, his mind lost to random thoughts as he awaited a reply, which came in less than a minute.

**Matt: Nope**

**Matt: I don’t trust people to leave out spoilers**

**Shiro: Fair point**

**Matt: The director has made a lot of good stuff so I think this one will be good too**

**Shiro: I hope so. Tickets are almost as expensive as buying the movie when it’s released on DVD**

**Matt: Yeah but like no one buys DVDs anymore**

**Matt: Unless**

**Matt: Shiro**

**Matt: Do you still buy DVDs**

**Shiro: Sometimes? If it’s good and I have extra money I will**

**Matt: Omg yyyy**

**Matt: That’s what pirate sites are for**

**Shiro: That’s illegal**

**Matt: Only if you get caught**

**Shiro: They have tons of viruses**

**Matt: Not if you have an anti-virus**

**Matt: Or if you know how to get rid of them**

**Shiro: Is that even possible?**

**Matt:**

**Matt: Are you really asking me that question**

**Matt: Are you sure you’re not like 90**

**Matt: Because you sound like my grandma**

**Shiro: I’m not a Computer Science major**

**Matt: Neither is my sister but she can do that stuff in her sleep**

**Shiro: Your sister is a genius child who can hack into phones from across the room**

**Shiro: Which, also, how is that even possible**

**Matt: Fair point**

**Matt: Its easier than you think**

**Shiro: Yes, and my brother has never gotten into a fight**

**Matt: Whatever you say grandma**

**Shiro:**

**Shiro: Grandma has to go move clothes from the washer to the dryer**

**Shiro: Don’t get a virus while I’m away**

**Matt: If I ever get a virus from a pirate site I’ll eat my shirt**

**Shiro: I’m holding you to that**

**Matt: Mmk**

Shiro snorted quietly as he pocketed his phone, shaking his head at his friend. Where Matt had gotten the shirt-eating idea from, Shiro could never guess, but he thought it would be an amusing attempt to witness.

Smile still tugging at the corners of his lips, Shiro opened up his washer, cringing as he picked up the first bundle of wet clothing and tossed it into the nearest dryer. He hurried through the task, hoping the water wouldn’t soak through his sleeves and get the metal in his arm wet.

When the last of Shiro’s clothes had been moved, he started up the dryer and resumed his previous lean against the machine. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and pulled up Matt’s contact again, opening the conversation.

**Shiro: Get any viruses yet?**

Matt responded almost instantly.

**Matt: Yep**

**Matt: Swimming in viruses**

**Matt: Whatever shall I do**

**Shiro: Its funny until it actually happens**

**Matt: Well that must be why I always find it funny**

**Shiro: Does that mean next time I get a virus I just have to give my computer to you, and you’ll fix it?**

**Matt: You could**

**Matt: But that thing is ancient**

**Matt: Idk how it’s still running**

**Shiro: I’ll make sure I buy a new one next time I win the lottery**

**Matt: I’d say same but I just got myself a new one recently**

**Matt: IT work pays well**

**Shiro: Unfortunately being a student does not**

**Matt: Tru**

**Matt: If I didn’t have my scholarships I’d probably be working at McDonalds right now**

**Shiro: If I didn’t have my scholarships I would probably have been hit by a bus leaving work at McDonalds at 3am by now**

**Matt: Same**

**Shiro: ?**

**Matt:**

**Matt: Do you ever go on social media**

**Matt: And are you SURE you’re not 90**

**Shiro: I mean I look like I’m 90, but no, I’m not**

**Matt: Nah you look pretty young**

**Matt: You’re just built like a tank**

**Shiro: Thanks :l**

**Matt: Of course ;)**

**Matt: Though speaking of tanks**

**Matt: The main dude in the movie we’re gonna watch**

**Matt: His biceps are literally the size of my head**

**Shiro: Yeah**

**Matt: How is that even possible he could probably bench a car**

**Matt: Could you bench a car?**

**Shiro: I can’t say I’ve ever tried**

**Shiro: Nor will I**

**Matt: I’ll eat my shirt**

**Shiro: Okay where did you get that idea from**

**Shiro: Do you actually want to eat your shirt or something**

**Shiro: Should I be concerned**

**Matt: You need to go on the internet more**

**Matt: I’m making you a Tumblr**

**Shiro: What’s a Tumbler?**

**Matt: Omg**

**Matt:**

**Matt:**

**Shiro: ?**

**Matt: Grandma**

**Shiro:**

**Matt: After the movie I’m teaching you about social media**

**Matt: If only my sister wasn’t busy she knows more than I do**

**Shiro: Does your sister have one of those, uh, Tumblers?**

**Matt: Its TUMBLR no e**

**Shiro: Why?**

**Matt:**

**Matt: I’ll explain later**

**Shiro: Good timing**

**Shiro: My dryer is almost finished**

**Matt: Finish up with you clothes grandma**

**Shiro: Respect your elders**

**Matt: :p**

**Shiro:**

**Shiro: is this 2010**

**Matt: :0**

**Matt: :000000**

**Matt: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU’RE A GRANDMA**

**Shiro: I have a younger brother with very extroverted friends**

**Shiro: So I know a few things**

**Matt: So that’s how you’ve survived this long**

**Shiro: Are you sure its not because I am, as you said before, ‘built like a tank’**

**Matt: I mean that only helps if you get hit by a bus**

**Matt: Or need to carry pet food**

**Shiro: What if you’re stuck somewhere and need to move heavy objects to clear a path out**

**Matt: In that case, I, someone built like a spaghetti noodle, would simply slip through the cracks in the rubble**

**Shiro:**

**Matt: I win**

**Shiro: I don’t think that would work**

**Matt: Of course it would**

**Shiro: I think you watch too many movies**

**Matt: And that’s why I would survive**

**Shiro: You do realize those are all set up in a certain way so that things that would be impossible are possible**

**Matt: Of course**

**Matt: Doesn’t mean it would 100% not work tho**

**Matt:**

**Matt:**

**Shiro:**

**Matt: -_-**

**Matt: If you’re gonna make me fix your computer viruses then next time I get stuck behind a large pile of heavy debris I’m calling you**

**Shiro: Sure**

**Matt: Wait**

**Matt: Isn’t your laundry done**

**Matt: The machines at laundromats kinda suck**

**Matt: One of the other IT guys left his clothes in a dryer for an hour after it finished and everything shrank**

**Shiro: Shit**

Shiro pocketed his phone and turned just as the dryer rumbled to a stop, making him exhale in relief. He’d never had the time to stand around after his clothes finished, always getting dirty looks when he took even one extra second to open and unload the machine after it finished its cycle. Due to that, he didn’t know if he would suffer the same fate as the unnamed IT student. However, his wallet could not handle the financial burden that would come with buying all new clothes if he ever tried to find out.

Despite not needing to rush, Shiro found himself unloading his dryer as fast as ever. He folded his clothing quickly and efficiently, filling up his bags with neat stacks in mere minutes. He was walking out of the laundromat with his bags slung over his shoulders in less than five minutes, checking the time to make sure he could make it back to his dorm to drop off his things without needing to rush to the theater. With about an hour left until the planned meeting time, he was in no rush. Though for some reason, he was driving a few miles over the speed limit on his way back to the university, thankfully never encountering any cops.

-000-

Ten minutes before 4pm, Shiro pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. He was earlier than planned, having dropped off his things in his dorm and left again in record time, only stopping to double-check Eurus’s food and water and scratch under her ears. He was early to many things though, having made a habit out of it during his time in the military. For a fighter pilot, tardiness could change everything.

Entering the building, Shiro scanned the lobby for a familiar head of sandy hair. He looked once, then twice, but didn’t see Matt anywhere, so he moved to a bench in the corner and sat down. Shiro pulled out his phone and opened up his conversation with Matt, checking for new messages before sending his own.

**Shiro:** I’m here

Shiro clicked the power button and set his phone down on his lap, glancing up to look for Matt again. Instead of finding the IT student, he discovered a few people staring at him, some whispering to each other. It made him drop his gaze, tugging subconsciously on his sleeves and gloves as if his right arm was exposed to the world. While he knew it wasn’t, he felt like it was under the weight of the gazes of others.

As he grew anxious, Shiro found himself fiddling with his phone. He would pick it up, turn it on, type in his passcode, turn it off, turn it back on again, set it down, pick it back up, type in his passcode again, pull up his conversation with Matt, scroll through the recent messages, turn the phone off, set it back down, pick it up, and continue on and on. He didn’t go out often, spending a lot of time either at home or in isolated areas. He drew stares wherever he went, and even after a few years of it, the discomfort he felt never faded.

As if the universe had noticed his suffering, a distraction was quick to arrive. Someone walked up to his table, standing there without saying anything as they waited for Shiro to take notice. When he did, Shiro smiled.

“Hey, Matt.”

Shiro stood, pocketing his phone as Matt nodded toward the counter. The two headed over to the lines and stepped in at the end, waiting to buy their tickets.

“Good thing the ads last a solid twenty minutes. The line is pretty long and they look a bit understaffed today,” Matt pointed out, going up on his toes to see the counter through the snaking line of people.

Shiro nodded in agreement. “I didn’t even think about getting in line when I got here. I should have gotten the tickets sooner,” he said with a sigh.

Matt shrugged. “Next time.”

Shiro found himself stiffening, his eyes widening a fraction at Matt’s words. Sure, they had officially established their friendship already, but the way Matt talked about the future so casually, so sure their friendship wouldn’t crumble anytime soon, was very foreign to Shiro. It had been a while since someone had spoken to him like that, and he realized very quickly that the warmth the words left behind went a great way toward taming the cold of isolation that had settled within him.

The pair waited in silence, Matt on his phone as Shiro glanced between him and the counter. Slowly, the line inched forward until they were at the front, then waved over to a register.

Shiro nudged Matt with his elbow and nodded toward the register. Matt slipped his phone back into his pocket and followed Shiro over, stopping just behind him to wrestle his wallet out of his pocket.

“Could we get two tickets for Fallout, please?” Shiro asked, wallet already open and in hand. The woman behind the register nodded, typing something into the tablet on her register. A moment later the tickets were printing, and Shiro was handing over $25.

As Shiro stepped away from the register, pocketing his wallet, Matt spoke. “I could have paid for that myself.”

Shiro shrugged. “You were having trouble getting your wallet, especially with your arm hurt, so I can cover it for you today,” he pointed out.

Matt frowned, but after a moment he sighed in defeat.

“Fine, but I’ll pay for your ticket next time.”

Shiro stiffened once more after hearing those words again. ‘Next time’ wasn’t something he was familiar with, and hearing such a strong, confident pair of words that defined a good future used twice in less than half an hour was a bit unnerving to him. He didn’t know what to say or what do. Instead, he decided to shrug vaguely and not give a real response.

The pair made there way to their auditorium, opening the doors to find the room packed to the brim. The sheer number of people made Shiro wince, and had he been alone, he would have turned around and walked out. However, he was with Matt this time, and the IT student was quick to plunge in and search for seats. Shiro followed, crossing his arms tightly and hunching his shoulders in an attempt to make himself smaller and avoid touching people.

Matt eventually located two seats next to each other in a row near the front, but reaching them required walking past a group of people who had claimed the end seats. The idea made Shiro wince yet again, as he absolutely _hated_ being in such close proximity to people. The way his legs brushed their knees as he tried to maneuver his hulking mass of a body down the row left him extremely uncomfortable, and it only got worse when the people looked up at him and stiffened upon seeing his strange tuft of white hair and the long, pink scar that stretched over the bridge of his nose. The way they leaned away from him just a little more than necessary, moving on instinct as their brains recognized Shiro as something different, something they should avoid, filled Shiro’s chest with ice.

Once the pair reached their seats and sat down, Shiro exhaled deeply. He let his eyes slip closed momentarily, focusing on relaxing his muscles and calming his racing heart as the voices from the dozens of other people in the auditorium filled his ears and sent his anxiety skyrocketing.

A sudden weight on Shiro’s left arm made him jump, his heart skipping a beat. He leaned away on instinct, hid head whipping to the side as his eyes searched for the culprit. Shiro found himself staring at Matt, who was looking at him with a concerned expression, his hand hanging in the air where it had been on Shiro’s arm before the older man pulled away.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked, looking at Shiro’s widened eyes.

Shiro sighed, slumping back in his chair. His arm brushed Matt’s hand again when he moved, though Matt dropped his hand the instant it happened.

“Yea, I’m fine. There are just a lot of people here,” Shiro admitted, running his hand over his face as if that would wipe away every visible trace of his anxiety.

“Oh. Do you need to leave? We can always come back at another time when it’s not as busy,” Matt offered, putting his hands on his arm rests as he prepared to stand.

Shiro waved a hand in the air dismissively, shaking his head. “No, no. I’m fine,” he assured, though he was lying through his teeth. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to go somewhere that wasn’t so crowded, and he could feel his nerves humming with adrenaline.

While Shiro had been in crowded places before and been just fine, such as when he went to the cafeteria at the university or the laundromat in the evening when half the campus was there, there were some places he couldn’t stand. Those other places he was fine in had more than one door leading in and out, were well-lit, and he wasn’t surrounded by people who were an inch away from him. He could move around instead of being stuck in one small seat for two whole hours, pulling his shoulders in so he wouldn’t touch the people at his sides. On the other hand, any concerts, movies, games in any sport, or any other large gathering of tightly-packed people were all too close for comfort. Shiro avoided those situations as often as possible, though it wasn’t as if he had the money to go do much anyway. All he could actually afford out of all the places he didn’t like was the movie theater. However, movies had multiple showtimes for multiple days, leaving him with the option of finding a time where the movie he wanted to see wasn’t quite new anymore and not busy at all. That’s typically when he would go, as there were rarely more than a dozen others in the auditorium with him.

On any other day, Shiro never would have gone to a movie just days after its release. However, he’d been excited to see Matt again, and it hadn’t even struck him that the movie they were going to see was from a popular franchise and would likely be packed. The thought made Shiro mentally kick himself for not thinking.

Loud, dramatic music pulled Shiro from his thoughts, and he looked up to see the movie starting. The sounds of others in the auditorium were drowned out, and Shiro felt instant relief. While he knew there were still dozens of others in the room, not being able to hear them made him feel less cramped and anxious. There was also something for him to focus on, and sure enough, the movie had all of his attention after just a few minutes.

However, to Shiro’s misfortune, he found himself zoning out by the halfway point. The movie had started out great, capturing the attention of the entire audience. However, as it continued, the quality dipped. By the halfway point, it was rather clear that the franchise would have been better off ending with the previous movie. The plot was boring, and the main character was too generic. No one was looking for another movie with some steroid-pumped white guy running away from explosions and kissing the one and only woman in the movie who had more than four lines because he’d suddenly captured her heart. No one cared when she nearly died, but was saved by the main character at the last last minute. There was none of the creative flair from the movie’s predecessors.

A little before two-thirds of the way through, Shiro felt something touch his arm again and looked over at Matt, expecting to hear him complain about how horrible the movie was. Instead, he found himself looking down at closed eyes and a relaxed face.

Matt was out cold, slumped in his seat with his head against the back of his chair. It lolled to the side, tapping Shiro’s arm whenever he twitched or moved in his sleep.

Unsure of what to do, Shiro simply stared. Did he wake him up, or did he just let him sleep? Matt had been excited for the movie, but it was garbage and not worth the time it took to watch through the end. Matt had also been up very late the previous night due to his accident at home and probably needed the sleep.

In the end, Shiro decided to leave Matt alone. His body tensed as he struggled to not move an inch, worried he might bump into Matt if he moved and wake him. He continued watching the movie, hoping it would recover and have a high-quality ending, only to be further disappointed. Having lost all interest in the movie, Shiro went back and forth between watching it and glancing at Matt, who slumbered on.

Once the movie ended and people began to clear out so the ushers could clean, Shiro lifted a hand to carefully tap Matt on the shoulder. He didn’t wake up. Shiro frowned and tried again, this time shaking him gently. Matt stirred, but his eyes didn’t open.

As the number of people in the auditorium dwindled, Shiro was running out of ideas. He didn’t want to be loud and draw attention, and he couldn’t shake Matt too much without possibly agitating the burns on the boy’s forearm.

With the ushers glaring at them for not clearing out, Shiro grabbed Matt’s shoulder and shook him gently, then used his other hand to lightly pat the uninjured side of his face as he called his name.

“Matt.” No response.

“Matt.” Still nothing.

“Matthew!” he called just slightly louder. It seemed to do the trick, because Matt moved and his eyes blinked open.

“What…” he mumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes. When he looked up again, his eyes scanning the auditorium and coming to rest on Shiro, they widened, and he jumped upright. “SHIT I FELL ASLEEP!”

Shiro smiled, suppressing a chuckle.

“Don’t worry. It sucked,” he assured. Matt sighed.

“Yeah, true. Before I fell asleep it was already pretty trash. Did it not get better?”

“It got worse as it went on,” Shiro stated, getting to his feet.

Matt nodded and stood, rubbing his eyes again as he walked toward the end of the row. Shiro followed, the two of them hurrying past the ushers who finally were able to start cleaning.

In the lobby, Matt stopped at the drinking fountain. When he finished, he wiped the water from his face with his good arm and turned to Shiro.

“Sorry about that. The movie was pretty boring and I didn’t sleep much last night. I’m also taking painkillers that make me feel like I just pulled four all-nighters in a row,” Matt explained, gesturing to his cheek and his bandaged arm.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah, I understand,” he assured, though he didn’t explain himself. He didn’t quite feel like sharing the more complicated details yet.

The pair left the theater and stood outside, where Matt called his dad for a ride. Once he was done, he turned to Shiro.

“Well, even if the movie sucked, it was nice to get out. Text me next time you’re free, and we can see about a movie that’s better,” Matt suggested. “I’ll try not to fall asleep during that one, too.”

Shiro smiled, nodding. “Yeah, sure. And do you want me to stick around until your dad gets here?” he offered, looking around. It was nearing 7pm, and while it wasn’t dark yet, the sun was dipping closer and closer to the horizon. Shiro didn’t feel right just leaving Matt by himself, even though Matt was an adult capable of taking care of himself.

“That’s alright. He’ll be here soon. Besides, if he sees you he’ll start asking a bunch of questions. I don’t hang around people much outside the tech center, so my parents always get curious about the few things I spend a lot of time on that aren’t computers,” he joked.

Shiro nodded, but still didn’t want to leave. “Well, I need to call my brother to make sure he’s staying out of trouble, so I’ll be over by my car for a while if you need anything.”

Matt gave Shiro a smile that Shiro returned before heading for his car. Once he got there he pulled out his phone, tapped the screen randomly a few times, then put it up to his ear. He had just called Keith a few days ago, and didn’t have any reason to be doing it again. The only two reasons for his actions were Matt’s discomfort about Shiro being around when his dad arrived and Shiro’s unease about leaving Matt on his own.

“Hey, what’s up?” Shiro said to literally no one, figuring he should put on a good show in case anyone saw him. He didn’t want to seem like some creepy old dude staring at a rather small and weak-looking young man standing alone on the sidewalk. The last thing he needed was to get arrested, as he could potentially lose his scholarships and be forced to drop out of college.

Shiro kept his eyes on Matt as he continued his fake conversation, walking around the front of his car a few times as if he was absentmindedly wandering while talking. He kept up this act until a car pulled into the parking lot and slowed to a stop next to Matt.

Running over to the passenger side and opening the door, Matt waved at Shiro before getting in. Shiro returned the wave, then wrapped up his fake conversation as the car pulled away. Once they were gone, Shiro pocketed his phone and dropped into the driver’s seat of his own vehicle. Taking a tired breath, he buckled up, turned the key in the ignition, and headed home.

-000-

Upon reaching his dorm, Shiro was feeling tired enough to go to bed. He was behind on sleep, and a few extra hours didn’t sound too bad. However, as he picked up items that he’d thrown sloppily around the room in the past few days when he was in a hurry, he came across his homework. He’d left it on his nightstand so he would remember to do it, though he internally cursed himself for forgetting to bring it with him to the laundromat as he had planned. He honestly had no interest in it at the moment, though as a responsible student who always did his work, he had no choice but to complete it.

After finishing his cleaning and checking to make sure Eurus had food, water, and a clean litter box, he sat down on his bed with the homework and a pencil. It took him a few hours and a couple frustrated sighs to finish it, and once he did, he stuffed it a little too aggressively into his bag. The lack of sleep was catching up to him, and he was starting to feel a bit cranky.

With a little under eight hours until he had to get up in the morning, Shiro rushed through his nightly routine and dropped gracelessly onto his bed. He didn’t even bother with any blankets despite the chilly October air, closing his eyes and calling for sleep to claim him. Shiro was so tired that he didn’t even have the energy to check his phone when he heard it chirp on the nightstand, already half asleep.


	15. DAD!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Surprise update! I'm supposed to be doing homework, but the site the college uses has gone down for the 4th time since classes started about three weeks ago. I figured I'd update while I wait for it to be fixed, because I honestly don't know when else I might do it. The semester has just started but between work and school I leave my house at 6:30 in the morning and don't get home until anywhere from 8:30-9pm four days a week. Then I have a week's worth of homework from two AP classes, a regular high school class, and three college classes that I need to get done in the little free time I have on Fridays after school and Sundays before work, then whatever I can fit in on Saturdays. Yes, I am busy, and yes, I understand that some of you may believe I should stop complaining and go on hiatus or drop writing for the semester, but I really enjoy writing this story and the comments I've received always make my day. I can't be sure when I'll publish, whether it’s in one week or three, but I'm doing what I can to make sure I keep writing this story. It probably will still be going even after Voltron itself comes to an end in November, but I hope you guys will still stick with it.
> 
> So thank to everyone who has read this story, whether you found it just after I posted for the first time and have stuck with it ever since or if you just found it yesterday and decided to give it a chance. I appreciate each and every comment, reader, and kudos I have received. I hope you will all continue to enjoy this story as it continues and stick with it until it comes to a close.

Throughout the next two weeks, Shiro and Matt texted often. They didn’t meet up to do anything besides eat lunch on the weekends, Matt under strict orders to be careful with his cheek and arm as the bandages had soon been removed. Sure enough, the mark on Matt’s cheek had left behind a scar, though thankfully his arm made a full recovery.

“Well, I guess we kind of match now,” Matt pointed out while he and Shiro ate their lunch on the third weekend of the month. He gestured at Shiro’s nose, tracing the scar that stretched across it in the air with his finger before doing the same with his own.

“Well I hope not,” Shiro blurted, his mind on the many other scars that crisscrossed his entire body.

The comment caused Matt to pause, his head tilting slightly in confusion as he stared at Shiro. It made the older man panic, and he waved his hand dismissively as he tried to backpedal. “I just mean that my scar tends to uh, kind of intimidate people. I’d hope that yours doesn’t have the same effect. It can lead to some pretty uncomfortable situations, and people aren’t always very nice about it,” he explained, digging his grave deeper with each word. He was slapping himself internally with every syllable, willing himself to just _stop talking immediately please_.

Matt frowned. “Really? It’s just a scar. I mean, I guess if people are wondering how you got it they might come up with something strange, but… I don’t get what the big deal is. I mean, anything can leave scars, not just traumatic events or deadly situations,” he pointed out. He then gestured to his own face. “Case in point. Dog, plus food, plus knife, equals ow.”

Shiro couldn’t help but chuckle at Matt’s words, which he found both funny and assuring. He had never really known exactly what Matt thought about the scar on the bridge of his nose, and it was nice to know that he really didn’t mind it at all. It calmed one writhing tendril of anxiety within him, bringing just the slightest bit of relief.

“That’s true. My brother’s friend has a scar on his leg from when he was petting someone’s dog and it stepped on him and scratched him pretty good. I’ve heard some of the explanations he comes up with to make it seem like he got it doing something badass, and they’re all pretty bad,” Shiro admitted.

The two continued talking, finishing their food and dumping their trash before going outside. They headed toward the IT Center, as Matt was working that day, talking casually about whatever as they had been. Their friendship had grown much more comfortable as they hung out more, and when they texted until the early hours of the morning their exhaustion loosened the anxious filters on their minds and made any conversation easy. Conversations that might have once been awkward were casual and smooth, and sharing strange thoughts and stories had made them feel more comfortable talking to each other about almost anything.

In front of the IT Center, they stopped and turned to face each other.

“So, do you want to go do something now that you’re healed?” Shiro asked. He felt anxious offering to make plans, knowing he would feel horrible about rejection even if it was for a good reason. Thankfully, Matt nodded.

“Sure. What do you wanna do?” he asked. Shiro froze. He hadn’t expected that he would get this far.

“Uh, I mean, is there anything in particular that you want to do?” he asked, dodging the question. He hadn’t come up with any ideas, his mind occupied with going over the simple line ‘do you want to go do something’ over and over out of fear that he would stutter or misspeak.

“Hm.” Matt bit his lip as he thought, and Shiro found himself staring. He quickly looked around to avert his gaze, hoping Matt wouldn’t catch him and think he was being creepy.

After almost half a minute, Matt finally spoke. “How about…. Ice skating?”

Shiro stiffened, well aware that he had never gone ice skating once in his life and would probably end up falling more than skating.

Matt seemed to pick up on Shiro’s sudden tension, because he put his hands up and backpedaled. “I mean it’s fine if you don’t want to. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I used to go a lot with my mom and little sister. It was really fun, but we don’t have to…” he trailed off, talking quickly. It was then Shiro’s turn to backpedal.

“No, that sounds good. I just, uh…. I’ve never actually skated before. I’m not sure that I’d be any good. You might end up dragging me off the ice after I manage to knock myself unconscious from falling so many times,” he explained awkwardly, feeling his face heat up in slight embarrassment.

Matt smiled. “Oh, that’s fine. I can teach you!” he offered excitedly.

“S-sure,” Shiro agreed, answering before taking any time to consider. Matt’s expression was full of excitement, and it made Shiro accept the offer before he could even think about declining, not that he would have been able to. There was no way he could have shut Matt down when he looked that happy.

“Great! Okay, uh, I’ll look up the schedule and send it to you. Just let me know when you’re free, and we can find a time,” Matt explained, pulling out his phone. Shiro nodded.

“Okay, but, uh, don’t forget about your work. I don’t want your professor to get mad at me for distracting you,” the older man joked. Matt shook his head.

“He wouldn’t get mad, though I do need to go now. I’ll talk to you later!” he promised, eyes still full of light as he jogged toward the building, scrolling on his phone with one hand while using the other to open the door.

Shiro watched Matt go with a small smile, then once the young man was out of sight, he headed for his dorm.

-000-

Tuesday morning, Shiro found himself parking at the local civic center. He entered the building hesitantly, then sighed in relief when he noticed that the ice rink was straight past the entrance. There was one room in front of it with the rental counter, lockers, and benches, then a wall of windows and a set of double doors that lead to the rink.

Looking around, Shiro was relieved to find that Matt had beaten him there. The younger man was in the middle of tying on his skates, and he looked up when Shiro approached.

“You’re here!” he exclaimed, knotting his laces before getting to his feet. Shiro nodded, then rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he looked around.

“There are kind of a lot of people, isn’t there?” he asked.

Matt looked around, his eyes scanning over the room as he took in the number of others. There was just over a dozen.

"Nah. It’s really busy in the winter, though. All the rentals sell out and the ice is so crowded that they pull people off after they’ve been out there for a while. This is nothing,” he explained, gesturing to the others in the room.

Shiro nodded, then approached the rental booth to get skates. He returned to the bench Matt had just been occupying and sat to put the skates on. He began tying them like normal shoes, but then Matt shook his head and knelt down, holding out his hands. Confused, Shiro hesitantly handed the laces over.

Matt started at the front, pulling the laces tight in every spot before he reached Shiro’s ankle. He then crisscrossed the laces, pulling them tight as he looped them around the hooks on the sides of the boots. They were so tight that Shiro didn’t think he’d be able to move his ankles at all, but Matt started to explain how tighter skates made control much easier, and Shiro was thankful for the help.

Once Matt finished tying both of his skates, Shiro looked down at the blades. His own were simple, a single blade extending from the bottom of the boot to the ground. However Matt’s were different. They had holes in the blade, and the front edges were serrated.

“Why are they different?” Shiro asked, gesturing to the boots.

“Yours are hockey skates. They’re easier to use, and the blades are simpler. Mine are figure skates. They have toe picks in the front for jumps and other tricks, but anyone who isn’t used to them tends to catch the picks on the ice and trip,” Matt explained, pointing at the blades as he spoke.

Shiro nodded, then followed Matt as the IT student headed for the rink. The room was chilly, and Shiro already knew that it wouldn’t be long before his arm started to hurt. While he was wearing his usual gloves and long sleeves, they wouldn’t offer much protection to the metal in his flesh.

Matt lead Shiro to a short door that led to the ice, and stepped into the rink as if he were going for a walk. He moved away slightly, then turned and waited for Shiro with a smile on his face.

Nervously, Shiro put a hesitant skate on the ice, then tried to step forward. His foot slipped immediately, and he grabbed the wall next to him to stay upright. In front of him, Matt started laughing, and Shiro felt heat rush to his face in embarrassment.

“Come on. You won’t be able to learn if all you do it stand there holding the wall,” Matt teased, sliding backwards effortlessly.

Shiro attempted to follow, but only ended up slipping again. Too far from the wall, he ended up sprawled facedown on the ice. He could hear Matt laughing quietly again, but when he looked up the IT student had a hand extended to help him up. Shiro accepted it, and attempted to get to his feet. He slipped again when his skate touch the ice, but Matt was there to steady him as he worked his way to his feet. Once he was standing, he brushed the ice from his clothes and looked to Matt for help.

“Okay,” Matt began, widening his stance. “Make sure your feet aren’t together, or it’ll be hard to balance, though they shouldn’t be more than shoulder length apart or your skates might slip and make you regret being alive.”

Shiro edged his feet a few inches apart, holding his arms out to the sides as he fought to stay balanced on the thin blades.

“Now, when you move, you don’t move like you’re walking,” Matt explained, turning around so his back was to Shiro. “Watch my feet. You push off back and out, leaning most of your weight on your other foot. The one that you push off with doesn’t even need to leave the ice. You can slide it back up to the front foot, then switch and push off with the other. You just kinda go back and forth, and you’ll eventually be able to build up enough speed that you can just coast.”

Matt pushed off, giving an example and he effortlessly skated away, getting faster and faster as he looped back around and stopped in front of Shiro. “Now you try.”

Shiro took a breath, then tried to move just as Matt had instructed. Unfortunately, he leaned forward too much and lost his balance. He fell onto the ice again.

After getting up, Shiro was preparing himself for trying to skate again, but he stopped when the view of his skates was obstructed by two hands. He looked up to see Matt holding out his hands, palms up.

“I won’t be able to catch you if you fall, but I can help you at least try to keep your balance,” he offered.

Shiro nodded, then hesitantly reached out to grab Matt’s wrists. Matt did the same to him, and Shiro closed his eyes for a moment and hoped that Matt either couldn’t feel the metal through the cuffs of his gloves and shirt or believed the strange cold and hardness was due to the temperature and bony wrists. The younger man didn’t say anything, so Shiro figured he might not have noticed.

With the anxiety over his arm shoved into the shadows of his mind, Shiro tried to push off and move forward. He succeeded once, then twice, though he was only on his feet because Matt was steady enough to help hold him up. Unfortunately though, his foot soon slipped and he tumbled. Just as Matt had predicted, he could not keep Shiro from falling, and the older man ended up back on the ice.

For the next hour, Shiro slowly learned how to skate with the patient help of Matt, who quite literally helped him every step of the way. Shiro fell a lot, but eventually reached the point where he could skate on his own. He wavered and slipped, his movements far from graceful, but he could do it. He was getting quite proud of himself, and found himself smiling.

Just a few minutes before the open skating ended and the rink closed for the zamboni, Shiro and Matt were skating side by side when someone flew past Shiro and knocked into him. The other person managed to recover and keep moving, but Shiro was an amateur who didn’t stand a chance. He fell forward and to the side. Matt reflexively attempted to catch him, but the falling mass that was Shiro proved to be too heavy a load for him to handle. The pair fell, Matt about to be crushed under the weight of Shiro.

Afraid of hurting Matt, Shiro stopped flailing his arms in an attempt to stay upright and grabbed his friend, twisting them at the last second so they fell on their sides, Matt’s head protected by Shiro’s good arm and his fall broken. Unfortunately, that caused Shiro to take the full impact. Unlike when he’d fallen before, he could not break his own fall with his hands or shield his head with his arms. He landed hard on the ice, his vision blanking momentarily.

For a few seconds, Shiro couldn’t move. His side ached, and he knew he’d have some impressive bruises in an hour. He felt Matt move next to him, sitting upright and changing position so he was kneeling next to Shiro.

“Shiro? Are you okay?!” Matt asked, slightly panicked.

Shiro sighed, fighting to at least sit up so Matt wouldn’t worry as much. His hand went to the side of his head, rubbing a tender spot gently as it throbbed.

“I’m fine. What about you?” he asked, looking Matt over. He couldn’t see any bruises, but he also knew they wouldn’t appear for a while.

“You broke my fall, so I’m fine. I think it might be a good time to call it a day, though,” Matt suggested. Shiro nodded.

The two got to their feet, Shiro struggling due to the pulsing ache from his side. People were staring at them, so they tried to move fast. However, Shiro couldn’t go too fast with his lack of skating experience, and he was slowed even further by his injuries.

Once off the ice, Shiro quickly returned his rentals and waited outside for Matt. The younger man emerged with his phone in hand, closing a call.     

“My dad will be here soon to get me, so you can go,” Matt explained, his eyes on the ground. “Sorry about today. We don’t have to go again.”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked, genuinely confused.

Matt’s head flew up as he turned to look at Shiro, his expression lost.

“You fell quite a bit, and that last fall was pretty bad. Didn’t that bother you?” he questioned.

Shiro shook his head, then smiled as he lifted his hand to grab Matt’s shoulder.

“I had fun, really. I’d love to go again,” he assured.

Matt’s eyes widened in surprise, then his face split into a small grin. He nodded, and Shiro felt warmth flare in his chest despite the cold that lingered somewhat painfully in his right arm.

“Oh that’s him,” Matt said suddenly, glancing past Shiro and locking his eyes on an approaching vehicle. It slowed to a stop a safe distance away, and when Shiro turned to look, he was blinded by the light of the sunset and couldn’t see inside.

“I’ll text you later, Shiro!” Matt promised, jogging toward the car. He opened the door and got in, then Shiro smiled and turned to head for his own vehicle.

Despite the way his side ached, Shiro was happy. The day had been great, and he actually did have fun. He was looking forward to skating with Matt again, and hoped it would be sometime soon. In the meantime, he decided it might be a good idea to look up some tutorials.

-000-

The next day, in his aviation class, Shiro found himself fighting yawn after yawn. He hadn’t slept well the night before, and class that day was in the classroom. The students were studying rules and regulations from the federal aviation administration, all of them reading through enormous packets containing up-to-date information.

Unlike the other students, who had never flown a plane outside of class, Shiro was well versed in the rules and regulations. He always skimmed for new and updated rules when the class was tasked with looking them over, but he knew all of the other ones. That meant he spent the majority of the hour that they were given to read waiting for the next task.

“Stupid piece of…” Con muttered as he poked at the projector in the front of the room. It wasn’t working, and even the students had no idea what was going on or how to fix it. He’d extended the reading time by ten minutes when the timer went off and the projector was not in working order. With the extension reaching it’s end, he had made no progress.

The students were starting to get antsy as they waited for their instructors to get the next lesson started, but the class was nearing it’s end for the day.

“Well, I can have my son come take a look. He works at the IT Center, so he’ll be here in a few minutes. I can’t say we’ll have this up and running before we’re out of time, though,” Holt explained, sighing in defeat.

Con was silent for a moment, his eyes narrowed at the projector, then he finally gave in.

“Fine. Class dismissed, but bring notebooks for notes on Friday when this piece of junk is actually working,” the man ordered. The students all stood a little too quickly, leaving the room in a hurry as they hoped the projector wouldn’t randomly start working again before they made it out the door.

Shiro was the only student remaining less than a minute later, slowly putting his papers and notebook away. He finally let himself yawn as Holt stepped back into the room after calling his son, and the older man raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are you okay, Shiro?” he asked, returning to the projector in search of the issue causing the malfunction.

“Yes, sir. I just haven’t been sleeping well,” Shiro stated shortly. Holt nodded.

“Up all night texting?” he teased, making Shiro stiffen.

“Uh, kinda. I also have insomnia, so its difficult for me to fall asleep. Sometimes I’ll just stay up until I’m tired enough to pass out pretty quick,” he explained. “Though the texting is a more recent thing. It helps pass the time.”

Holt nodded. “I guess. Insomnia can be quite a hassle. Do you not take any medication?” he asked.

Shiro shook his head. “No, sir. A few years ago I was prescribed a lot of stuff, but I could never afford any of it, so I never took anything. My brother’s friend did bring me some melatonin once when his mom found out about my insomnia, but I ended up sleeping for nearly twenty hours and missed my shift at work. No one could get me to wake up, so I haven’t taken it since.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” Holt said with a pinch of pity, returning to his work.

Shiro finished packing his bag and got to his feet to leave just as Con’s phone began to ring. The instructor pulled it out and read the caller ID, which made him frown.

“I need to take this call. Shirogane, can you help out Commander Holt?” he asked, though he didn’t stay to wait for answer. Instead he stepped out of the room to take the call.

Setting his bag back on his desk, Shiro moved to stand next to Holt. He looked over the projector in search of anything that might have come loose, but he was completely lost when it came to technology. There was nothing wrong with it that he could see.

Shiro’s search for any visible problems was interrupted when the door to the classroom opened and Matt stepped in. He had a small tool bag in his hand, likely packed with equipment from the IT Center. When his eye met Shiro’s, he started to smile, but he froze when he saw Holt.

Shiro glanced back and forth between the two, then after a moment, his eyes widened and he stiffened. It hit him that Holt had said he was calling _his son_ , and now Matt was there to fix the projector.

“Matt, you’re here,” Holt greeted, seeming oblivious to his son’s shock. “We’ve been looking for nearly twenty minutes but can’t tell why this isn’t working,” he explained, gesturing to the projector.

Matt didn’t move, still frozen at the door. Slowly, his shocked expression turned into a mixture of confusion and surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead he just stared, pointing back and forth between Holt and Shiro.

“Is something wrong?” Holt asked, appearing genuinely confused. He took a step toward his son, concern building within him.

“You have him _in your class?!?!_ ” Matt asked loudly, gaping. Holt nodded, and Matt stared. “And you two _talk?!_ ” the IT student continued. Holt nodded again.

“Of course. Shiro is a great student with a genuine interest in aviation and a lot of talent. It’s difficult to find someone so dedicated and knowledgeable,” the man explained, gesturing to Shiro as he spoke. “Also, I’ve heard nothing but good things about him from you,” Holt added.

Shiro felt a bit embarrassed, though he knew what he felt did not even come close to comparing to Matt’s current struggle. The young man’s cheeks was so hot that Shiro swore he could feel the heat from across the room, and his entire face looked like it had been painted red.

“ _DAD!_ ” Matt groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

“What? You two are good friends, aren’t you? There’s nothing wrong with talking about your friends,” Holt stated.

“Yeah, but not when you’re parents _actually know the person!_ ” Matt complained.

Holt paused. “Didn’t I tell you Shiro was one of my students?” he asked.

“NO!” Matt screeched, his voice cracking.

Holt turned to Shiro, who was looking between his instructor and friend awkwardly. “Didn’t I tell you Matt worked at the IT Center when I recommended it to you?” he questioned.

Shiro shook his head, not trusting his voice. He feared it would be very high-pitched if he spoke, as his own face had started going red as the conversation progressed.         

“Wow. I guess I forgot to mention that,” Holt said to himself. He shrugged, then smiled at Shiro.

“Anyway. Shiro, I’m Samuel Holt, Matt’s dad. You can just call me Sam if you’d like,” he offered, then he paused. “Well, maybe not during class. I don’t want the other students to think I’m playing favorites,” he said with a chuckle.

“Y-Yes, sir,” Shiro stuttered quietly, glancing shyly at the ground as if that would prevent the others from seeing how red his face had gone. Seeing Matt and Sam side by side, he was able to see the resemblance. However, he just couldn’t believe that he hadn’t picked up on the similar gestures between the two and the traces of Sam that were visible in Matt. For nearly three months he hadn’t suspected a thing, which left him feeling like an idiot. His only saving grace was that he only every spoke to Sam about things related to aviation and had never mentioned Matt. Unfortunately for Matt though, it seemed that the younger man could not say he had done the same.

“So, Shiro,” Sam began as Matt finally crossed the room to start working on the projector, “I hear you have a cat?” he asked.

Shiro nodded. “Yes, sir. Her name is Eurus.”

“Isn’t that a Greek god?” Sam questioned, his hand going to his chin as he thought.

“Yes, sir. It was windy when I found her, and I had just read a book with the Greek god Eurus in it. It just seemed fitting at the time,” Shiro explained.

“You found her?”

“She’d been abandoned in a dumpster nearby where I worked. I saw her trying to climb out when I passed by. One of her eyes and patches of her fur were missing, and she looked like she hadn’t eaten in days. I took her home with me, but I didn’t have any cat food or money to buy any, so I ended up giving her milk and some sliced meat. She would rarely let anyone near her for a few weeks, but I came home from work one day to find my brother sleeping on the couch with her asleep on his stomach. I’m not sure what changed her mind, but she was really friendly after that,” Shiro said.

“Ah. She must have taken a liking to your brother. Is he taking care of her while you’re in school?”

“No, actually. I have her with me in my dorm. My brother is usually either at school or work, so he wouldn’t have much time to take care of her. He also goes to his friend’s house a lot. Lance’s mom keeps an eye on him and make sure he’s eating and sleeping enough while I’m not around, or if he’s low on money for groceries. It takes a load off of me, since I don’t have to worry about him going hungry or being stuck by himself all the time. I don’t know what I’d do without her,” Shiro explained, smiling fondly as he thought Lance’s family.

The McClains were a big family packed in one house, but they always had room and a plate for one more. He could remember the day he’d gone to drop Keith off at Lance’s house during the break between the fall and spring semesters in his first year of college. He’d pulled out his wallet and taken out the last of his cash to give to Keith for lunch money, since their odd family situation barred Keith from free lunch despite their low income. Keith had refused it even though he’d run out days ago, and Shiro had to fight him to take it in front of Lance’s entire family. After Keith stormed off, followed by Lance and all his siblings, Shiro approached Lance’s parents and apologized for making a scene, thanking them for having Keith over. He then asked them to take the money Keith had refused and give it to him after Shiro himself had left, so then Keith wouldn’t be able to return it and would have no choice but to use it. Mrs. McClain had grabbed Shiro by the shoulders and told him to keep his money. She then looked him in the eye and spoke.

_“Don’t worry about Keith while you’re away. We will take care of him. He will never go hungry, and he’ll always be welcome here. A friend of Lance’s is a friend of the whole family, and that includes both you and Keith.”_

Since that day, Shiro had been far more at ease while he was in school. He trusted the McClains deeply, and would never be able to repay them for their kindness. Keith no longer survived on fast food and pasta off the discount shelf at the store. He was no longer unhealthily skinny when Shiro went home at the end of the semester, and he didn’t have to spend every minute of his time out of school at work. Keith no longer had to sit by himself watching reruns on the few basic channels they had on their television, and Shiro had been able to buy himself and Keith reliable smartphones instead of the flip phones they’d had before. The smartphones were the affordable ones that weren’t very fancy, but they worked well for the two of them.

“She sounds like a great person,” Sam remarked.

Shiro nodded. “She is.”

“Well, if you ever run into problems and need some help, feel free to talk to me about it. Matt seems to enjoy having you around, and a friend of his is a friend of the family,” Sam said with a friendly smile that Shiro couldn’t help but return.

It was those words that Shiro had heard twice now, a very meaningful sentence that warmed his heart and made him feel relaxed. _A friend of their’s is a friend of the family_. It was nice to know there were people he could count on, even when he never wanted to burden others with any problems he faced. He’d walk five miles in a snowstorm before he bothered the Holts because his car broke down, or his power went out.

A suddenly yelp of pain drew Shiro from his mind, and he whipped his head around to see Matt shaking out his right hand.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked worriedly, stepping toward Matt.

Matt waved his left hand dismissively, still shaking his right. “Yeah. I just got shocked when I pulled the wrong wire,” he explained, looking at his injured hand. He stopped shaking it, then bent his fingers a few times before deciding he was okay and getting back to the projector.

“Did you find the problem?” Shiro asked, approaching the projector and peeking over Matt’s shoulder at the mass of wires on the inside. It looked like a messy box full of noodles, and Shiro had no idea how Matt knew which wire did what.

“Yeah,” Matt said. “The electricity wasn’t getting to the bulb because the wire was bad. But-“ he pulled a wire out, dropped it on the floor next to him, then pulled a coil from his tool bag along with various other tools, ”that isn’t too difficult to replace.”

Shiro watched as Matt attached a new section of wire, effortless reattaching everything with practiced efficiency. Once he finished, he grabbed the panel he’d pulled off the top and reattached it, then hit the power switch. The projector came to life, good as new.

“Nicely done!” Sam congratulated, clapping Matt gently on the shoulder. Matt grinned, then started putting his tools away.

Shiro returned to his desk and shouldered his bag, preparing to head out and return to his dorm. However, he stopped when Sam called his name.

“I was going to take Matt out for lunch today, but you’re welcome to join us if you’d like. It’s not a movie, so I’m sure Matt won’t fall asleep on you again,” he joked. “He was pretty embarrassed about that when I picked him up.”

“ _DAD!!!_ ” Matt screeched loudly, hanging his head as his face flushed for the twentieth time in the last ten minutes.

“That movie was pretty terrible. I’m surprised I didn’t fall asleep too,” Shiro said lightly in return, taking pity on Matt and attempting to make him feel less embarrassed. “But I think I’m good for today. I have to get back and feed Eurus.”

Sam nodded. “Alright. It was nice talking to you. Have a good day, Shiro,” he said, offering a hand.

Shiro returned the nod and shook Sam’s hand. “You too, sir. And it was nice to officially meet you.”

Shiro turned and headed for the door, though he stopped just as he pulled it open and turned his head to call out behind him. “See you later, Matt,” he said.

Matt waved shyly, his face buried in his free hand. The sight made Shiro smile, and he headed out the door with a dusting of pink on his cheeks.


	16. Midterms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chapter! Thankfully I've been able to settle into some kind of schedule at this point, so I'm hoping to be able to make the chapters a little longer. I'm sorry my updates are so irregular, but even the routine I've gotten into is frequently interrupted, so I can't make any of the reliable posting schedules I used to use earlier on and for past stories. That being said, I'm always glad to see comments from those of you who return for the new chapters and it's nice to know that there are people who are enjoying this story. So thanks again to all readers, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

At the end of the week, Shiro returned to his dorm in the late evening. His mechanics class had stretched far past its usual hours, as midterms were approaching and the professor had stayed behind after class with the offer to help any students who wished to study and wanted more one-on-one time to discuss confusing or difficult topics. As someone who didn’t particularly excel in the field of mechanics, Shiro jumped on the opportunity. Few others did the same, leaving him with plenty of time to go over every piece of material he had questions about without preventing others from talking to the professor.

By the time Shiro had left his class, all the other students were long gone. Shiro and the professor had been the only ones in the room for nearly an entire hour, and while Shiro felt bad for keeping the professor so late, he was also very grateful for the help. His professor was a kind man, and Shiro felt quite comfortable in his presence. Without any classmates staring at him or whispering to each other in the background, Shiro was able to focus much more than usual. It made a huge difference, as Shiro was able to pick up the information he had previously struggled with far quicker than he did in a normal class session.

In his dorm, Shiro carelessly dropped his bag next to the door, walked to his bed, then flopped down on it face-first as a wave of exhaustion struck him. It had been a long week, partly due to the more intense pace within the classroom that professors always incorporated the week before midterms. Shiro had also spent a few late nights studying when he wasn’t doing homework or texting Matt, so he was more behind on sleep than usual.

As if the mental exhaustion wasn’t bad enough, he was suffering through a bit of physical pain as well. Just as expected, his fall while skating with Matt earlier in the week had taken its toll. His entire left side was smattered with bruises, painting his shoulder, hip, and knee a dark brown-purple color. His ribs had dots of green that trailed all the way down his side to his ankles, and there were a few bruises on his left arm where it had struck the ice while shielding Matt. Worst of all were the bruises on the side of his head, ones he could feel the tenderness of just by setting a gentle finger on it.

None of his injuries were anything a few light painkillers from the store couldn’t help, but they were still a bit of an inconvenience. They had affected his sleep because he couldn’t lay on his left side even when no other position was comfortable enough for him to drift off, and he’d winced a few time while moving heavy objects in his classes to the point that Con had stopped to ask if he was okay.

Without the energy to even kick off his shoes, Shiro contemplated simply letting sleep take him as he was. It was a Friday, meaning he didn’t have to worry about any homework yet, and he still had the next two days to study for his midterms on Monday. He didn’t have any plans for the night and didn’t intend to make any, seeing as it was almost 10pm. Eurus wasn’t begging for food, so she likely had enough to last until the morning.

Shiro was still deciding when he felt something in his pocket. At first he was unsure of what it was, though when he felt it again he recognized the source. With enormous effort, Shiro shifted slightly to the side in order to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone, turning his head a fraction so he could see the screen. In his notifications were texts from none other than Matt.

With a newfound rush of energy, Shiro propped himself up on his elbows and unlocked his phone to read the texts.

**Matt: Hey are you still awake?**

**Matt: Cypress had me pick up her shift at the IT Center today so she’s gonna cover my shift tomorrow**

**Matt: So if you wanna hang out or study for midterms I’m free**

**Matt: Well I mean only if you want to**

**Matt: I just thought I’d ask**

Shiro smiled, beginning to type.

**Shiro: Sure**

**Shiro: When do you want to meet?**

Matt responded almost instantly.

**Matt: Idk**

**Matt: 1pm?**

**Shiro: Okay. That works**

**Matt: Cool**

**Matt: But where**

**Matt: I’d say you could come over but the house is currently in the aftermath of one of my sister’s over-the-top science projects**

**Matt: Her physics teacher loves her but honestly even he thinks she should dial it back a bit**

**Matt: Seriously I stepped on a screw she dropped in the hallway**

**Matt: If you thought Legos hurt**

**Matt: Man ive got news for you**

**Shiro: Where is best for you?**

**Matt: Idk**

**Matt: Somewhere at the university would be best**

**Shiro: Want to meet at the library?**

**Matt: Sure**

**Shiro. Okay. See you there**

Shiro hit the power button and tossed his phone aside, then he dropped his face back into his pillow. A small smile crept across his face, and suddenly he didn’t feel quite as exhausted. His whole body felt lighter, as if that simple conversation had filled him with helium.

Rolling off his bed, Shiro got to his feet and walked through his dorm, checking Eurus’ food, water, and litter box, then picked up the backpack he had abandoned at the door to set out the binders full of homework and textbooks. He cleaned up the dorm a little, tossing dirty clothes that had been hurriedly abandoned on the floor into the hamper where they belonged. The small, careless messes he had made throughout his busy week were wiped away, and the dorm was organized again.

Once Shiro finished his sudden cleaning spree, he brushed his teeth and changed his clothes before returning to his bedroom. He shut off the light, dropped onto his newly-made bed, and picked up his now-charging phone. He clicked the power button and watched the screen come to life with a notification from his conversation with Matt.

Unlocking his phone, Shiro found a simple reply.

**Matt: Yep ^-^**

The clearly old-school emoji the tech student had typed out made Shiro let out a small snort of laughter. He felt the sudden urge to send a sarcastic reply, but stopped himself before his thumbs could tap out the message. Since when did he ever send unneeded replies? Since when did he send sarcastic texts at midnight? He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d done it, though he knew his high school-aged self had been enough of a snarky devil to say such a thing. Though that had been, what, seven years ago? Eight?

Suddenly Shiro felt lost and confused. He set his phone on the nightstand next to his bed and tossed his sheet over his body while settling in. His earlier exhaustion returned like a tsunami after the tide of lightness he’d felt earlier rushed away. His feet began to ache and his head throbbed uncomfortably while the bruises on his side pulsed with his heart.

Laying in bed in the darkness of his room, Shiro thought back over the course of the past three months. He started with his initial arrival at the university that semester, the first day of his third-year aviation class, and how unbelievably bland the memories seemed. Aviation had always made him feel happy, feel free, but it had been colorless. He may have been able to enjoy flying, but everything else? His day had been so… boring.

Once he reached his first visit to the IT Center, that awkward moment when Matt had walked in and caught him staring hopelessly at the bell, he found himself with the ghost of a smile on his lips. The smile returned with every memory of returning to the IT Center, of meeting up with Matt for lunch or to just talk. By the time he reached the present day, the moment when he’d looked at the text from Matt and snorted aloud, his smile had grown into a dumb grin. It confused him, and it made him think. Why? They were friends, yes, but how had Matt impacted him so greatly? How had he not noticed how much Matt had changed him? How did he not see the way color had started to seep into his life, genuine smiles cracking his weary face, warmth bringing his cold heart back to life, laughter and words coming to him so easily? How had he been so blind to it all? After years of isolation, he had forgotten what it was all like, to the point that he never recognized the bits and piece of happiness as they came back to him one by one.

Caught between wanting to slap himself or sighing aloud, Shiro turned over to lay on his stomach. He buried his face in his pillow and closed his eyes, surrendering to the oblivion of sleep that had begun to take hold. When Eurus jumped up onto the bed and curled up on his back, he didn’t move, not even when she slipped and scratched him. Shiro was too busy thinking, thoughts of a friend he had grown to value so greatly, a friend who had saved him without him even noticing, morphing into dreams. Perhaps Shiro would have noticed how those, too, had started to fill with color, if only he remembered them when he woke. Perhaps he would have noticed the warm brown that had infiltrated the deepest parts of his mind, calming him as its gentle aura kept the nightmares that had once plagued him frequently at bay.

-000-

The next day, Shiro was running late.

Five minutes before 1pm, he was bolting out of his dorm. He’d completely lost track of time doing homework, and he just happened to notice the time on his phone when he knocked the device off of its resting place on his leg. When he realized he was supposed to meet Matt at the campus library that was a ten minute walk from his dorm in five minutes, he’d jumped up and ran the length of his dorm in mere steps. He didn’t even stop to grab his backpack, reaching down to snatch up one of the straps without slowing. He only cast a backwards glance to double-check Eurus, who hesitated in the doorway to the room with her things as she stared at Shiro.

As athletic as Shiro was, he didn’t think he’d make it to the library on time, though he didn’t dare slow in order to send a text. He knew Matt would understand once he got there, and didn’t want to make the other student wait any longer than needed.

Somehow, Shiro stepped over the threshold of the library exactly at 1pm. He was breathing a bit roughly, but thankfully he hadn’t broken a sweat in the cool air of an overcast late October day. All he had to do to compose himself was take a few measured breaths as he wandered further into the main lobby of the library and scanned the crowd for a familiar head of sandy brown hair.

“Shiro!”

Shiro’s head snapped to the side when he heard someone hiss his name over the quite murmurs of the other students. He found Matt standing against the wall, his bag hanging off his shoulders as he slumped casually against a concrete pillar with his phone in hand. The IT student pocketed the device and pushed away from the wall as Shiro approached, a friendly smile on his face.

“Hey, sorry, I was running a little late,” Shiro apologized, rubbing the back of his neck a bit sheepishly.

Matt shook his head. “It’s fine. I got here barely a minute before you,” he assured, allowing Shiro a slight wave of relief with the knowledge that he hadn’t been waiting long.

The pair looked out at the room around them, Shiro taking advantage of his height to look down the rows of books at the table scattered throughout the shelves. Every single one appeared to be full.

“I think everyone else had the same idea for studying today. I don’t think we’ll be able to find a table,” Matt commented.

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. As far as I can see, even the tables back in the stacks are all full.”

Matt stepped in front of Shiro and rose onto his toes, taking a look for himself in case Shiro had missed any open tables. When he found none, he sighed and dropped back down, shoulders slouched.

“Maybe we could study outside?” Shiro recommended, peaking out the window. It was a little windy and a bit overcast, but the temperature wasn’t uncomfortably low.

Unfortunately, just after Shiro spoke, the pair heard the telltale sound of raindrops on the roof of the library. They came softly at first, but quickly turned into a thundering downpour that echoed through the library.

“I guess that’s a no,” Matt commented, staring out the window.

The two stood in silence, thinking. The cafeteria was open, but it would be crowded and loud, and they’d get too many dirty looks if they lingered to look over their books after eating. Another option was a coffee shop down the road, but they’d have to drive there, and it was likely the place would also be bustling with students craving pumpkin spice lattes as they poured over their school work.

After a few moments of contemplation, an idea came to Shiro, but he wasn’t too sure about it. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the idea of inviting Matt into his personal space, but it was rapidly becoming clear that they didn’t have many other options.

“I mean, we could, uh, study in my dorm if you want. You could meet Eurus, too,” Shiro offered awkwardly, his words stumbling over his tongue. He rubbed at the back of his neck as he spoke, looking anywhere but at Matt. “It’s about a ten minute walk away, though, so we’d have to wait until the rain lets up,” he added.

Matt raised a finger, signaling Shiro to wait as he shrugged off his bag, set it on the floor, and opened it. The IT student rummaged through the binders, textbooks, and loose papers until he pulled out a plain black umbrella.

“I remembered my mom kept insisting that I bring the umbrella. I told her I wouldn’t need it because we’d be inside, but she thought it would rain and didn’t want me to get soaked while walking to the library,” Matt explained, zipping up his bag and slinging it back onto his shoulders.

The pair headed for he door, Matt unwrapping the Velcro strap that held his umbrella shut as they walked. They stepped outside and were blasted with a gust of cold, misty wind. Even under the shelter of the overhang above the door they were not safe from the rain, and the wind had caused the temperature to drop to an uncomfortable chill that slipped straight through the sleeves of Shiro’s shirt.

Matt opened up the umbrella, which unfortunately wasn’t too large, then looked at Shiro. With their height difference, he’d have to hold the handle at shoulder height to make sure the bars of the frame wouldn’t scrape Shiro’s head.

Deciding he didn’t want to risk it, Matt offered the umbrella up for Shiro to hold, but the older and held up a hand.

“It’s not very big, and I don’t want you to get wet. Go ahead and use it. I’ll just change my clothes when we get to my dorm,” he said.

Matt shook his head. “That won’t do much to keep you from getting a cold, though. And your bag will get wet. Go ahead and hold it so I don’t smack your head with it, and I’ll just stick close so I don’t get rained on,” he insisted.

Shiro paused, looking at Matt for a moment. The younger student had his face set in a stubborn look, and Shiro could tell that Matt wouldn’t back down.

Giving up, Shiro took the umbrella and held it in his left hand so it covered him and Matt both. He tried to hold it as low as he could, and shifted it to the side to insure that Matt would be completely covered even though stray rain drops began to attack his right arm and shoulder. The two began walking, moving slowly and awkwardly at first until they managed to sync up their steps. Shiro slowed for the sake of Matt, who took a step and a half to cover the distance that Shiro did in one stride.

Once they were finally able to walk at an almost-normal pace, Shiro nudging Matt to signal him to turn, the pair made their way to Shiro’s dorm, both of them pretending not to notice the way their arms brushed with every step.


	17. Studying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I have returned with a little filler-kinda chapter. It was a good opportunity to add in some more of Matt's meme tendencies as well as some content related to Eurus while heading towards the next arc. Up to this point, the story has been a lot about building up their friendship, but now I'm planning to dive into some deeper things and incorporate listed tags that I haven't included much, as well as possibly some new tags I have yet to list. I'm sorry its been so long since the last update, I've been picking up extra shifts at work because my boss has been out sick. Anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this, and I hope you end up excited for what comes next. I can tell you right now that I'm already very excited to get into the next arc, and if I didn't have to go to work, I'd start writing it right now. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you all enjoy the chapter :)

After nearly fifteen minutes, the pair finally reached Shiro’s dorm building. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led to the top floor, which were wide enough to accommodate them both even when they walked side by side, but would prove rather awkward to climb in sync.

Quickly deciding against trying to waddle slowly up the stairs in an attempt to keep them both under the umbrella, Shiro dropped the handle in Matt’s hand and jogged up the stairs until he was under the overhang on the top floor. Matt followed after him a moment later, umbrella bobbing as he walked.

Shiro led Matt to his door, then stuck the key in the lock and wrestled it open as Matt shook the rain droplets from his umbrella. Swinging the door open, Shiro nodded for Matt to go in, then shut the door behind the two of them.

Shiro immediately slipped off his shoes and left them by the door, knocking the dirt off on the mat. He then took a few steps into the room, only to remember that he had a guest. He quickly turned back to see Matt sliding off his shoes just as Shiro had done and leaving them nearby. The IT student then started to close his umbrella, moving to wrap it back up before Shiro stopped him.

“You’ll ruin it if you don’t let it dry out before you close it. Here, I’ll let it dry out in the shower in case it drips,” the aviation student offered, holding out a hand.

Matt nodded and handed over the umbrella, earning a small smile from Shiro.

“I don’t really have a proper table, so I usually just use my notebooks when I need something solid to write on,” Shiro explained as he waved Matt over to his room. The pair walked in and Shiro gestured loosely at the small area. “There really isn’t too many places to sit, but go ahead to wherever is most comfortable. I gotta hang the umbrella up, and I need to get a different shirt. My sleeve got pretty wet on the walk over,” he said.

Matt turned to look at Shiro and frowned. “Why didn’t you stay under the umbrella? You might catch a cold doing that,” he scolded.

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t get rained on. Since we were headed back here, I figured it would be better if I got rained on a little bit since I could just change my clothes once we got here,” Shiro explained, shrugging.

Matt sighed. “Next time, stay under the umbrella. We can walk a little closer together if we need to, even if it slows us down. It’s better to stay dry and walk longer than to get drenched just to speed up the pace a little,” he said.

Shiro nodded, smiling slightly at Matt. His smile was returned, then Shiro dropped his bag on the floor and went to grab a different shirt to change into and a new pair of gloves that weren’t damp.

Balled-up clothes in one hand and umbrella in the other, Shiro headed to the bathroom. He made sure the door was locked before he got to work setting up the umbrella so it could properly dry in the small shower. He then pulled off his half-soaked shirt and tossed it into the bathroom hamper to be dealt with later. He did the same with his gloves, then pulled on his fresh, dry clothes.

Before leaving the bathroom, Shiro looked over his clothing to make sure everything was covered. Only once he was certain that every part of his right arm was properly covered, and after double checking to make sure no tips of scars were poking out of his collar, Shiro finally unlocked the door and stepped out.

Returning to his room, Shiro half-expected to find Matt still awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, fiddling with the straps of his backpack while scrolling on his phone. However, he was surprised to find something much different.

Matt lay on the floor, a small grin on his face and his glasses askew as he pet Eurus, who stood on his chest and rubbed her face against his glasses in search of his undivided attention.

“It looks like Eurus must have introduced herself,” Shiro said with a chuckle as he walked in, his arms crossed and a smile on his face as he stared down at his two friends.

Matt glanced up at Shiro, his face going red as a fit of laughter escaped him. He scratched Eurus’ chin and head, then ran a hand over the smooth fur of her back. The cat purred loudly in response, then flopped down contentedly on Matt’s chest.

“Well, I guess I’m stuck here now,” Matt joked, continuing to pet Eurus. “I have been reduced to a chair.”

“Yeah, good luck getting her to move. Once she gets comfortable, it’s all over it,” Shiro said.

A smile still stuck on his face, Shiro dropped down onto the floor and grabbed his backpack. Shifting to sit cross-legged, he opened his bag and started digging out homework, notes, and textbooks. He set all his things at his side, then shoved away his bag to clear up space.

Once Shiro had all of his things set out in stacks organized by class, he looked over at Matt to find the younger man still petting Eurus. He looked just about as content as the cat, though Shiro took notice when Matt glanced at his own bag, which had been abandoned a few feet away. Matt’s current inner turmoil was something Shiro understood well, as he too preferred the idea of petting Eurus for hours instead of doing homework. However, it was important that they get their work done and study the material, especially with midterms coming up.

“Do you want me to move her?” Shiro asked, nodding toward Eurus as he took pity on Matt.

Before the IT student could answer, Eurus suddenly rolled over and flopped down directly onto his face.

For a moment, Shiro was stunned. He was silent, his mouth hanging open slightly as he stared dumbly at the sight of Matthew Holt slowly suffocating beneath the fur of a very comfortable cat. He then hurried and leaned forward, reaching over to grab Eurus and quickly pull her away from Matt’s face while sighing his cat’s name aloud.

“ _Eurus!_ ”

Matt burst out laughing as Shiro set Eurus down, only to be silenced when Eurus instantly jumped back onto him, flopping down on his face once more.

Shiro reached over and grabbed Eurus again, this time holding on to her as Matt chuckled again and sat up, fixing the glasses that Eurus had knocked off his face completely. With Matt safely upright, Shiro released his cat once again, only to reach for her once more as she took off towards Matt. Unfortunately he missed, and Matt ended up with a lap full of cat.

Shiro looked up at Matt, expecting him to be annoyed that Eurus wouldn’t leave him alone as she rubbed her head against his knee and pushed away one of his folders in search of attention. However, he was surprised to find Matt smiling, happily petting Eurus and scratching under her ears.

“It must be hard to get anything done if she likes attention this much,” Matt stated with his lips still pulled into a content smile, scratching Eurus’ back.

Shiro’s shoulders relaxed as a ghost of a smile touched his face.

“Actually, she’s usually a lot calmer than this. She must just really like you,” Shiro said. “Then again, people always say animals are good judges of character, so I’m not surprised,” he added without thinking, only to tense up again and mentally slap himself.

Matt looked up suddenly, his face appearing almost blank, if only slightly shocked. It made Shiro want to walk outside and into oncoming traffic. Sure, he did think Matt was a really great person, but he also knew that saying that out loud was not something people were supposed to do. With his old friends from high school, saying anything like that would have led to an awkward silence, not that Shiro had honestly believed any of them were really great people.

“Well then it makes sense why she likes you enough to stick around,” Matt replied after a moment, the smile returning to his face.

Shiro was stunned, to say the least. Never had he seen himself that way, as a ‘good’ person. There was a lot in his life he felt guilty about: people he hurt, people he couldn’t protect, not being there for Keith for so long and allowing their circumstances to make him grow up too fast. He saw little in himself to be respected, to be appreciated, but here Matt was, saying he was a good person. Someone who shone like the sun, bright, gentle, and kind, not only considering Shiro a friend, but also thinking he was a good person. It warmed Shiro’s heart, but also turned his gut to stone. Matt’s words were a small flame within Shiro’s cold interior, but it was quickly extinguished by the blizzard that raged within. Matt thought he was ‘good,’ but Matt also didn’t know much about Shiro. He didn’t know what he’d done, what he’d been through, and there was no telling what Matt would think of him if he ever found out; _when_ he found out. Shiro couldn’t keep secrets from this young man, and that was rapidly becoming apparent. He had found someone he trusted after years of loneliness, someone who made him feel like there was still good in the world despite all the bad he’d experienced. Already words poured from his mouth without him thinking, all before he could stop them. He felt too comfortable around his friend, too safe, and one day the things he never spoke of would slip out whether he wanted them to or not.

“Nah, she stays because I buy her the fancy cat food she likes. If I were to switch it she’d probably follow you home,” Shiro joked quickly, hurrying to move the conversation on before it stalled completely along with his ability to form coherent sentences. He picked up his English folder and pulled out a list of fallacies he had to memorize. “But if she did that then I’d only have myself to complain to when I fail my test on logical fallacies,” he joked again, smoothly changing the topic.

Matt chuckled and leaned forward, causing Eurus to abandon his lap before she fell on the floor. She finally decided to give up and allow the two to get to work, trotting over to the bed and jumping up onto it for a nap. Matt looked at the sheet in Shiro’s hand, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, I had to do those in high school. It’s a lot easier to remember them if you use alternative names and not just the fancy ones,” he said, motioning for the paper. Shiro handed it over, and Matt grabbed a pencil from his bag. He went down the page, writing little notes next to each fallacy before handing it back. When Shiro looked over it, he was surprised to find that the alternative names Matt had written down might actually be very helpful.

“How did you come up with these?” Shiro asked, looking between Matt and the paper with mild surprise.

“The girl who sat next to me in class came up with them, and she lent me a list of them because she noticed that I kept mixing the terms up. Basically she came up with names that kinda summed up the definition of each one, so then you just memorize the actual name and the alternative name. When you have to define them you just explain the alternative name, which was chosen to be self-explanatory,” Matt explained.

Shiro nodded. “Well, that shaved a good two hours off my study time. I’m guessing you probably don’t have another list for parts of a car’s interior,” he said.

Matt shook his head. “Nope. I do have a list of calculus formulas if you want something else to memorize, though,” he offered.

“ _Nope_. I barely survived algebra. If I so much as look at anything more difficult that, my brain is going to explode,” Shiro complained, grimacing.

Matt smirked, then suddenly whipped a folder out of his backpack, flung it opened, and held it out, screeching, “ _begone, THOT!_ ”

Familiar with the meme, as someone who knew Lance McClain, Shiro theatrically fell backwards onto the floor. He wasn’t sure if there was a proper response, but that was Lance’s second most common reaction behind saying ‘bold of you to assume I’m a thot.”

Sitting back up, Shiro caught a glimpse of the sheet in Matt’s folder and stopped. He leaned forward and squinted, looking at all the numbers and symbols with his face contorted in disgust.

“Wait, is that even English? It looks like ancient Greek,” he stated, looking closer. The numbers, which he actually could read, might as well have been another language as well. He couldn’t even follow how Matt got one answer from the last as he simplified equations.

“The symbols are Leibniz notation.”

Shiro stared. “What the actual hell is a Leibniz.”

“He’s the guy who fought with Newton over notation because they both had their own style. But Newton’s was too crazy, so everyone prefers Leibniz’s,” Matt explained.

Shiro’s blank stare didn’t change, causing Matt to chuckle.

“Don’t worry about it. If you ever need to understand it, just call me,” the IT student offered, shaking his head.

Shiro nodded. “If you don’t pick up I will literally go kidnap you from wherever you are.”

“Hmm. Let’s hope I’m not home, or my sister will send the dog after you,” Matt warned. He then stopped, contemplated, then added, “She’ll probably go after you too.”

“Good to know. Just gotta fend of the dog and the sister, then be okay with your dad failing me in my aviation class.”

“That too,” Matt agreed. “Speaking of, you better not fail the midterm, or my dad is gonna start following me whenever we meet up so he can quiz you on anything and everything he can think of.”

Shiro laughed nervously, partly because he knew it was something Sam might actually do. “Yeah, let’s avoid that.”

The two laughed quietly, then finally settled into their work. Matt pulled up some music on his phone and played it quietly to fill the silence as the two of them worked. For hours, they went through their worksheet and notes, asking each other occasional questions and taking a few breaks. They didn’t even notice the time pass by until Matt’s phone rang with a call from his dad asking if they were finished for the night.

“It’s _what_!?” he squeaked, ripping his phone away from his ear to check the time. It was just past 8pm, and they had gotten to Shiro’s dorm just before 1:30pm. Time had flown by despite the fact that they were doing schoolwork, which wasn’t exactly something they deemed fun.

When Matt hung up, saying his dad would soon be there get him, the two started to pack up. Shiro put all his things back into his backpack so they wouldn’t be lost, bar his mechanics diagrams that he left on his nightstand to study later. When they finished, they played with Eurus and got into a discussion about why Loki should get his own solo movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

“He’s so much _better_ than Thor. Like, Thor is all brute strength and lightning, but Loki’s illusions and his slippery fighting style are so _powerful_ ,” Matt groaned.

“There’s so much we don’t know about him, too. Like, we know he’s done a lot, but we never see when he does it or how he does it. Like, when he fakes his deaths, where does he hide? How does he get his real self away from the fight? He’s got to be close by so he can control his illusion to fit the situation. So then, like, when does he escape? Is he an illusion from the beginning, or just a split second beforehand? There’s so much potential in his character. We _need_ a movie about him,” Shiro stressed.

Matt sighed. “More like an entire series of movies. Captain America got three movies for being Mr. ‘Justice-is-life-hey-no-swearing’. Loki should get like, ten.”

Shiro was trying to think of more reasons to argue when Matt’s phoned vibrated, signaling a text from Sam.

“Oh, my dad’s here,” the younger man said, scrolling through the conversation.

Shiro walked with Matt to the door, then out onto the deck that served as a hallway. He walked with him all the way to the bottom of the stairs and over to where Sam was parked, the two still talking about Loki. They only stopped once they were just feet from the car, Sam visible through the windshield.

“I guess I’ll see you later, at some point,” Shiro said. He wasn’t quite sure when, but he was already looking forward to it.

“Actually, I think the college is doing a Halloween party in the library tomorrow. My dad was telling me I should go, so if you think you might be interested, just text me,” Matt offered. “It’s just gonna be junk food and Halloween music, since the school is putting it on, but Cypress said it was fun last year. Costumes aren’t required, either, so you wouldn’t need to worry about that.”

Shiro nodded. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll see about it.”

Matt smiled, his voice cheerful as it betrayed his excitement. “Alright. See you later, Shiro!”

With that, Matt got into the car, and Shiro gave both him and Sam a wave before returning to his dorm with a goofy grin on his face that refused to fade even as he picked up his mechanics folder to start studying again.


	18. Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Heeey. I finally finished the next chapter, and my college finals are next week, so I'll hopefully be able to write more after that. However, Voltron S8 is also next week so I may die, ya never know. Anyway, I'm excited for the new season, and for where this story is going. I know many of you who have followed this story might lose interest after S8 is out, though I still intend to finish writing even if it goes on much longer. That being said, thanks to everyone who has kept up, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING* - This chapter contains a mild description of a near-panic attack. For anyone who may struggle with this, please stop reading after Matt and Shiro leave the library. I will have a note at the very end with a quick summary of the end of the chapter so you don't get lost but can avoid certain content if needed.

Shiro couldn’t believe himself as he slowed to a stop in front of the university library Saturday night, phone in hand as he awaited a text from Matt. He was already stressing over midterms, and now his shoulders were tensed up to the point that it was painful as he watched the never-ending flow of students into the building. It was already crowded outside, and inside would be much, much worse. The only think keeping him from turning back was the excitement Matt had shown after Shiro finally agreed to go. However, even that was a waning force as his confidence wavered. It had been a long time since he had been around so many people at once, the party clearly much more crowded than the theater he’d recently gone to with Matt. Every fiber of his body was screaming at him to turn around and walk back to his dorm.

A vibration against Shiro’s hand signaled a text, and he opened it to read the new message from Matt.

 

**Matt: Im just getting dropped off rn**

**Matt: Ill be there in a few secs**

**Matt: I think I see you**

 

Looking up, Shiro scanned the crowd until his eyes met Matt’s and kept his gaze on the other student until Matt reached him.

“Hey,” Matt greeted, a smile already on his face even though they weren’t even inside yet. “I’m glad you decided to come.”

Shiro nodded. “I need a break from studying, anyway, so why not?” he questioned aloud, though his voice was tight, betraying his discomfort as he eyed the crowd.

Matt was quick to notice Shiro’s tension, and he frowned slightly.

“Will you be okay? Cypress said the crowd is mostly where the music is, and the table with the food gets busy sometimes, but towards the outside there’s more breathing room. Still, if you don’t want to go in, we don’t have to,” he offered, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Shiro felt warmth in his chest as Matt said “we” rather than “you.” It made him feel a little bit lighter with the implication that Matt wanted to not only be at the party, but also to be there with _him_. The way he spoke told Shiro that, if he wanted to leave, Matt wouldn’t just wave goodbye and find someone else he knows. It told him that, if he left, Matt would go with him.

“I don’t like crowds, but I think I’ll be okay if we just stick to the corners kind of away from everything,” Shiro decided, taking a breath. He smiled down at Matt to show his friend that he was sure about his decision, and upon receiving confirmation, Matt nodded towards the building.

The pair headed in, wading uncomfortably through the throngs of people streaming in through the library doors. Shiro felt claustrophobic as they passed through the doorway, and he flinched when someone bumped his right arm, but it ended as quickly as it started. The other students dispersed throughout the room, and Shiro followed Matt as the younger man broke away from the rest of the people and headed towards an unoccupied bench against the wall.

Shiro let out a deep breath as they sat down, some tension seeping out of his muscles now that there were fewer people nearby. All the noise and the colored lights blinking and shining on the other side of the large lobby was sensory overload for Shiro, but it was made easier as Matt picked up their conversation about Loki from the day before.

“Why can’t they give us more content with his shapeshifting? There was only, like, one time when we saw him shapeshift. It’s so cool though? I mean, we keep hearing Thor talk about how Loki used to turn into a snake so Thor would pick him up, only to change back into himself and stab Thor, but we’ve never seen that happen. I would sell my _soul_ to Marvel just see that,” Matt rambled, gesturing wildly with his hands as he spoke.

“How would they do that, though? What if Chris Hemsworth dropped Tom Hiddleston?” Shiro questioned, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

Matt stared at Shiro in silence for a moment, leveling him with a rather disappointed look.

“Dude,” Matt started, his tone dripping with disbelief. “He’s _Thor_. Have you _seen_ that guys arms? He’s like, as buff as you. He can like, bench a car.”

“I think a car is a bit much,” Shiro pointed out, though Matt only shrugged.

“You never know.”

Shiro blinked, not very sure about where to go from there. Thankfully, he didn’t have to figure it out, because Matt had already started again.

“Anyway, Tom Hiddleston is a twig. Picking him up would be like picking up a piece of cardboard,” Matt stated, then added, “for Hemsworth, at least.”

“Picking _you_ up would be like picking up a piece of cardboard. Tom Hiddleston is probably heavier than he looks,” Shiro argued. “He’s probably taller than me.”

It took a moment for Shiro to realize what he’d said, and he blinked and glanced at Matt’s expression out of fear that he might have offended his friend.

To Shiro’s relief, Matt didn’t appear offended at all. Instead, the IT student shrugged and nodded. “Fair point,” he admitted. “But I still think they could handle it.”

By that point, Shiro didn’t have much else to say on the topic. He tried to think of a way to continue, but the loss of flow in the conversation made it difficult, and it tore down the wall that his mind had built up to distract him from his chaotic surroundings. The lights and sounds all came crashing down on him, and he stiffened. His breath picked up, and he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees as he tried to slow his breathing and calm his anxiety.

“Shiro?” Matt’s voice cut through the noise, drawing Shiro’s attention. Matt’s hand hovered in the air as he looked at Shiro with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Shiro nodded, taking a deep breath before sitting back up.

“Sorry. The noise got to me for a second,” he said, telling half of a truth. While the noise was getting to him, overwhelming his mind, the flashing lights across the room and the sheer number of people were both crushing. It made him want to walk out as fast as he could, but he was still having a good time and didn’t really want to go back to his dorm yet.

“Have you heard of vines?” Matt asked suddenly, his expression blank. The question caught Shiro off-guard, and he momentarily forgot about the crowded room again.

Shiro stared at Matt dumbly, completely lost. He’d heard Lance mention ‘vines’ before, though he had no idea what they were. All he knew was that, when Matt said ‘vines’ he wasn’t talking about the plant.

Matt whipped his phone out of his pocket, turning it on and pulling up YouTube.  He typed something into the search bar, then clicked the first result before handing the phone to Shiro, who took it hesitantly.

The first thing Shiro heard when the video began was a scream, followed by, “Stop! I could’ve dropped my croissant!” His gaze flicked momentarily to the title of the video, which was unsurprisingly ‘vines that butter my croissant’.

Confused, Shiro looked over at Matt with a raised eyebrow in search of context, but the younger man was smirking, his eyes glued to the screen. Aware that no answers would come, Shiro returned to watching the video.

“Why did Jared never learn how to read?” Shiro asked under his breath almost three minutes in, though he was heard by Matt, who looked up at Shiro is disbelief before breaking down into a fit of giggles that made Shiro tilt his head in confusion. “How did he know he spelled any of the words on the screen right if he can’t read it?”

Matt only snorted at Shiro’s second question, doubling over so quickly that he almost fell off the bench as he gasped for air. It took him a solid minute to regain his composure enough to speak, wiping tears from his eyes. “It’s… It’s a _joke_ , Shiro. He can read, it’s just meant to be funny,” the IT student explained, though Shiro’s confusion only grew. “Okay, just, uh, watch the rest of this. There are some really fun ones even you will understand,” Matt assured.

Seven minutes later when the video ended, Shiro had yet to understand a single one of these ‘vines’ things. What did Kyle do? How did that girl _spill_ lipstick in her mom’s bag? Wasn’t lipstick a, well, stick? Why did little kids swear so much? Even Keith didn’t swear until he was fourteen, and he’d always been a little bit of a delinquent.

“I don’t get it,” Shiro stated as he handed the phone back, causing Matt to sigh.

“One day, Shiro. One day, you’ll understand,” the younger man promised, putting his phone away.

Shiro frowned. “But what did Kyle do?”

Matt deadpanned, pulling his phone back out of his pocket and holding it up.

“Say that again,” he ordered, making Shiro tilt his head in confusion for the twentieth time in the last ten minutes.

“What did Kyle do?” he asked again hesitantly, unaware of what was happening.

Matt chuckled, tapping his phone screen a few times before returning the device to his pocket. “My sister is gonna _die_ when she sees that. Your responses to vines and memes could be vines and memes _themselves_.”

Unsure of what Matt meant, Shiro decided not to ask. He was already confused, and didn’t think he’d be able to understand what Matt meant any time soon.

“Anyway, do you want any food? I’m hungry, and since it’s really crowded over there, I’ll get something for you so you don’t have to go,” Matt offered, nodding his head toward a distant table surrounded by people. The sight alone was enough to make Shiro nauseous, having once again forgotten about the crowd as he watched the ‘vines’ on Matt’s phones.

When Shiro didn’t respond, Matt stood. “I’ll grab you some pizza. Be right back,” he promised, before heading straight for the crowd.

Shiro felt a pang of guilt as he watched Matt worm his way into the crowd, quickly disappearing from sight. He didn’t like asking other people to do things for him, and even though he was hungry and Matt was going over to the table anyway, he still felt bad. He had a slight frown as he waited, scanning the edge of the crowd until Matt came into view once again just a minute later, two paper plates full of food in hand.

Upon reaching the bench, Matt handed one plate containing two slices of pizza and a chocolate chip cookie to Shiro, receiving a thankful nod in response. He then sat down with his own plate, picking up a brownie and biting off half of it at once.

Shiro raised his eyebrows in surprise at Matt’s choice of food, which appeared to be one slice of pizza and enough sweets to cause a cavity in seconds.

Matt caught Shiro staring and shrugged, swallowing the remainder of his brownie. “I like sugary stuff, Mr. Protein Shake,” he defended, hunching over his plate protectively.

A small smile crept onto Shiro’s face as Matt nearly inhaled a cookie, then he shook his head and picked up one of his pizza slices. “Remind me to keep you away from the candy before you put yourself into a sugar-induced coma,” he joked.

Matt’s head snapped to the side, his mouth full of cookie. “ _WhEF_ ,” he hissed, eyes wide as a few crumbs flew from his mouth. He hurriedly swallowed, then repeated himself more clearly. “ _WheRE_.”

Shiro nodded towards a person near the door who had a bag of candy that they were giving out to people who entered the building.

“They’re only giving out one piece per person,” Matt complained quietly, frowning. He then shrugged. “I’ll just steal some of what my parents bought for trick-or treaters. They won’t care if they don’t know I did it,” he claimed smugly, an evil smile on his face that made Shiro let out an amused breath through his nose.

The two continued eating, their eyes wandering until some excited shouts drew their attention towards the middle of the room. It was hard to see, but two guys had started dancing to the current song, one that Shiro didn’t recognize. The dancing was actually quite impressive, one of the guys actually doing a backflip at one point. The spirit became contagious when the song switched to the macarena, and people began to stand up and dance, half of the room soon dancing along. Even Matt set down his plate on the bench and jumped up to start dancing, smiling at Shiro, who remained seated, while exaggerating the movements sloppily until Shiro chuckled.

When the song came to an end, the crowd quit dancing, and Matt sat back down on the bench. He wolfed down another brownie, a grin still on his face while he looked over at Shiro. The older man’s cheeks were tinted red from his earlier laughter, and the sight made Matt’s smile grow wider, as he had noticed how tense Shiro had been since they arrived and felt bad that his friend was staying for his sake despite his own suffering.

The pair finished their food, launching into a conversation about music. They argued back and forth about what artists were best until Matt brought up My Chemical Romance, causing Shiro to dive into a story about how his younger brother’s friend Lance had cried once when Keith convinced an oblivious Shiro to play the band’s infamous ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ on his phone in front of him. Shiro was sure to mention that he had noticed Keith’s shoulders sag during the song, as Keith had listened to the band for quite a few years and was suffering just as Lance had.

“Oh my _god_ , that reminds me. One time, my sister got really pissed off at this kid in her class whole kept being really rude to a substitute teacher who was super lost on how to run class, and the kid was like, the _biggest_ MCR fan _ever_. So during their music class when the teacher asked for help to move the piano, she volunteered herself and recommended that the teacher ask that rude kid to help since he was pretty strong. Then, when the teacher got the class to quiet down while she and that kid were moving the piano, she G-noted him,” Matt explained, giggling to himself.

“ _No_ ,” Shiro gasped, looking at Matt is disbelief. He was well aware of what it meant to ‘G-note’ someone, a concept he had learned one day when he was called into Keith’s school because Keith had once again gotten into a fight with Lance. The first thing Keith yelled was that Lance had ‘G-noted’ him, earning nothing but confused looks from both the school staff members in the room and Shiro until he explained what it meant. After learning that Lance had sneakily played the first note of ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ just to spite Keith after an argument, Shiro simply sighed and apologized to the school principal before promising to talk to Keith about the issue and leaving.

“Yeah. The kid _completely_ freaked. He yelled at her and smashed the piano keys so hard that one broke, so his parents had to pay for the damage. He tried to defend himself by telling the teacher and principal that she ‘G-noted’ him, but she played dumb and said she was just trying to move the piano and accidently hit one of the keys. She gets in trouble for hacking stuff and the occasional mild fight, so I was surprised that they didn’t really suspect her. I guess no one was aware that she had any reason to be mad at the kid, though, and since they didn’t understand what ‘G-noting’ was, she completely got away with it,” Matt finished.

“I have the feeling your sister and my brother would get along a little _too_ well,” Shiro observed, shaking his head. “Though Keith is probably a bit older. Your sister is, what? Fifteen?”

“Yeah, Pidge is fifteen,” Matt confirmed.

Shiro nodded. “Keith just turned eighteen not too long ago, so it’s a three year difference. Maybe they’d get along still,” he guessed.

“Pidge either acts like she’s twelve or twenty, and there’s no in-between, so I think they’d probably be fine,” Matt reasoned. “Besides, you’re a couple years older than me, too, aren’t you?”

Shiro paused, hit with a realization. Had he ever actually asked Matt’s age? He knew that, when he had first seen him in the IT Center, he had thought that Matt was a high school student rather than a college student since he looked so young. However, the thought hadn’t crossed his mind since.

“You’re….?” Shiro prompted, slight hesitance in his voice.

“Nineteen. I’ll be twenty in December,” Matt stated, making Shiro choke on the remainder of his pizza, which he had just eaten.

After Shiro stopped coughing, Matt tilted his head to the side and frowned. “Is something wrong? I mean, I’m younger than many second year students. You’re in your third year, so I already assumed I’m probably younger than you,” he explained.

“No, no, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Shiro assured, waving his hands defensively. “Besides, I actually thought you were in high school when I first saw you at the IT Center, because you look really young,” he admitted, causing Matt to raise an eyebrow. It made Shiro want to backpedal, but before he could open his mouth, Matt smiled.

“Actually, when I first walked into my computer science class in my first year, Rift thought I was someone’s kid. I had to show him my ID before he believed I was actually a student,” the younger man revealed. “He felt really bad after.”

Shiro nodded, his gaze wandering to the floor.

“….” he mumbled something inaudible over the music in the air and the people talking around them. Even though they were in a quieter area where they didn’t need to raise their voices to speak to each other, a mumble that would be difficult to hear in an empty room was drowned completely out by all the other sounds.

Matt looked at Shiro with confusion, aware that the older man had spoken, but unsure of what he said.

“I’m… twenty-five,” Shiro said a bit louder, his shoulders hunched slightly. He already knew Matt was younger than him, likely quite a bit younger, and it didn’t really bother him. However, he wasn’t sure that he could say the same for Matt. Would Matt be weirded out that Shiro was older? A lot of people only had friends around the same age as them, especially younger people. As those ‘meme’ and ‘vine’ things Matt seemed to love became more popular and older generations continued to fail to understand them, generation divides became very apparent. What if Matt decided that Shiro would never understand the humor he loved, and stopped talking to him? What if Matt simply decided Shiro was _too_ old? After all, Matt was only about two years older than Shiro’s younger brother, who was _seven_ years younger than Shiro himself. That didn’t make Shiro see Matt as a younger brother like Keith or anything of that sort, but that didn’t mean Shiro wouldn’t seem _really_ old to him. Did that even make sense as a coherent thought? Shiro wasn’t sure anymore. All he knew was that he was worried, and he was panicking.

“And?”

Shiro’s thoughts screeched to a halt, and he whipped his head to the side to look at Matt with surprise painted all over his face.

“And?” Matt repeated, eyebrows raised. “You’re not even that old. What is there to be embarrassed about? If it’s something like not going to college immediately after high school, then you should remember that _a lot_ of people can’t immediately go to college, or they don’t want to. There’s nothing wrong with it-“ he explained, only to be cut off by Shiro.

“You’re not, like, weirded-out, or something?” the aviation student asked dumbly.

“What? No! No.” Matt shook his head, a strange look that appeared to be a slight cringe on his face. “Why would I find that weird? It’s not like you’re as old as my parents, or something,” he said.

“But I’m six years older than you,” Shiro stated blatantly.

“And my aunt is ten years older than my uncle, and they’re married. What’s your point?” Matt deadpanned.

“Oh. Well, I don’t know. People usually, you know, don’t associate much with people more than a year or two older or younger than them,” Shiro reasoned.

Matt rolled his eyes, then fixed Shiro with a small smile and a raised eyebrow that said he wasn’t angry in case he seemed like he was. “This isn’t high school, Shiro.”

“Oh, uh, okay.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, then Matt stood and held out a hand.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Want me to throw out your plate on the way?” he offered.

Shiro nodded, letting out a small ‘thanks’ as he handed his plate over. Matt smiled and turned away, heading toward the crowd again. Shiro watched him go, then after he disappeared into the crowd, Shiro got out his phone to check the time. They had been at the party for almost an hour and a half, though it hadn’t felt like more than thirty minutes. The time just after their arrival had seemed like an eternity, but after settling on the bench and losing focus on all the people and sounds, time had flown by like a runaway jet. It had honestly been fun, definitely compared to the last time Shiro had been in such a crowded area. Even the movie they had gone to paled in comparison, though to be fair, the movie had sucked and Matt had been out cold for half of it.

Shiro slid his phone back into his pocket, then he looked up and began scanning the crowd while his mind wandered. He felt pretty good, oddly enough. He was actually sleeping, he had been for a while now, instead of lying awake every night or jerking awake from a nightmare every other hour until he finally gave up on sleep. He didn’t feel as tired as he usually did, even though he’d plunged into crowded areas far more often and for far longer since he started hanging out with Matt. He’d always gotten exhausted by simple trips to the cafeteria, or even trips to Kronners when it was busy. However, he’d been far more relaxed recently, especially when Matt was around. It was becoming clear that Shiro’s new friend was helping him in more ways than one, both keeping him from isolation and helping him stay grounded and relaxed in situations and places that usually made him tense and jumpy. He wasn’t quite healed, he likely never would be, but he had slowly been getting better. When Matt came into Shiro’s life, the light and kindness he radiated seemed to speed that process up. A year ago, Shiro would never have even been able to enter the building when a party such as the one he was at was going on, even if it was a relaxed one hosted by the university. Either he had finally reached the point where he could tolerate such settings, or Matt’s presence was enough to make it bearable. Either way, Shiro was glad, and he hoped it would continue.

Unfortunately, Shiro’s hopes were shattered in just moments. A familiar mess of light hair caught his eye, and his gaze refocused as Matt quickly slipped from the crowd. He was walking briskly, his shoulders tense and his arms stiff at his sides. He had an unreadable look on his face, but his eyes were just a little too wide, focused a little too strongly on the floor. He no longer radiated calm, but rather fear and panic.

Instantly, Shiro was on guard. The instincts that had slowly gone dormant over the years returned at nearly full strength, making him aware of every sound, every smell, and every movement in the room. It was sensory overload ten times worse than when he’d first walked in, but he made no move to leave. Matt was clearly on edge, but the situation was unknown. It wasn’t Shiro’s instinct to flee that had been triggered, rather it was his instinct to fight. He was aware of everything, but he was in control. It was like he was mid-battle all over again, deciphering the situation in the moment and searching for a solution. With so many questions, all he could think to do was stand and step towards Matt, watching as his friend approached.

“We need to leave, now,” Matt hissed tensely through gritted teeth when he reached Shiro, passing by him only to grab his jacket, which he’d taken off earlier and left on the bench, before gripping Shiro’s wrist with a surprising amount of force and pulling him towards the door. His pace never slowed, and his face never changed from the stony, tense expression that had settled upon it since his return.

Out of habit, Shiro scanned their surroundings as Matt led him out, and he locked eyes with someone at the edge of the crowd near where Matt had come from. The man appeared to be around the same age as Matt, likely no older than twenty-one. He was staring at them, or more specifically, at Matt, but his gaze shifted to Shiro when he noticed the aviation student staring. The small smirk that had been on his face before slid away, replaced by a frown, but a group of people soon walked by and obscured Shiro’s line of vision. He couldn’t see the strange man anymore, though he could still feel his gaze, and it felt wrong.

Hesitantly, Shiro turned to face forward again just as Matt pulled him through the doors and out of the building, exposing them to the cold night air.

It was dark out, but the sidewalk was lit by the occasional light pole. Matt never stopped moving, his pace constant and his grip on Shiro’s wrist unrelenting. Despite the cold wind, he wasn’t shivering, even though his t-shirt clearly offered little protection against the bite of the chill.

It felt like an eternity before they finally came to a stop in front of a building Shiro recognized as the IT Center. Matt suddenly let go of his wrist, but Shiro had no time to even think about asking what was wrong before Matt had his phone out. He typed a lightning-fast text, shut his phone off, walked up the wall of the building, turned around, then leaned back against it. His eyes went to the sky, two milk chocolate irises that usually shone with life dulled to a hazy brown, then he suddenly slid to the ground with a heavy sigh.

Worried, Shiro rushed forward and knelt in front of his friend, eyebrows furrowed as Matt brought up his hands and rubbed at his face stressfully. The IT student paused with a hand over his mouth as if he felt nauseous, though it was likely that he did. Whatever had happened, it was clearly causing Matt great distress.

“Matt?” Shiro called quietly, reaching out to touch his friend’s shoulder. Matt surprised Shiro when he suddenly lashed out, smacking away Shiro’s hand so hard that it hurt, making Shiro jerk his entire body back as if he’d been burned.

The sudden motion seemed to snap Matt out of his daze, and he looked between his own hand hovering in the air and Shiro’s recoiled form before shaking his head.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled quietly, pulling his hand towards his chest as if it hurt.

“It’s okay,” Shiro assured quickly to combat the guilt in his friend’s voice. “Are you alright?” he asked, searching Matt’s face for any clues as to what might be wrong.

Matt let out a shaky breath, then another, then a third, each one successively quicker than the last. Shiro recognized the signs of an oncoming panic attack and reached for Matt again, this time successfully grabbing his shoulders. Matt didn’t seem to take notice, still trying and failing to calm down.

“Matt,” Shiro called, shaking his friend gently. It did little, as Matt was still struggling to contain himself even though he looked like he was trying. “Matt,” Shiro called again, looking him in the eye.

Matt looked up partially, but his eyes didn’t seem to focus. He looked like he was on the edge of a full-blown panic attack, something Shiro wanted to avoid at all costs. He knew what it was like to lose himself, to get swallowed by the fear and anxiety like a pebble on a raging shoreline. He knew how much it hurt, how exhausting it was, and he didn’t want Matt to go through that.

Carefully, Shiro placed a hand on the side of Matt’s face and tilted the younger man’s head so he was looking him in the eye, then he spoke. “Matthew.”

Just like in the movie theater, the use of Matt’s full name got the IT student’s attention. His eyes focused, and his gaze settled on Shiro’s face. He was still breathing unsteadily, though a fraction of his panic seemed to have been replaced with confusion.

“Focus on me, Matt,” Shiro stated simply, staring at his friend intensely while slowing his own breathing to long, quiet, deep breaths through his nose. “Focus on me,” he repeated.

Matt did as he was told, not shifting his gaze an inch as he stared at Shiro and his breaths began to slow. It was a gradual fall, taking almost a minute, but soon Matt was no longer choking on short, quick breaths. His breathing had slowed to match Shiro’s with none of the words, loud breathing, or coaching that people often resorted to. Shiro found those tactics more annoying than helpful, and it seemed Matt wasn’t in need of them either.

“You okay?” Shiro asked softly once Matt had calmed down, still looking into his eyes.

“Y-yeah,” Matt responded quietly, sighing in relief as he closed his eyes and slumped back against the wall behind him.

Shiro dropped his now-free hand from where it hovered after Matt pulled his head away, though his other hand still lingered on his friend’s shoulder. Typically he feared such contact, worried someone might feel the metal in his hand through his gloves, but at the moment he had much more to worry about. Matt did too, and it was unlikely that he’d even notice.

“I’m sorry… for all of that,” Matt apologized quietly, his eyes still closed.

“It’s okay,” Shiro assured, his expression still pinched with worry and his voice low.

Neither of them spoke again, Matt’s mind too hectic and Shiro’s too full of questions he knew better than to ask. Neither of them said or moved much until a minute later when Matt began to shiver, finally aware of the freezing wind. He sloppily pulled on his jacket, though it did little to help. Clearly, he hadn’t expected to be outside for a long period of time when he’d left home. Even with the jacket, he continued to tremor, and he was too tired to do much else about it.     

Unable to continue watching his friend suffer after the rough night he’d been having, Shiro unzipped his own jacket and shrugged it off, then leaned forward to drape it across Matt like a blanket. It made the IT student open his eyes, now full of confusion, and move to give it back.

Shiro shook his head. “Hold onto it,” he said.

Matt looked between the jacket and Shiro, then nodded, lacking the energy to put up a fight. He pulled the jacket off his front and slipped it behind him to hang over his shoulders like a blanket, though it might as well have been, seeing as it was three sizes too big on him.

The pair fell into silence again, Shiro fighting the urge to shiver as the chilly air sliced through his sleeves and made his right arm ache with cold. Neither spoke or moved until a pair of headlights came into view just minutes later, the vehicle whipping into a parking space.

The driver got out the car without bothering to turn it off, leaving the engine running as he got out and jogged over to the pair. Sam Holt soon came into view, his worried face illuminated by the soft light of the street lamps. He immediately knelt down next to Matt and Shiro, looking first to the latter for any clues before turning his attention to his son.

“Matt? What’s wrong? What happened?” Sam asked, setting a hand on Matt’s shoulder.

Matt shook his head, taking a breath to steady himself as his anxiety started to return. It wasn’t as bad as before, though it made his voice shaky.

“I s-saw him, at-at the library,” the IT student stated quietly, looking at the ground.

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed, a mixture of confusion and concern as if the answer was just out of reach. It seemed that he knew the answer he received would be something he didn’t want to hear, something that he knew was bad.

“It was Quinn, dad. He was there,” Matt spat quickly, his tone a mixture of fear and anger. He finally raised his head, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “He goes to this school.”

There was no room for arguments, no what-ifs or maybes. Shiro didn’t know much about the party in the library, though he did know that it was only for students. Anyone who didn’t have their ID visible while attending would be removed. Even Shiro and Matt had their IDs in lanyards tied to the belt loops of their jeans despite the fact that half of the administrative staff were familiar with Shiro and Matt was a student employee at the IT Center. If that Quinn guy was at the party, he was a student.

Sam’s face flashed with anger before suddenly going blank as he rushed to hide the emotion he undoubtedly felt. The man was obvious experiencing some great turmoil, though he hid it well just as any other military commander could. Without a word, he got to his feet and motioned for Matt to stand, grabbing his son’s elbow to help him get up. Sam looked at Shiro and nodded towards the car, signaling him to follow.

Shiro did as he was told, following the Holts to their vehicle. He waited as Sam walked Matt to the passenger side, waited for him to get in, then closed to the door. Sam then approached Shiro, his expression dead serious.

“Shiro,” he began, “Matt trusts you a great deal, and I know you’re a good man. So I need to ask a favor of you.”

Shiro nodded, waiting.

Sam looked his student straight in the eye as he spoke with every ounce of seriousness he could muster.

“I can’t always watch out for Matt. I can’t be there for him 24/7, even if I didn’t have work to do.” Sam paused, as if debating what to say next. “That kid, that _man_ you two saw tonight, do you remember what he looked like?”

Shiro nodded again.

“Good. If you’re with Matt and you see him, please, get Matt out of there as fast as you can,” he asked. “He’s...he has a bit of a history with Matt. I can’t say much, because it’s not my place to explain, but… Regardless, Matt isn’t safe around him. Now, _I know_ I might just sound like some parent worried over everything even though my son is an adult who can take care of himself, and yes, he will always be a child in my eyes, but that’s not the issue here. Quinn is dangerous, so please, just, keep Matt away from him,” Sam explained. “I’m not asking you to follow Matt everywhere and act like a security guard or anything, I would never ask you to do that. I just need to know that there is someone Matt can turn to if he needs to, someone who can keep him safe if I’m not there and the situation gets dicey.”

Shiro paused momentarily, letting his mind process what he had been told. This Quinn guy was bad news, and while Shiro wasn’t sure why, Sam had made it very clear that he had to be kept as far from Matt as possible. It wasn’t the time to ask for specifics, and as Sam had said, the details were Matt’s secrets to disclose.

“Of course,” Shiro agreed, pushing down his confusion. He may not have known what was truly happening, but he knew enough. Matt was his friend, and he would look after him.

Sam nodded. “Thank you. Take care of yourself, Shiro.”

Without another word, Sam turned and walked around the car to the driver’s side. He dropped into the driver’s seat, buckling in and giving Shiro a thankful nod before throwing the car into reverse and backing away.

Shiro watched the Holts leave, questions still swirling through his mind. There were too many to ponder at once without giving him a headache, and the last thing he wanted to do was make assumptions. With that in mind, he decided not to think about it and instead wait until Matt gave answers, that is, only if he wanted to.

Rubbing at the ache that was growing in his right arm as the chunks of metal continued to chill, Shiro started toward his dorm. He was still somewhat alert and on edge, his senses still heightened as the wind whipped by and every sound echoed in his ears. He glanced up at the sky, wishing for the freedom of flight while mentally preparing himself for a sleepless night of worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *For those of you who might have skipped the last part of the chapter, this is what happened:  
> Matt and Shiro leave the party at the library and end up at the IT Center. Matt texts his dad to pick him up, and sits down as he tries to sort through some problems he's facing concerning the strange person at the library. Matt has a near-panic attack due to his poor history with this person, who is revealed to be someone named Quinn, another student at the school. Shiro helps Matt calm down, as he's dealt with anxiety and panic attacks himself before, then Sam soon shows up to pick up Matt. He asks about what happened, and Matt reveals that he saw Quinn in the library. This causes distress in Sam, though he puts his own negative feelings aside and focuses on getting Matt home. While Matt sits in the car, Sam explains to an extent that Matt has history with Quinn, and the man is not safe for Matt to be around. He doesn't reveal much more, as he believes it is Matt's place to divulge details and Matt's alone, though he asks that Shiro watch out for Matt and make sure he it kept away from Quinn. Shiro agrees, then Sam takes Matt home. Shiro returns to his dorm.


	19. Sticks and Stones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy New Year! I was hoping to update just after my college finals, but I ended up with a bunch of tests in my high school classes just before winter break and have been working quite a bit since then. This chapter was also a bit difficult to write for a few reasons, but an explanation would be a bit spoiler-y here so i put it in the end notes. In the end, the chapter ended up quite a bit longer than usual, but I like the way I went with it. I'm hoping you all enjoy it, and if all goes well, I'd like to try and post one more update within the next week before school starts, as I will then be headed straight into high school exams and the new college semester. I can't promise that I'll be able to do it because I have a lot to finish up before going back to school, but I'll try my best. I enjoy writing this story and would like to keep it going strong. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has been keeping up so far, and I hope you'll stick around as new chapters are released.
> 
> -low-key glares @ ao3 for messing up my formatting every time I post-

It wasn’t until the following Monday that Shiro came into contact with one of the Holts again. He walked into class mid-yawn, having not slept much over the weekend. He was worried about Matt, about what must have happened to him that made Quinn so dangerous. It made Shiro fear that maybe something would happen when neither he nor Sam were around, and Matt wouldn’t be able to defend himself. Usually, Shiro would have some faith in Matt. However, Sam’s words from that night of the party had

With all these questions swirling in his mind, Shiro didn’t notice that someone had been calling his name as he sat in his chair and stared blankly at the front of the room.

“Shiro?”

Shiro’s head snapped up, his gaze landing on Sam Holt. The man was looking at him with a slightly concerned expression, his head tilted slightly as he took in his student’s bloodshot eyes and the growing shadows beneath them.

“Hello, sir,” Shiro greeted, remembering to be more formal in the presence of his classmates. Sam nodded, though his expression didn’t change.

“Are you feeling okay? You look a bit tired,” the older man pointed out.

Shiro shook his head. “I’m fine. Just haven’t been sleeping well,” he stated, not going into detail.

Sam stared for a moment like he knew what Shiro was thinking without him saying anything. It was as if the man could read his thoughts, like he was aware that Shiro had been worrying about Matt. However, he said nothing, and simply nodded again.

“Well, here’s your jacket. I was a bit distracted when I picked Matt up and didn’t notice that he had it on. It has been chilly out, so I wanted to get it back to you quickly,” Sam explained, holding said jacket out.

The aviation student’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He hadn’t noticed the jacket as it hung on Sam’s arm, his brain too sleep deprived to realize it was his.

“Thank you, sir,” Shiro said, taking his coat back. He set it on the desk, taking note of how it was nicely folded. It also seemed to smell slightly of detergent, and the scent brought a confused look to his face.

“My wife went ahead and washed it. Not that it was dirty or anything, just out of courtesy,” the man stated.

“Oh, that’s okay. Thank you,” Shiro said with a nod. It wasn’t necessary for the Holts to do that for him, though he decided to simply be thankful.

Sam nodded again, giving Shiro a smile before returning to the front of the room just as Instructor Con entered, addressing the class loudly and asking them to get out their notebooks.

-000-

At the end of class, Shiro slipped his phone from his pocket and checked it. No messages. A cold feeling went through him, as he’d heard nothing from Matt over the weekend and had been hoping to hear _something_. He at least wanted to know if Matt was feeling better. However, he didn’t want to ask, because he felt like he would be pressuring his friend. The last thing he wanted to do was stress Matt out more.

“Matt’s been busy, but he is feeling a bit better.”

Shiro jumped at the sound of Sam’s voice, having been lost in his thoughts once more. His hand went to his chest as he inhaled deeply, trying to calm his pulse.

“Sorry for sneaking up on you,” Sam apologized, folding his hands behind his back.

“It’s okay,” Shiro assured, leaning back in his chair. “I was a bit worried, since he hasn’t sent a single text since then. I’m glad he’s feeling better, though.”

Sam nodded. “He probably wouldn’t usually react to seeing Quinn so severely, but that night was a bit of a surprise for him, and it’s been a year or two. He was more shocked than anything else,” the man explained.

“That’s understandable,” Shiro replied, glancing down as he picked at his gloves.

A silence fell over the two of them, Shiro unsure of what to say and Sam trying not to disclose more than he should. Shiro continued to pick at his gloves and frowned in irritation as more questions started to form in his mind. He briefly considered mentioning a few of them, but then took notice of the time.

“Well, I need to get going. I’ll see about meeting up with Matt sometime later this week when he’s not busy,” Shiro said, getting to his feet and hauling his bag onto one shoulder.

“Okay. Try to get some more sleep in too, if you can,” Sam advised, stepping back to give Shiro a path to the door.

“Will do,” Shiro called over his shoulder. He then left the room, allowing the troubled expression he had been withholding to shape his face.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Shiro typed out a quick text to send to Matt and paused. Sam _had_ said that Matt was feeling better, but Shiro wasn’t sure if asking to meet him at the cafeteria for lunch at some point that week would be a good idea. Quinn had seen them at the party, and now knew that Matt was a student. If he wanted, he could easily stake out the cafeteria to try to find Matt and corner him. Despite that, Shiro did still want to meet up with Matt, so he decided to take a different route with his text before hitting send.

**Shiro: Do you want to get lunch together sometime this week?**

**Shiro: Someone in my class was talking about a restaurant that just opened nearby**

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Shiro hoped Matt would accept. He had felt on-edge since the party, and he thought that maybe actually having Matt around might make him feel better. That way, he wouldn’t be spending his time worrying that Matt might run into Quinn alone.

Shoving his thoughts away, Shiro headed for his next class with his phone in hand, waiting for a response.

-000-

It was a whole day before Shiro got a reply, which set his phone off just as he was walking into English. The professor raised an eyebrow at him, and Shiro responded with a sheepish smile before stepping out of the room and pulling up the message.

**Matt: hey**

**Matt: I was covering a few shifts in the IT Center because everyone got the plague**

**Matt: By plague I mean they got hammered over the weekend**

**Matt: And again yesterday**

**Matt: Rift actually fired a guy for coming in to work high and drunk off his ass**

**Matt: And yeah my sister told me about the restaurant**

**Matt: Im free of Thursday**

**Matt: *on**

Shiro smiled while reading over the texts, glad to see Matt back to his old self.

**Shiro: How about Thursday at 1?**

**Matt: Maybe? Im not sure when my dad is free to give me a ride**

**Matt: My mom works all day tomorrow too**

**Shiro: I can drive you**

**Matt: Are you sure?**

**Shiro: Yeah. Where should I get you from**

**Matt: My dad is going to the university in the morning so ill just go with him**

**Matt: Ill meet u are the IT Center at 12:45**

**Matt: at***

**Matt: I cant type for shit today**

**Shiro: That’s okay. I have to go to English, but I’ll message you when I’m done**

**Matt: Alright**

**Matt: I might take a while to respond because im at the IT Center today**

**Matt: On break rn**

**Shiro: Okay. I’ll talk to you later**

**Matt:** **😊**

Shiro turned off the volume on his phone in case it went off again before walking back into class just as the professor began.

-000-

Two days later, Shiro pulled up in the parking lot near the IT Center at exactly 12:45pm. He put the car in park, then let it idle as he dug his phone out of his pocket to text Matt.

**Shiro: I’m here**

It was merely seconds before Matt responded.

**Matt: Hold up lemme go outside**

**Matt: Too many stairs wtf**

**Matt: Im installing an elevator asap**

**Shiro: Matt the IT Center is only on the second floor**

**Shiro: It’s like two flights of stairs**

**Matt: Two too many**

**Matt: Almost there**

A few moments later, Shiro saw the front door open and watched Matt walk out. The younger man was squinting in the wind as he looked around, his gaze landing on Shiro’s vehicle. A smile crossed his face as he jogged over, phone in hand. He dropped into the passenger seat the moment he reached the car, sighing loudly when he closed the door.

“It’s so _windy_ ,” he complained loudly, buckling up his seat belt.

Shiro nodded, turning around and bracing his arm on the back of Matt’s seat as he backed out of his parking space. “You probably should’ve brought a heavier coat,” he commented, having noticed the thin jacket his friend was wearing.

“Yeah, but then I would have had to hold onto it at the restaurant,’ Matt pointed out, crossing his arms.

Shiro pulled out of the parking lot with a quick glance and headed for the main road while shaking his head. “Try not to catch a cold, or your parents will kill me,” he stated somewhat sarcastically.

“As if my dad would kill the best aviation student at the school,” Matt responded with an amused snort, giving Shiro a glance.

Shiro let out an amused huff. “Yeah, sure. I’m _the best_ , and you can’t tell a mouse from a keyboard,” he mocked in a poor imitation of Matt’s voice.

Matt frowned, his head tilting in the corner of Shiro’s vision. “But you are. You’re every instructor’s favorite student. Con even bragged to some of his buddies from another school about you,” the IT student explained. “You always get top marks on everything, and you can out-fly even the fourth-year students.”

Shiro stiffened, half out of surprise and half out of panic. He knew he was good, he’d led a team when he was in the military. However, he didn’t realize he was _that_ good, at least in the eyes of his instructors. If they thought so highly of his skills, where did they think he had learned them? He hadn’t attended any other colleges for training, having learned everything in the military. That left him with a rather barren academic record, which was why he was at his current university in the first place. He was aiming for a commercial license, so he could fly passenger planes or be a private pilot for a company. The lack of such things left only two possible origins of his skills: natural talent, or the military. The last thing he wanted was for someone to find out about the years he served. It could cause him professors and peers to treat him differently, maybe with the same stiff formality as they did with Sam despite the man’s insistence that they be more casual. Sam and Matt’s entire view of him might change, as Sam knew the challenges a veteran faced after returning to civilian life, and Matt was so accustomed to treating his father with care that he might start to act the same way around Shiro. If they found out that Shiro had been a soldier, he wouldn’t be the same in their eyes. He wouldn’t be just a nice guy from the aviation division. He would be revealed as the struggling man he was, someone carrying his own burdens. The Holts wouldn’t want to add to that weight, even if it was something important. Sam would tell him not to worry about Matt despite Quinn’s presence, that he has his own things to focus on, and that was the last thing Shiro wanted to see happen. He might have been struggling, but he was not fragile. He did not need to be coddled or treated as if he was always a hair away from shattering. He had been getting by on his own for a few years now, and even though it was hard sometimes, he wasn’t incapable of independence. He could take care of himself, and when someone he cared about was in danger, he could look out for them too.

“I do study a lot, I guess. I haven’t really had much else to do over the past few years,” Shiro said dismissively, waving a hand. It wasn’t a lie. He honestly didn’t have anything better to do, or at least he hadn’t before he befriended Matt. However, studying wasn’t where his skills came from and he knew it well. He just couldn’t bring himself to divulge those secrets, not yet.

Matt hummed, accepting the explanation, then turned to look out the window as Shiro pulled out on the main road. Signs flew by as Shiro accelerated, heading towards the area where the new restaurant they were heading to was at. However, he wasn’t quite sure of _exactly where_ in that area the restaurant was, and it seemed like it wouldn’t be too easy to find.

“Does your phone have mobile data?” Shiro asked, shifting in his seat as he realized his seatbelt made it impossible for him to reach his own phone.

“Uh, I think so,” Matt stated, shoving his own seatbelt away from his pocket so he could pull out his phone. He turned it on, typed in the passcode, then tapped around on the screen for a moment until his mobile data was activated. “Yeah. What do you need?”

“Can you get me the actual address for the restaurant? I checked before I left, but I can only remember the general area,” Shiro admitted with a frown as he searched their surroundings for signs.

“One sec.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Shiro could see Matt tapping away at his screen. It took a moment, but the IT student soon found what he was looking for.

“Okay, uh, take a right at the next stop light, then follow that road for a little bit,” Matt instructed, only glancing up from his screen once.

"You know how to get there?” Shiro asked, raising an eyebrow in slight surprise. He hadn’t thought Matt knew his way around so well, especially since he didn’t have his license and didn’t actually do any driving around.

“Google maps,” Matt explained simply, flipping his phone around so Shiro could glance at the screen. A blue line marked the path they were meant to take.

“Oh.” Shiro didn’t believe he had such a feature on his phone. If he did, he was completely unaware of it. However, it seemed like it would be very useful, and he made a mental note to check and see if he could use it on his own device later.

As instructed, Shiro took a right at the next stop light. He then followed the road until Matt told him to turn once, then again, then follow the road once more. They were in an area that looked something like an outlet mall, and Shiro recognized one of the stores as being one the restaurant was near. Sure enough, a glance around revealed the sign for the restaurant to their right, and Shiro maneuvered the car towards it and into a parking space somewhat far from the building.

“Sorry for the distance. I just don’t like parking up around a lot of other cars. A lot of the spaces aren’t very wide, and I can’t exactly get out of my car when I can only open my door one foot,” Shiro explained, killing the engine.

“That’s alright. My mom does the same thing because she doesn’t want some idiot to dent the car when they open their door,” Matt commented. “One bill for six-hundred dollars was enough.”

“For a little dent?” Shiro asked, his face scrunched up in confusion as he got out of the car.

Matt shut his door, pocketing his phone. “If by little, you mean it looked like someone threw a bowling ball at the side door and cracked the window, then yes.”

Shiro raised his eyebrows and let out a whistle, getting a nod of agreement from Matt.

After the car was locked, the pair headed for the door at the restaurant. They stepped inside and were instantly bombarded with the sound of clinking plates and people talking. It made Shiro stop short, and it took everything he had not to do a one-eighty and walk right back out. The cafeteria at the school was something he could manage, since it was noisy but spacious. The library had been a mess of crowded people but staying away from the crowd in a quieter area had helped Shiro tolerate the discomfort. However, _this_ was hell. It was crowded and compact, with people and noise _everywhere_.

Internally, Shiro smacked himself. How had he not thought about this? He had been so focused on going anywhere but the cafeteria where Quinn might see them that he hadn’t considered how packed the restaurant would be. It was new, and its menu had a variety great enough to attract scores of customers. Not only that, but the lunch rush had yet to end it seemed, so the restaurant was even busier. Shiro wouldn’t have been surprised if there were no open tables.

Shiro didn’t realize he’d retreated into his thoughts until Matt’s face appeared in front of him with a concerned frown. The IT student raised and eyebrow as Shiro blinked back to reality, then Matt motioned for Shiro to stay put before he approached the hostess.

Shiro watched as Matt talked to the young woman, unable to hear a word they said over the noise. All he was aware of was Matt’s a hand waving slightly to his side and he motioned around. The conversation lasted nearly half a minute, then he hostess nodded and picked up two menus before heading off. As Matt motioned for him to follow, Shiro hesitantly stepped further into the restaurant.

The two students followed the woman through the winding maze that was the restaurant, slipping past tables and booths. Shiro noticed that some of the ones they passed were clean and empty, leaving him confused as to why they were continuing past them. Were there reservations on them?

In the depts of the restaurant, Matt and Shiro were finally seated at a booth in the corner. Matt slid into the seat facing the wall, leaving Shiro with the booth that faced the restaurant. Being able to see everything left him feeling more relaxed and in control. As he relaxed, he also noticed that the noise wasn’t nearly as bad as before. The back of the restaurant was actually rather quiet, the noise from when they’d first walked in now distant.

“My name is Amber, and I’ll be looking after you today. Feel free to call me over if you need anything else,” the woman said as she placed the menus in front of them.

Shiro and Matt both gave an appreciative nod, Matt tagging on a ‘thank you’ with a kind smile.

Shiro tilted his head, picking up on a few oddities in his friend and the woman. Anything _else_? An extra ‘thank you’? The latter could have been Matt being polite, but when grouped with Amber’s words and all the empty tables they passed towards the front of the restaurant, his instincts told him he was missing something.

“I asked if there was a quieter part of the restaurant where we could sit, since you have trouble with the ready crowded and noisy spaces,” Matt informed, nodding towards their surroundings. It was mostly older people and couples quietly enjoying their food, maybe making the occasional joke or comment. There were none of the screeching children or tipsy adults hooting at each other that had been at the front of the restaurant.

“Oh,” Shiro said, a feeling of warmth spreading through his chest. “Thanks.” It had been thoughtful of Matt to do him such a favor without even being asked, especially when the restaurant was busy, and the hostess was not guaranteed to care at all. However, it seemed that Matt and Amber were both feeling kind. Shiro made a mental note to remember to leave a good tip.

The two browsed the menus as they waited for Amber’s return, then Shiro ordered a coke and a nice-looking burger he’d spotted while searching for something to eat. Matt ordered a sprite and buffalo chicken burger with extra jalapenos. The thought of it alone made Shiro’s eyes water, getting him a snort of laughter from Matt.

“Like I said, I like sugary stuff. However, spicy is also a favorite,” Matt explained. “Habanero gummy bears,” he stated, “are the greatest invention known to man.”

Shiro made a face at the thought, reached for the small rack of condiments against the wall on their table. He spun the hot sauce around, then raised an eyebrow at Matt.

“Twenty bucks says you wouldn’t chug this,” the aviation student challenged.

Matt leaned back and crossed his arms. “If we weren’t at a restaurant, I’d chug it for five.”

Slightly concerned, Shiro released the bottle and leaned back. “Remind me to never leave you anywhere near candy or hot sauce,”

Matt chuckled and had to bite back his laughter as Amber returned with their drinks. He and Shiro both thanked her before she left, then his laughter poured out again.

“Bold of you to assume you could stop me,” the IT student countered with a wicked grin.

Shiro crossed his arms. “I say that because I’m sure I _can’t_ stop you.”

Matt laughed again, his voice quiet out of courtesy for those around them. However, he stopped dead and froze suddenly, his head whipping to the side. His eyes locked on a man who sat down at a nearby table, pupils constricted.

“Matt?” Shiro questioned, leaning forward as he fixed a worried look on his friend. His gaze flicked to the man momentarily, then back to Matt as the younger man let out a sigh of relief and turned back towards his friend, slumping in his seat.

“Sorry, it’s nothing,” the IT student said, though his tone was tense. Shiro was able to see through the lie easily.

Frowning, Shiro looked over at the man who had caught Matt’s attention and studied him. When the man turned his head somewhat towards them, part of Shiro’s mind made a connection. His face was familiar, but it was not one he knew. It only looked somewhat like one he knew, one he wished he’d never seen. This man was not who Shiro might have thought, though he did look like him.

Carefully, not wanting to prod too much, Shiro lowered his voice. “Quinn?” he questioned, aware that the man near them looked like that unsavory person at a glance.

Matt nodded. “I though that guy was him for a second,” he admitted. “I already saw him earlier today while at the IT Center.” He then went quiet, eyes on the fizz of his drink.

Shiro looked down at the table, not sure of how he should proceed. It took a moment for him to commit to his plan, as it wasn’t something he wanted to do. However, he was curious and angry. Clearly, Quinn had hurt Matt in the past. How he’d done and how bad it had been, Shiro didn’t know. Maybe he wouldn’t ever. At the moment though, Shiro wanted to do anything he could to try to help Matt feel safer.

“If you see Quinn, don’t hesitate to call me. I don’t care if I’m two feet away or two miles. I don’t know what he did, but I know it wasn’t good. I won’t let him go near you, no matter what I need to do to keep him away,” Shiro promised, leaning forward and speaking softly as he stared at Matt, who was still looking down at his drink.

Matt was still for a moment, then he shook his head. “He’s not worth it,” he stated, a muscle in his jaw tensing. The IT student reached for his straw, and Shiro noticed a slight tremor in his hands. The younger man tore off the paper on one end, slid part of the straw free, then pulled it out with his teeth. However, he didn’t place it in his drink. Instead, he chewed on the end as if it would release the tension within him.

The two were silent, and Shiro started to regret ever mentioning Quinn. He was worried Matt might clam up and make himself anxious instead of letting Shiro help him.

]“He was just a dumb kid in high school who didn’t like me much.”

Shiro’s gaze shot up from the table, landing on Matt’s face. The IT student was still looking at his drink, his gaze unmoving.

“Getting pushed around by him wasn’t fun, but I was able to manage it. That’s not some ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ shit. It sucked, but I just kinda ignored him. He was only in a couple of my classes, too, so I never had to put up with him the whole day.”

Matt finally took his straw out of his mouth and set it in his drink, stirring around the pop and ice slowly and twirling the straw in his fingers. His eyes stayed on the straw. “I pissed him off one day, got him in trouble. It wasn’t over something he did to me, though. There was another kid he was bothering, a new kid who didn’t have a single person to back him up. I didn’t really have anyone either, but it was easier for me since I wasn’t surrounded by strangers. This kid, he took Quinn’s words well at first, but he started to crack quickly. One day, he started crying. Quinn just laughed. It pissed me off more than anything Quinn had ever done before.”

Shiro’s hands clenched into fists, his anger nearing boiling point. He knew what Matt meant when he said he got shit from Quinn. It hadn’t been just once or twice, either. It was something Shiro knew well, just in a different form. He’d been isolated by his peers, and they talked behind his back, but his appearance was too intimidating for anyone to confront him outright. Matt was small and weak in appearance, and he seemed to pose no threat to anyone. People wouldn’t hesitate to get up in his face, and Quinn had done just that. He’d done it day after day, and while Shiro didn’t know the reason, he knew enough. Bullying was dangerous. Bullying had left a young Keith crying in his room while Shiro stood outside the door, unsure of what to say. It had shackled Lance with depression and made Hunk afraid to go to school. The taunts built up over time, creating a looming darkness in the mind until it was impossible to bear any longer.

“I stole his phone and set it up to go off during one of his classes. I just gave him a taste of his own medicine, made it seem like his reason for giving us shit applied to him too. He got so mad. I knew he’d be pissed, but I went with it anyway. It got his attention off the other kid, though he changed schools soon anyway. After that, Quinn was down a target and pissed as hell, and he made sure I knew just how much I screwed up,” Matt explained quietly.

“Matt,” Shiro whispered quietly. He had been curious about what had happened, and part of him had wanted to know. However, he wished he could take all the words Matt had spoken and push them back into his friend’s mind. Knowing was so much worse than being oblivious. It was beyond painful for Shiro, and he couldn’t imagine how Matt must have felt explaining everything.

The pair was silent for a moment, Matt’s lips twitching as if he had more to say but wasn’t sure if he wanted to let the words out. Meanwhile, Shiro was deep in thought. No wonder Matt had been so afraid when he’d seen Quinn. Fists might leave more physical scars, but words left scars on the mind that took ages to heal and even longer to fade. Sometimes, those mental scars wouldn’t fade at all. They’d always be there, a reminder of what had once happened. Matt’s story wasn’t heavy on details about what Quinn had said to him, but clearly whatever it was had left a lasting impact. Those words had hurt Matt so bad that Quinn’s very _presence_ startled him and made him lose himself. That night after the party, Matt had barely recognized Shiro before he calmed down, to the point where he had slapped Shiro’s hand away when the older man had gone to touch his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Sure, Sam had said that Matt wouldn’t have reacted as strongly if not for the fact that he hadn’t seen Quinn in years and didn’t know he attended the same university, but Matt had seemed absolutely _terrified_. What had Quinn said that made Matt close himself up and, quite literally, push others away? Just how bad did it have to have been to condition a physical response? Shiro himself would only move away if he wanted to keep his distance. The only times he’d ever slapped someone’s hand away was when they tried to touch his mangled right arm, or on one occasion when he’d been teaching Keith how to punch properly and didn’t expect a right hook aimed directly for his face. That hadn’t been long after Shiro’s discharge from the military, and at the time, the surprise had thrown a glimpse of the past at him. He’d seen the fist of a stranger who wanted to hurt him, so he’d slapped Keith’s fist aside to deflect the blow without thinking. What words hurt more than a physical attack? Unless…

The blood suddenly drained from Shiro’s face and his heart went cold as a realization struck him. Words couldn’t be shoved aside with a hand, so how would they have inspired Matt’s physical reaction? Hateful comments and taunts didn’t make someone get defensive physically. Matt saw Quinn, then for the first time since they’d met, Matt had reacted instinctively to something with violence. _“And what causes violence…besides violence?”_ Shiro thought. He wanted to stop his thoughts there, to keep quiet and not pry, shut down the conversation before Matt was too upset, but the question slipped out before he could stop it.

“Matt… did Quinn… did he hit you?”

Matt didn’t even look up at Shiro, instead lowering his head even more as if he wanted to hide his face. Then he spoke, his voice low and quiet.

“The first time I got a black eye, I got a girl in my math class to cover it up with her makeup. I didn’t want my parents to find out and get worried. I hid all that for ages, and Quinn made it easy. He was hoping for a scholarship once he finished high school, so he was careful not to leave any bruises in plain sight, so he wouldn’t get caught. My parents almost found out a few times, and my sister walked in on me changing my shirt once and saw the bruises. I told her I knocked a few textbooks off a desk while kneeling and they fell on me. She didn’t believe me, but she never said anything. It took months for my parents to find out about it all.”

Shiro found himself staring at the table in front of him, any words he might have thought to say dying on his tongue. He had one hand over his mouth to hold back his nausea as his thoughts raced. He didn’t even notice when Amber brought their food, only faintly hearing Matt thank her. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that Shiro was finally able to look up at Matt, who seemed to be looking anywhere but at him.

“I’m so sorry,” Shiro said quietly, his eyes going to his hands. He picked at the leather of his gloves, unsure of what else to say, if anything at all.

Matt gave no reply, simply sitting there. He picked at a fry on his plate, eating it almost robotically, as his mind was elsewhere.

Shiro made no more to even touch his food, appetite gone. He simply sat in silence until Amber came back with their bills, and he gave her a smile and a nod when she asked if they wanted boxes. He and Matt both packed up their food and paid their bills, then slipped a few dollars under their empty plates as a tip for Amber. They left in silence, and they didn’t speak at all in the car on the way back to the University. It wasn’t until Shiro pulled into the parking lot near the IT Center that Matt finally spoke.

“Sorry about ruining lunch, and for dragging you out of the party on Saturday,” he apologized quietly. “It was a bit pathetic,” he added with a sad chuckle.

Shiro’s grip on the steering wheel tightened as he clenched his jaw against his rising aggression.

“No.”

The single word was spoken so harshly, his tone cold and adamant.

Matt finally looked at Shiro, taking in his tense features. Meanwhile, Shiro was struggling to keep his anger in check.

“There is _nothing_ pathetic about _any_ part of you,” Shiro growled, willing away the tickle of angry tears in his eyes. “Quinn is a piece of shit, and there isn’t a _single thing_ that you should be apologizing for.”

“Try saying that again next time he knocks me on my ass with a single pu-“

“That. Won’t. Happen.”

Normally, Shiro didn’t interrupt people, but that moment was an exception. He would _not_ let Matt finish that sentence. He would _not_ let Matt believe he would end up back at Quinn’s mercy, back in a hellish life of pain and suffering. Matt, kind and funny Matt, the one who told dumb jokes and dabbed at the dumbest times, who asked for a table in a quieter part of the restaurant so Shiro wouldn’t suffer, didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve Quinn’s shit.

“I won’t let him lay a _finger_ on you, not again, no matter what I have to do,” Shiro promised, his gaze on the building in front of him.

Matt sighed. “Thanks, but he’s not worth it. You’re on a scholarship, right? If you so much as yell at him, they might take that from you. Besides, you have a life too. I can’t go relying on you like you’re a bodyguard,” he reasoned, sounding a bit tired.

Shiro frowned, but he kept himself from speaking. Matt was entirely right. His financial aid would disappear if he attacked someone, even if he did it for good reason. Shiro wouldn’t always be there, either, just as Sam had said before. He had classes to go to, a cat to look after, and a brother at home to keep in contact with. Not only that, but Matt was nearly twenty years old. He was an adult, not a child who needed to be protected. Quinn might not be the only violent person he’d ever encounter, and he’d only be able to rely on himself when he got in trouble. Shiro wouldn’t always be able to protect him no matter how hard he might try, though there was something else he could do.

“Let me teach you how to fight.”

This caught Matt’s attention, and he whipped his head to the side so his wide eyes met Shiro’s. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. He seemed a bit stunned, though whether it was due to the offer itself or the fact that Shiro must know how to fight if he was offering such a thing, Shiro didn’t know.

“Well, not actually _fight_. You shouldn’t fight him or anyone unless you _have_ to, but…” Shiro paused, trying to explain. “You shouldn’t be afraid of him, and I don’t want him to hurt you. I want to know that you’ll be safe even when I’m not around, or when your family isn’t around. If you can protect yourself and be able to get away from danger, then Quinn can’t hurt you, and neither can anyone like him.”

Matt was silent for a moment, his brain still processing. It took a moment for him to find his voice. “Aren’t you busy though? It’s November already, and classes will be done in a little over a month. You need time to study. Besides, I’m like, two feet tall and about as big around as a stick. Even if I can throw a punch, it’s not going to _do_ anything,” he reasoned, frowning.

Shiro shook his head. “It’s worth the time, Matt, and you need to stop doubting yourself. Just because Quinn won before doesn’t mean he always will,” he argued. “Besides, I taught a lot of what I know to my younger brother, Keith. He’s not much bigger than you, but he can knock _me_ on my ass. He’s had a lot of time to practice, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.”

Matt looked down at is shoes, his face twisted by a mixture of emotions. “I could always just keep away from him as much as possible. That way, I don’t have to waste any more of your time. You’ve already had to put up with my breakdown after the party and dealt with me complaining about the stupidest shit or rambling on and on about tech shit no one outside the IT program understands. I don’t want you to feel like you always have to help me out,” he admitted, his voice quiet.

“Matt,” Shiro began, “you’re my _friend_. You’re _supposed_ to complain to me about stupid shit, ramble about the things you love, and ask for help when you need it. Quinn hurt you, and I don’t want you to get hurt again, alright? I can’t always keep him away, and I can’t always have your back. But this is something I _can_ do,” he explained.

After a moment of silent contemplating, Matt met Shiro’s eyes once more. His expression melted into a soft smile, and he nodded. “Okay. Thank you, Shiro.”

Shiro returned the smile. “Of course.”

The two sat there, watching each other and smiling, neither of them moving. It took Matt a moment to remember that he needed to go meet up with his dad, and only then did he unbuckle his seat belt and get out of the car. He gave Shiro a grin and a wave, which Shiro returned before backing out of his parking space and heading to his dorm.

-000-

When Shiro was back in his room, he flopped down on the bed with a sigh. His gaze went to the ceiling as he let his mind wander, reviewing the events of the past few hours. Matt had been bullied in school, quite badly it seemed. Someone as sweet and seemingly innocent as him had lived through such a nightmare, and Quinn was the one who’d done it. No wonder Matt had been so shaken after the party.

As to exactly _why_ Matt had been bullied, Shiro didn’t know, though he didn’t plan to ask. Matt didn’t owe him any explanation, and he’d reveal the details only if he felt comfortable with it. Shiro was okay with that. Matt had already trusted him with enough of his story, something Shiro had yet to manage himself. It made him feel a bit guilty, learning new things about Matt, deeper and more personal things, while he himself was stubbornly holding on to secrets. What had he told Matt about himself? That he had a cat and a brother? That his financial situation wasn’t great? That he had struggled with going to school while raising Keith? Those weren’t exactly deep secrets.

‘ _Even if I did feel ready to talk about myself more, now isn’t really a good time_ ,’ Shiro thought to himself. It may have been a poor attempt at consoling himself, but he wasn’t exactly wrong. Matt was struggling with the whole Quinn ordeal, and it wouldn’t help him if Shiro decided to call him up and say something like ‘ _oh, by the way, I’m a retired veteran like your dad who suffers from PTSD because I was taken captive and tortured. Also, I have a bunch of metal fused to my right arm because it got mangled during my time in captivity, which is why I always wear gloves and long sleeves. Fun fact, I’ve been raising Keith myself for years because his mom left when he was a baby and I was adopted by his dad a few years before he died, leaving me as the only known living relative Keith has.’_

“Definitely not a good time for that,” Shiro stated aloud. “Right, Eurus?” he asked, turning his head to the side to look at his cat as she entered the room. Shiro got a stare in response, making him smile slightly.

Sighing, Shiro sat up, rubbing at his eyes. “I hope you’re excited to see Matt again. He’ll probably be over here a few more times soon,” he told Eurus, only to suddenly pause. After saying the words out loud, they finally sunk in, and he remembered his words from earlier.

“Shit.”

Shiro flopped back down on his bed, this time turning over to lay on his stomach and bury his face in his pillow as he thought back to the conversation he and Matt had had in the car. Matt had admitted to thinking he was sometimes bothersome to Shiro, and hadn’t wanted to accept his offer to help because he didn’t want to take up his time, and what did Shiro do? He got _sappy_.

“He’s gonna think I’m some crazy dude who moms people,” Shiro muttered to himself. “Do I mom people?” he asked, raising his head to search for Eurus. In response, the cat jumped up on his back, making him sigh. “He _is_ my friend though, and I do want to help him.”

With another sigh, Shiro rolled over, earning a squeak of protest from Eurus as she fell off his back.

“Sorry,” he said to her, getting to his feet. He crossed to the other side of the room where his backpack leaned against the wall and pulled out the folder containing his English homework. Midterms had been earlier in the week, and the usual wall of homework had already returned.

Sitting down on the floor, Shiro began his homework. While his mind was on his work, there was a small part of him that felt a bit excited, while another small part was worried. He was looking forward to working with Matt, but he was also worried about what questions might come of it. Matt hadn’t asked yet, but what if he questioned where Shiro had learned how to fight? Also, while Shiro was planning to keep contact to a minimum, what if Matt still managed to touch his arm and feel the metal beneath his sleeve? What if he was showing Matt how to punch or kick and a scar peeked out from beneath his clothes? He wasn’t ready to bring up the things he often tried not to think about, and as he had concluded earlier, it wasn’t currently a good time to mention anything to Matt. All he could do was hope that everything would go smoothly, and if it didn’t, then he’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: One of the difficult parts of this chapter was whether or not Matt was going to explain what had happened with Quinn. I felt it would be a bit rushed to have him spill his guts about everything, though I also thought that having him withhold the story would drag out the period of questioning in which Shiro tries to understand the situation and put emphasis on a less important part of this arc. In the end, I decided to have Matt explain some of what had happened without giving out all the details, such as why Quinn targeted him, what he was called, etc. I felt this route was also a testament to Matt's trust in Shiro, as he felt comfortable enough with him to lower his guard and give out such personal details, and I think this trust will serve as a sturdy foundation for what has yet to come.


End file.
